My new mat

This is my new yoga mat that I really like because it is all cotton and environmentally friendly. With all the issues from sticky mats; their use of questionable materials and problems with disposal, this mat fills the gap for an eco-sustainable alternative. According to the seller, “The dyes are natural and the residual dye water is used to irrigate fruits of fruits and vegetables that surround the manufacturing facility. No power is used in the production of our rugs. The water source is a well on the site. The cotton dries in the sun. The rugs are hand-made on manual looms by master weavers.”



The mat has a heavy weave that is densely woven and hand-made on manual looms by craftsmen in India. Seems very strong and durability and they come with a 15 year warranty. When I open the package there was a sweet smell rather than a plastic or rubber smell that is associated with new mats which was nice. Extra cool is an attached tag that had the craftsperson’s signature on it who made the mat. Its grip on the feet is pretty good (will be interesting to see how it grips once it is roughed up a bit). I think it would be extra perfect for a sweaty, hot yoga practice since it’s cotton and can be machine washed.

The only thing that I don’t like about it is that it slips too easily on the polished wood floor at the studio that I practice at. I wrote the owner of the company and he said they were going to offer a natural rubber underlay for the mat for $5. This should solve that problem.

Anyway check them out here: Yogasana
and on Facebook

Smile or Die

Anybody get annoyed at all the beautiful positive people in the yoga scene? Everyone seems so perfect and happy and beautiful and bendy and smiling and smart and hip...instead of hearing them say "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade", for once I'd like to hear something honest like "this sh*t be broke"...damn and it's only December.

Bhagavad Gita (fragment from Mahabharata)

This is an amazing production that I know nothing about. A nice change from the Bollywood cliche....






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Hummmmm

I cracked up when I saw this cover. Once you have the spirit (yoga) everything tends to look like yoga images. Would love to know the back story on this cover since I would think the the majority of Newsweek readers (total assumption) don't know where this image came from. I do guess though that we will now hear some claiming that Ombama is a radical Hindu...

Black Friday Shopping Guide 2010

Here are you picks for the after Thanksgiving sale at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore

The CosmicYoga Light Bulb

A fabulous recreation of the ordinary light bulb, the CosmicYoga light bulb might, at first glance, seem like an ordinary light bulb. However, once twisted into your favorite lamp, it shines with the light of inner contentment, piercing the darkness of your shallow and trite life and pointing brightly to the path of eternal bliss. Perfect for those dark, winter months.

The PranicYoga Binoculars

Truly a breakthrough product for your yoga explorations, though shaped like ordinary binoculars, this unique tool allows you to see the Clear Light of Truth when peering into one end and a glimpse of your inner being while looking through the other end. Especially helpful in spotting karmic bumps in the road.

Note of Caution: When using PranicYoga Binoculars, be aware that distant karmic objects are always closer then they appear.

The YogaEnlightenment Video Game

A cross between the ancient yogic art of spiritual discipline and the more modern art of online gaming, watch the Higher Self rack up high scores while ascending to the next level of consciousness in this transcendentally exciting contest between yogis of different schools and styles. With many real-life obstacles to throw off your yoga practice, this game guarantees hours of absorbing play.

The CrownChakra Crown

Designed by a master artisan who studied ritual magic, energy and healing, alchemy, light bodies, and the teachings of the Siddha masters, this crown can be worn during meditation or any other time that you need to be freed from the grip of illusion.

The AncientYogi Action and BobbleHead Collection

We have them all here folks. With the largest selection of action heroes and bobble heads depicting famous yoga stars and ancient adapts, these figurines offer the finest selection for collecting and sharing with other yoga students and teachers. Be sure to bring one to set up in front of your mat for inspiration during your next yoga session. Look for our forthcoming exclusive collection of major saints and gods of all the world’s religions.

Bonus Purchase: Be sure to buy the action hero altar to display your collection safely, with dignity and respect.

Happy Thanksgiving - Save the Turkeys

The YogiTea Party

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In one of the zaniest manifestations of a political season gone mad, a group of six males gathered across from the White House to protest what they believed is the increasing socialization of yoga. Holding signs and answering questions from curious bystander, this band of retirement aged, white men from San Antonio, Texas, spent much of the day in a tea party styled demonstration.

Their story began in a yoga studio named Earl’s of San Antonio in which they practice what they call "real American yoga". They call themselves “Yoguys” and practice a style of yoga that seems to incorporate guns and beer. Hearing that Michelle Obama did yoga on the White House lawn, they became convinced that President Obama would push for yoga to be included in the new free preventative services by health care providers. They decided to drive to DC and protest “this socialized yoga”. When asked if they were part of the Tea Party movement, they replied, “Hell no, we are the YogiTea Party”.

This group claims that there is a vast left wing yoga blogger conspiracy run by fundamentalist yogis who are trying to topple American yoga “as we know it”. They cite examples of these bloggers railing against recent developments in the yoga world which show an increasing commercialization, blatant nudity and irrelevant yoga magazines that show only young, flexible, white women. These yoga blogger seem to decry the secularization of yoga and the alliance to corporate interests in the exploitation of yoga by many upstart yoga stars who feel they need not adhere to yoga’s historical standards.

After a few hours of waving their signs, the group trashed them in a nearby trashcan and headed to bar a few blocks away. Though they are not sure if they had convinced anyone of their concerns, they did nonetheless press the point that they knew “Obama was born in India” and are convinced that he will soon outsource yoga back to India."

The YogaDawg Interview - The Yoga Mongrel

The YogaDawg Interview - The Yoga Mongrel

By MIMI ONTHEBEACH

YogaDawg seems to be living the dog’s life since shutting down his famous yoga blog. His two assistants tease him about trying to wake early one day and look for a job. That YogaDawg, the inventor of the SuperDuper Bliss Inducer Super Bok Choy™ style of yoga has only two assistants is in itself significant. There is a popular image that many yogis have; that American yoga has gone to the dogs. They cite yoga stars with their commercial endorsements and hot advertising photos; who live in swank pads in the Yogatopia strongholds of Los Angeles and New York City and who, through their vast yoga organizations and studios, employs numerous assistants, employees and teachers while paying them practically nothing. Not YogaDawg. He found that if you call your assistants, disciples, you don’t have to pay them anything.

On a recent dog day of summer, this elusive and controversial yoga guru agreed to shed some light on the working of the mysterious nature of his yoga and his popularity. He agreed to meet a reporter at his home in a city which was to remain unidentified as one of the conditions for granting the interview.

The day of the interview, the yoga guru answered the door wearing a cap worn backwards, coupled with a black shirt and pants and sporting a pair of Karachi sandals. His appearance was much different than his official photo that can be found on the internet. Though his complexion is a bit furry; his hat is cool, the black shirt loose and hip, and he spoke with a bit of a Scooby Doo lint. With his long nose and ears, he looked a bit doggish.

YogaDawg's un-guru like appearance

YogaDawg’s one room ‘home’, located in a flop house in the skid row section of the city, is crammed with boxes of YogaDawg t-shirts, samples of yoga products sent by what he calls, “the Yoga Industrial Complex” for endorsements along with numerous cans of Alpo. It felt cramped, claustrophobic and chaotic perhaps reflecting those attributes of this yoga star’s own life.

I spent several hours with YogaDawg during this interview and when YogaDawg wasn’t sitting or dosing off, he was at his computer hoping for an elusive t-shirt sale or leaving snarky comments on yoga blogs. “YogaDawg can usually stop a serious blog discussion in its track by one of his ridiculous comments or inane views on yoga” says Roseanne Harvey of the It’s All Yoga, Baby blog. “It’s gotten worse now that he has abandoned his own yoga blog”, she adds. “If you see him, tell him all the yoga bloggers want him to get a life or do Pilates or something.”

When not giving dog and pony shows of his SuperDuper BlissInducer Super Bok Choy™ method, he is at home keeping tabs on all the ancillary businesses he has created; his YogaDawg publishing ventures (he maintains an absurdly popular website as well as the ever popular My Third Eye Itches yoga guide book); his YogaDawg yoga-gear business (YogaDawg has his own line of t-shirts,) and Studio Dawggy, (a new venture he is trying to find investors cash as the only yoga-school offering his method of yoga). In his downtime, he updates his Facebook page.

YogaDawg, looking dog tired, settled himself on a chair before a rickety kitchen table to begin the interview. His assistants (disciples), a man named MadDawg along with his lovely wife HotDawg, paw around offering water and what looked like really disgusting dog biscuits. YogaDawg claimed it was “some kind of health food from India”. YogaDawg rubbed his eyes, licks his chops with his long tongue and abandoned attempts to stifle yawns. It’s tiring being a famous yogi. YogaDawg, who claims to be 100 years old according to his bio, seems like one pooped pooch. But once he starts talking about his SuperDuper BlissInducer Super Bok Choy™ yoga, his energy returns, his eyes open wide and he occasionally lets out a spirited woof. You almost expect him to fly out the window on a magic yoga mat.

HotDawg and MadDawg, the two disciples of YogaDawg

I didn’t know the extent of what others call “the cult of YogaDawg” before the interview. And was surprised to find that YogaDawg was being referred to as the George Carlin of the yoga world (though others have compared him to Stan Laurel or even Sacha Baron Cohen) by his many fans. Not all yogis, though, hold YogaDawg in such high esteem. “He’s not going make fun of my yoga video empire again, is he?” asked a famous yoga star who wished to remain anonymous“. “It kills me that Yoga Journal voted his blog one of the best yoga blogs last year. Pleeeaaaz…next thing you know they will start calling him the next yoga stud muffin,” he added.

YogaDawg’s yoga is based on ancient yoga postures he claims he discovered in an ancient and mysterious dog-eared yoga manuscript that was written on banana leaves in India. He said he found the manuscript in the basement of the main branch of the Baltimore Library but which has since been eaten by hungry water bugs. When asked how the Indian manuscript ended up in Baltimore he simply replied, “Pirates”.

YogaDawg explains his unique yoga

“It is the nature of celebrity to attract adoring crowds to a yoga star like YogaDawg,” says Stella Sloborski, the author of “The Dog’s Down Dog,” a new history of dog yoga in American. “Also, he’s kind of cute and yoga people just want to pat him.”

Certainly the fan emails I asked to see bore that idea out: “Your website is awesome, man. I don't remember ever laughing this hard with tears streaming down my cheeks and snot pouring out of my nose,” wrote one student. “You are the Joel Mchale/Soup of yoga,” wrote another. Still another wrote “You are a Satyr disguised as a dog, YogaDawg, that is. A satirist looking right and left to Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart then over his shoulders to Andy Kaufman and Lenny Bruce. Bottom line, You are genius”. (One sign that YogaDawg has reached rock-star yogi status: men and women press doggie treats into his hands at workshops.)

YogaDawg exposes his yoga ideas online via his yoga website and tells a version of his life story from which he never deviates: Born Tahyo Fideaux in New Orleans, he was abandoned to a band of roaming exiled bohemian intellectuals, opium addicts, booze hounds and harlots. His life reads like some fictional character in a canine caper, only this caper is more in the nature of who let the dogs out, yoga style.

Some examples are telling: In his search for the famous Jnana yogi, Krishnamurti, he ends up in Indiana instead of India where he works as a carnie in a circus for several years. He eventually made it to India and ran into several unnamed yoga masters and starts to pen his pivotal work, My Third Eye Itches. He abandons his tome to return to the states to study with the first American yoga star, Richard Hittleman. Subsequently, he gets involved in the New York Abstract Expression art scene and, becomes addicted to drugs and alcohol as begins work on his great conceptual art masterpiece, YogaDawg Howls.


Unfortunately, the work was too advanced for the time and was panned in the art press. YogaDawg suffered a complete mental breakdown and was hospitalized shortly thereafter. “That was some fucked up shit’, he explained.

YogaDawg distraught over the memory of his breakdown

After several years in the Bellevue hospital in New York City, he got well enough to venture back to India to hook up with the Beatles at Maharishi Mahesh Yogis’ ashram. On the way there, YogaDawg holed up in a cave “because it was raining cats and dogs and I needed some shelter”. He ended up living in that cave for 30 years. He explained that with the help of the neighboring hermits and sadhus, he perfected and advanced the method of his SuperDuper BlissInducer Super Bok Choy™ yoga. After being given the name Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru Yogadawg by these neighboring holy people, he returned to the U.S. to spread his yoga method. “Doggoneit, I miss those crazy naked sadhus,” he lamented. (Full bio here)

YogaDawg demonstrates his yoga method

As the interview wore on, the temperature became too hot to continue it in the little room (he has neither air conditioning nor even a fan), we decided to break it off and let sleeping dogs lie for the moment. Yogadawg suggested we walk to a neighborhood tavern to cool off.

While walking there, I asked YogaDawg if he had any regrets about his yoga path. He gave a surprising answer, “Just one really. I just regret that Baron Baptiste won’t befriend me on Facebook,” he reflected sadly. “God knows I reached out to him several times. He really didn’t take those cracks about being caught without his bandana and flying serious, did he?” (Our calls to Mr. Baptiste for comment were not returned). I looked over to see a sad puppy dog look on his face as he bowed his head towards the pavement ahead. YogaDawg seemed to be deeply hurt by this.

Reaching our destination with our dogs killing us from the long trek, we entered the bar (really just a dive). Seeing YogaDawg walk in, the bartender gave YogaDawg the stink eye. With a hostile vibe, the barkeep was about to say something when YogaDawg interrupted him by saying something quite yogic and profound, “Breathe, she’s paying.” It seems YogaDawg knows how to dispense his yoga wisdom even off the yoga mat. Suddenly like a vinyasa, the beer flowed and everyone was toasting YogaDawg (all on my tab)

As we left the bar I asked YogaDawg one last question whose answer I hoped might shed the most light on where YogaDawg was headed next with his yoga and consequently where the yoga scene was headed: “So what are your plans for the future”? YogaDawg, in a classic tail that wags the dog answer replied, “I’m going to check out the yoga butts and half-naked hotties in Yoga Journal.” I told him I was surprised that such an advance yogi would read Yoga Journal to which he replied, "I only study the ads and the cover, the rest of it is so much yoga drivel." He paused for a second, looked me up and down and then asked “By the way, are you into naked yoga?”

Exclusive - YogaDawg Nude

It seems that it is de rigueur now for new yoga stars to pose nude in a yoga pose. I got master artist, Art Trip, to take some tasteful photos of me in the buff. You know it's art because it's black and white...



How about this for a scary Halloween costume, naked jack o' latern yoga man. This should scare the bejesus out of Yoga Journal.

That's All Folks

Welp, that’s it! The yoga inbox is cleaned out, the last satirical bits have been written and published, the mat is rolled up, the yoga studio is now an art studio and YogaDawg is quitting snarky yoga blogging to concentrate on his painting (Eight years ago I laid my brushes down and I vow never again. I declare once and for all, I am an ARTIST!). Perhaps this will be picked back up sometime in the future. In the meantime, thanks to all you beautiful yogis who took the time to visit and who shared a laugh. You can always go to My Third Eye Itches to find all the original YogaDawg material from over the years.

I do want to leave you with my very first piece of writing that happens to be about my first yoga class which was written before YogaDawg was even YogaDawg. The yoga world was wide open for me then and I am convinced that it had somehow brought me back to my art.

Always my best to you,

YogaDawg

----

During a particularly bleak winter, I took a yoga class. Actually, the yoga class took me as I woke up one morning with the thought, “do yoga…”. Where did that come from? What an absurd thought. After all, just the word yoga sounded goofy to me.

With curiosity, I googled ‘yoga’ and saw that there was a studio in a part of the city where I was sure I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. I was thinking that this could promise to be a complete embarrassment to me or just another hare-brained idea of mine so I knew that doing yoga would best be done in complete anonymity.

Saturday morning, the day of the class, I drove downtown, where the studio was located. It would have been a pleasant morning drive if wasn’t for the crazed dialog that was running in my head. After all, I did feel a little stupid doing this. A gym might have been a bit more explainable, but machines and sweat (yogis don’t sweat, right?) never appealed to me.

”Yoga? You’re going to do Yoga???”
“Yeah, I’m going to do yoga, I think I need to do this”.
“You are going to make a fool out of yourself”.
“Probably, but no one knows me there and I can get drunk afterwards”…
”I don’t know, this is going to end up bad somehow…”
“Yea, you’re probably right, maybe I should turn around at the next exit!”

Somehow I made it to the yoga studio and was a bit surprised that I didn’t throw myself out of the car on the way down. As the studio was on the second floor, I made my way up the stairs to the studio door as I concurred with my other half, “Okay, this is stupid…”. Turning to leave, I heard the door open downstairs as a student walked in. The ego being a fragile thing, I knew that going into the studio would be easier than being seen fleeing with some lame excuse (“I thought this was the Starbucks, hee, hee, hee…”).

I entered the studio feeling silly and uptight. The instructor greeted me, said her name is Susie and walked me through the signup process. Not knowing what a yoga teacher should look like, I would have not be surprised if she looked like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. She didn’t and was welcoming and smiling. Susie explains to me what we are going to do…”…a little yoga (okay), a little Tai-Chi (whatever) and learn a little Sanskrit” (Oh man, she’s going to recite the Bhagavad-Gita in the original language….). I don’t know nothing from yoga and I am definitely lost here. She tells me to grab a mat and take a seat.

Susie starts the class and has us close our eyes (…perfect… lights out…shields down!) and instructs us to circle our heads and shoulders around and do something she calls the ‘cat/cow’ pose. With a smidgen of confidence, we begin a series of poses that proved just how unprepared I was for all this. Some of the poses have English names but the others were all unpronounceable to me except for one that sounds like Chimichanga (Note to self: stop by a Mexican restaurant on the way back home).

I’m clueless as to what I am supposed to be doing. This stuff goes on forever, repeats over and over and I’m completely out of sync from looking up and around to see what everyone else is doing. I’m lost, can’t keep up, I’m dripping sweat, I’m weak and woozy, I’m hating this, want to stop, but most of all, I want a beer because I can’t take it anymore. Susie mentions, “ …and when you need to rest, go into child’s pose…” (does she see me going down for the final count?) . I flop down on my knees, face on the mat and as soon as I do, I recoil because now I realize that this mat had been yogied around the block a few times too many and was not smelling too good; kind of like an old gym sock. “This is crazy”, I think as I bolt back up and stagger through the poses for the next several repetitions.

We eventually go into a Karate Kid thing, you know, hands up like talons, standing on one leg, the other raised and bent (and I’m trying to stand on one leg, wobbling while raising and lowering my arms like some demented bird). I’m more then a bit stunned when I realize that everyone can do this except me.

Though the rest of the class was a blur, I do recall at the close blissfully lying on my back, eyes closed and grateful that all this was about to end. I talked to Susie after the class, trying to make a graceful exit; her encouraging me to take another class; me answering her but only thinking, “Flee, flee now, get out of there and back home”. And I did, thinking this was the stupidest thing that I had done in a long time. Oddly though, I woke up the next day feeling unusually ‘light’, but with some unusual aches and pains. After too many years of leading a sedentary life, I liked all those aches and pains; as if my ‘being’ was glad that I had made an effort to finally get up and start moving again. I was convinced there was something good to be had from this thing called yoga.

Over the next couple of months, I took a lot of beginner and ‘Into to Yoga’ classes with other studios in the area. Who would have thought that a yogi would need to learn how to sit (Sukasana), how to stand (Tadasana) and even how to lie down (Savasana)! I met some great teachers during this time and was thankful for their encouragement. I was also grateful to have found something that seemed to prevent me from slipping further into that winter’s funk.

I have now approached the first year anniversary of my yoga practice. Within that year, I came to take some comfort when I was faced with things like my daughter’s teenage angst, or recognized my own mortality when I saw how feeble my parents had become or when I sensed another environmental disaster or monetary meltdown always lurking around the next corner or when I heard of another kid shot dead in the District, I knew that at least for a hour or so during a class, I would forget about all that and the other negative life-stuff swirling around me…and how amazing is that!

I questioned myself a lot during that first year with what I could possibly be taking with me from this practice when I was off the mat. I wasn’t sure outside the obvious; a little more balance, a little more strength, a little more flexibility and perhaps a bit of self humor when I find myself laughing as I try to get into all those ridiculous poses. But I know now, when I find myself in yet another stressed out and screwed up situation, I would occasionally hear the collective voices of my teachers saying, as they always do when we are doing all those seemingly impossible twists, bends and binds, “… now breathe…”. And I sometimes remember to do just that, and it makes me a little calmer, if only for a moment or two, which sometimes is just enough. So perhaps that is the best thing that I take from this yoga practice; to simply breathe!

Looking forward I hope that sometime during my next yoga year, I will find myself in that old Karate Kid pose flapping my arms like a “great blue heron flying over the Potomac” and breathing more aware than ever!

October 2005

Tuscany Without Shadows - paint on paper - 18 x 24 inch - 2010

Tuscany With Shadows - paint on paper - 18 x 24 inch - 2010




YogaDawg aka Art Trip painting and thinking of bits for his new satirical art website and snarky art blog

YogaDawg’s Steps to Yoga Stardom

Step 1 - Start by seeking out trendy yoga studios in gentrified areas in either LA or NYC (sorry, but you’ll need to move if you are anywhere else. It’s just not going to happen in Iowa or Kansas). This is where all the rich and beautiful yogis are and who will become your yoga allies. They are the yogis you must befriend and socialize with as you start your ascent to yoga stardom. Of these, you’ll need to figure out who the power yogis are (look for the ones wearing high-end yoga clothes and sporting a Black Manduka yoga mat) and who are new to the game (they are the ones wearing K-Mart crap and practice on pastel colored mats). It is also very important that you figure out who the yoga nut-jobs are (i.e. they’re the ones spouting crackpot yoga theories and think yoga is all spiritual and everything). Unfortunately there are vast amounts of them in the yoga world. Befriend the former, unless one of the latter can get you introduced to one of the former. Remember that the yoga whack-jobs will always lead you astray in your rise to yoga fame.

Step 2 – You will now need to actually learn something about yoga. Have no fear though, as all yoga studios will have books and magazines that you can spy while waiting for a class to begin. No need to invest money for this (in fact your first few classes at most yoga studios will usually be free or nominal in their quest to ‘hook’ you on yoga). Concentrate on books and articles about Iyengar and Ashtanga yoga in particular. The reason for this will become clear in the next step.

Step 3 – With a bit of yoga knowledge under your belt it is now time to chat up the other yogis around you. Always mention Iyengar or Ashtanga in your conversations with them. Do this at every chance possible. Use a flip and tired tone when doing this to suggest you know all about these styles and have practiced them for much longer than you care to remember. Almost all yogis you encounter can relate to one of these as they are the basis of all the other styles out there. Look for their knowing nod of acceptance.

Important Note: Don’t try and add your own opinion of which style is better at this stage; you’ll only confuse things. The important thing to remember for now is that you are trying to win friends, not influence people.

Step 4 – Now is the time to perfect your Yogatude. This is a crucial step in breaking out from the crowd of ordinary yogis.

Step 5 - At this point you should decide what kind of yoga star path you’ll want to take. The two basic avenues are yoga studio owner player or yoga magazine/yoga video player. If you choose the studio owner path, simply go out and buy one. Don’t worry if you’re not certified to teach. You can always hire teachers who are. No one will be the wiser and the beauty is that you won’t have to pay them much anyway. If you have followed the previous steps to satisfaction thus far, you should now be able to ‘steal’ all the cool, tight and trendy yogis from the other studios you hung out with as these yogis will now follow you to your new studio. Your studio will suddenly be THE yoga studio that everyone will want to be seen in.

Note: If you have decided to take the yoga magazine/video path we trust that you have befriended the publisher or editor of a pop-yoga magazine that has offered you opportunities to appear in articles and on the cover. Strive to get into as many articles and covers as possible. Don’t waste too much time actually doing yoga for the covers; save the yoga for the videos.

Step 6 – Needless to say, you will need to develop and protect your public image (this is not the time to be caught catching a smoke in the back of your studio or being drunk while checking in your marks, umm, I mean students). Always remember that your image is what you will live off of going forward. Guard it like a yoga warrior!

Note:  It's okay to be caught doing yoga in the nude.  In fact, some yoga stars have become quite famous doing so.

Step 7 – You are now at the crucial stage in your rise to yoga stardom; the picking of your brand. Bandanas, speedos and hot pants have all been successfully used in the past. A perennial favorite is to appear somewhat exotic. People in the yoga scene love things they don’t understand (keep things mysterious) and we’re not just talking Sanskrit. On the other hand, if you have great hair and/or a great body, you will stand out from the gaggle of other wanna-be yoga stars. Use this to your advantage. Most important though is to make a point of saying that you think yoga transcends the outward appearances of great hair and great bodies while driving home that in fact, you have great hair and a great body.

Step 8 - Cultivate extensive yoga buzz about yourself. As it is impossible for everyone to be everywhere at once, use yoga blogs to your advantage. Comment on those run by snarky yoga bloggers and drop hints about your connections to past yoga stars (and hopefully dead ones so it will be hard to follow up on your claims) and yoga greatness. Banter with these yoga malcontents as you watch your yoga star shoot up proportionately as each of your comments get posted from blog to blog like wildfire.  Also don't forget to establish a Facebook and Twitter account as these are where the vast majority of your new followers will hang out in the cyber world.

Special note: Be extremely cautious about doing this on YogaDawg’s blog. Extreme bouts of schizophrenia and uncontrolled laughter have been reported from pretentious uptight yoga stars who have visited it. There is no exit there for the cunning.

Step 9 - You are now in low yoga star orbit and need to cultivate one additional trait to solidify your yoga image of those around you. Your goal now is to learn to act 'yogic' (that dreamy far away look that will give you an air of authenticity as it will show that you are have transcended your ties to ordinary daily living). Ideally, you will act this way around yoga students, yoga magazine publishers and sport clothing manufacturers who you will be vying to get endorsements from (you are trying to get endorsements at this point, aren’t you?) Be assured that after a while you’ll become so yogic that you'll forget where or who you are most of the time.

Step 10 – Create your own special “thing”. Be assured that there is always a new yoga style to be invented. As much as yoga people like to think they are practicing ancient yoga methods tied to past yoga gurus, a cult of yoga newness flourishes among them (they are all suckers for the latest yoga trend). Be inventive.

Step 11 - Now is the time to take it to the bank by having an impact on the yoga movement itself. Claim your yoga territory by creating a cause or a mission that can easily be tied to your brand using all your PR skills and contacts. Use your new found fame strategically. If it brings you riches, with, say, a rise in endorsements or ads in magazines, start a new trendy yoga foundation with a hip yoga sounding name.

Step12 – That’s it! You did it!! Good work!!! You are a yoga star. You can now om comfortably in your Malibu beach home or Park Avenue apartment.

Om Shanti and don’t forget to send in a monthly donation to the non-profit YogaDawg Foundation.

Extra, Extra, Read All About It: A Naked Rainbeau

Stuff like this might just bring me out of yoga blogging retirement. Besides, I get to scoop YogaDork for once...

From Rainbeau's blog

What's Out, What's In for Yoga, 2010

The Annual YogaDawg What's Out, What's In Yoga List

Yoga Star Hot Scale

(Click on scale to enlarge.)

The YogaDawg Yoga Star Marketing Research Division of the non-profit YogadDawg Foundation tracks how yoga stars have been gaining or receding in influence in the yoga world over the last 12 months (October through October). This highly influential study has become invaluable in the yoga community to plot the yoga stars rise and fall in popularity and their current position relative to each other on an easy to understand color-coded scale.

Analysis

The Yoga Star Scoville Scale registered movement during this period with the dividing line between the top and bottom halves of star popularity continuing to widen. The top spot is now occupied by Swami Ramdev with his “cure for everything” yoga and the purchase of a yoga island off the coast of Scotland. His legions of new followers have propelled him to “Top Yoga Dawg”. The former “Top Yoga Dawg”, Bikram Choudhury meanwhile has slipped down to second place due to a lack of memorable quotes from him or a major scandal during this period. He did however cushion his fall somewhat by snubbing Madonna in her request to him to become her personal yoga trainer.

Most surprising during this period were the actions of three B-list yogis, Tara Stiles, Sadie Nardini and Rainbeau Mars. In a breakout gambit to enter A-list territory, these three yogis decided to take on yoga blogger malcontents by commenting on their posts. Slogging their way into the snarky yoga blogosphere, we found Rainbeau Mars to be a brawler as she duked her way back into the the fray, time and time again, even after seemingly being pummeled by whiny yoga practitioners (quite frankly we thought she would have “floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee”).

Meanwhile Sadie Nardini fought off the bloggers with an intellectual game as she sidestepped and deflected their pointed cynical barbs with mental manipulations, occasional flights of fancy and bouts of ego. Tara Stiles on the other hand seemed content to take on the bloggers by simply shaking her booty at them.

We feel confident that Rainbeau has now entered solid Yoga Star A-List territory while Sadie straddles the A-line/B-line and is too close to call for us. Our bets though are that Sadie will be the break out yogi, joining the A-list sometime next year (along with Saul David Raye who now has a serious dot thing going on and Kathryn Budig who is…well, HOT).

Aligned perfectly in the middle of the Yoga Star Scoville Scale, as has been the case for the last 5 years, is BKS Iyengar, holding solid as a mountain while Shiva Rae continues to move up with her ubiquitous presence in yoga ads, videos and her Yoga Mala strategy (we thought this was brilliant for her brand recognition). The always cheerful Rodney Yee on the other hand has be sinking down the scale due to lack of activity in his video enterprises. What is not clear is if Colleen Saidman is dragging down ‘The Rod’ at this point . We are glad to report that he did manage to slow some of his downward slide with his brilliantly commercial, Gaiam Yoga Club.

The always lovely Seane Corn continues to rise like a purified lotus blossom as she pursues her good works of yoga causes along with her ever present, effervescent personality and the refusal to cut her hair. We are looking forward to all the swag that Seane’s publisher will be sending us with this spot-on analysis of Seane… (hint, hint)…

Sadly, Baron Baptiste continues to sink on the scale and is getting perilously close to the B-listers. We don’t quite understand why this has been happening but think the bandana thing has been played out and continues to be a drag on his inability to rise in rank. With no fresh ideas on the radar from Baron, our bet is that he will slip off the scale altogether sometime towards the end of next year or early 2011.

In contrast, Ana Brett has been shooting up the scale like a rocket, buoyed by her change of hair color (blond), introduction of ‘yoga boots’, the happy enthusiasm of male yoga practitioners and one obsessed fan in rural Georgia.


This study was funded by the non-profit YogaDawg Foundation with a grant from Doga Magazine and money stuffed in brown paper bags delivered by special yogic couriers to YogaDawg Headquarters in Lagos, Nigeria

You too can be an artist

Here's a dude who shows his tripod stand in a gallery as art. See, you too can be an artist (make sure you turn the photo upside down before declaring yourself an artist :)



Richard Jochum



The Video

Why I do Yoga

Because I just want to levitate!

American yoga, custom-made for all

You don't think they are making reference to stuff like this...:) Woof, Woof

Art Buddhas

A collection of Art Buddhas that I found. Too lazy to name the artists but they are kind of fun in a YogaDawg kind of way.

What Really Happens In Savasana

This is really funny because I did a bit on it awhile ago. We were thinking the same thing. Here is their bit:



PS I guess my site is too popular because you all exceeded my bandwidth!!! I will be back up in February. Look for a surprise!!!

And here is mine:

What the Teacher is doing while you are in Savasana

Hip Hop Monk in Japan

via The Worst Horse

Yoga for Dudes

The video has been kicking around the web for awhile but I never saw the actual product.

Yoga, Inc.Online

"Greed, lust, ego and the search for enlightenment all come together in this original, irreverent portrait of spiritualism and capitalism colliding head on."




Thanks to Elephantbeans

Hide the Children

FAIL

Another example of f-list people trying to make money from yoga (from their website).

Vintage Bikram Week - 5

Back in the Day

Vintage Bikram Week - 4

Oh man, not the elephant!!!

Vintage Bikram Week - 3

This is not Bikram but the same crazy yoga stuff...

Vintage Bikram Week - 2

Dig the black outfit yoga lady with Merv Griffin - Yikes

Vintage Bikram Week - 1

Vintage Bikram - What happens when you put a bad of nail, a motorcycle and Bikram together?

Sub Prime Yoga

From my good, good friend Edward Clark of Tripsichore Yoga Funny and political; something we yogis have a hard time with....

The New Shiva Rea

Sarah Tomson Beyer - Woof Woof!!