Sunday, May 11, 2008

YogaDawg Spotted in New Jersey

Barnacle Bill
For Beach Yoga News

YogaDawg, the renegade yogi and yoga fugitive (see Where is YogaDawg ) was recently spotted in Ship Bottom aka Long Beach Island aka In The Middle of No Where aka Where the Fuck Am I, New Jersey.

Allegedly having been caught on video on two separate occasions, it is now suspected that YogaDawg is using a network of yoga studio ‘safe-houses’ that harbors known yoga humorists and yogi satirists. One of the videos, shot from a surveillance camera from the front of the Shore Nuff Diner (not to be confused with the Shore Fine Diner, a block north or the Shore’s Dandy Diner, a block south) , catches a shadowy figure entering a yoga studio in this small New Jersey shore town. When the owner of this yoga studio was confronted by a reporter from the local paper, “The Oh Shore”, about whether this was the wanted fugitive YogaDawg, she replied, “I ain’t talkin”. When pressed that her studio hosted a presentation that very day by Edward Clark (another yoga funny man, yoga master and creator of the brilliant yoga comedy, Kill the Guru), the “Insects”, she replied, “Yea right. What are ya', some kinda' comedian?”

Surveillance camera catches a mysterious figure entering a yoga studo that some claim is the yoga fugitive, Guru YogaDawg

In the meantime, another video has surfaced that shows the same shadowy figure walking the beach earlier in the day which was accidently caught by a vacationer. Coming forward, this vacationer, Joey Banafano, said of the video, “Well, you know I was shooting videos of the babes on the beach when this dude in black walked by and he did this really weird thing. When I showed it to my wife, who does yoga by the way, she said, “My God, I think that's the fugitive YogaDawg and that’s not a weird thing he’s doing, that’s a half sun salute”. She convinced me to turn over the video to the "Organization Against Yoga Slander" who had a ransom on his head for like 5 bucks ;so I turned the video over to them; what am I stupid? Hey, by the way you want to buy a Rolex. Check out these gold chains…”

Is this Guru YogaDawg seen on the beach doing a Sun Salutation?

Background Note: YogaDawg aka Guru YogaDawg aka Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg has established a radical yoga organization called YIPS (Yoga Is Phunny Shit) after his yoga blog was suspended due to complaints by “conservative yoga associations”, yoga stars and Tom Cruise. Previous attempts by YogaDawg to establish a yoga organization, such as his YISVW (Yoga Is So Very Weird), had failed to catch on because, as some yogis have explained, “That organization just wasn’t that funny”.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Yoga News - Where is YogaDawg

Frank Zappato
For Yoga World News Report

The Yoga world is a little grimmer this week with the suspension of the fresh, funny and controversial Yoga blog, “My Third Eye Itches”. A coalition of Yoga organizations, Yoga Stars and even Tom Cruise, has apparently persuaded Yoga blogging interests to suspend operation of the blog. According to the notice posted on “My Third Eye Itches”, Sri Sri Baba Swami GuruYogaDawg, the brains behind the blog, has offended the Yoga establishment with his wry comments, keen observations and patent dismissal of the Yoga-Industrial-Complex.

While some in the Yoga community are citing a “vast conservative Yoga conspiracy”, other are convinced this all stems out of the fact that Tom Cruise masterminded this attempt to silence the YogaDawg blog. It appears that there has been a long time festering wound that continues to be chaffed with each attempt by Mr. Cruise to purchase a YogaDawg t-shirt. Though the two disciples at the non-profit YogaDawg foundation appear incredulous at this suggestion, they nevertheless feel that some sort of feud among serious Yogis has resulted in punitive action against the blog.

Meanwhile, the whereabouts of YogaDawg are unknown. His disappearing has sparked a massive dawg-hunt in the hopes of locating this most elusive and controversial Yoga writer. There have been unsubstantiated reports of YogaDawg being seen wandering among the sadhus in Tibet and being seen with Elvis in a Las Vegas nightclub. YogaDawg’s last confirmed sighting was on Apr 19th. Accompanied by a well known Yoga socialite and blogger, YogaDawg had attended a Kirtan at a Washington, DC Yoga studio. Kirtan master David Newman was seen having a spirited exchange with YogaDawg but refuses to comment on what was discussed.

Several major publications are posing the question, “Where is YogaDawg”?