Wednesday, December 30, 2009

YogaDawgs Gather in the Desert

St. Christopher For Yoga Phenomenon

They come with yoga mats, sticks of incense and pictures of the OM symbol to a stark desert location. Their cameras are at the ready to capture an image of YogaDawg if he should appear in the sky. Under a sunny, cloudless sky, they do yoga asanas and chant in a circle around a huge sand mandala. Even though they hope to see a vision of YogaDawg, they eagerly await Nagual Seer, a 45-year-old ‘yogi’ from Redwood City, California who comes on the 26th of each month to this site--now christened “YogaDawg of the Rock” --and declares whether YogaDawg is in their midst.

Two of the faithful waiting for YogaDawg to appear

On weekends the faithful can number 10,000 or more. On Thursday, the crowd is 1,000 strong. Vendors work the crowd selling malas, incense, CD of yoga stars, the Miracle OM self-opening umbrella branded with pictures of YogaDawg and the most coveted of their wears, time shares in the exclusive YogaDawg Acres, an super high-end ashram catering to the YogaDawg believers.

Some of the YogaDawg believers pracrticing the advanced yoga pose YogaDawgasana

"See, its YogaDawg," says Jennie-ji, 36, cradling her digital camera to show a shot she took just before Seer's arrival. She points to a vaguely dog-shaped smudge of white light. Maybe you could construe it to be the shape of a seated YogaDawg in his traditional pose with cupped hand. While others claim to see YogaDawg from time to time, only Nagual Seer claims to see him with regularity and incredible clarity.

Followers of YogaDawg trying to catch a glimpse of the 'guru'

"YogaDawg always appears around noon, as if he is coming to lunch", Seer explains. "He looks like a big cloud coming from the sky very slowly and then he appears in front of me. I see him very clearly.”

The first photos of the fabled YogaDawg were taken about year ago when Seer, who describes himself as a lone tourist “eco-traveler”, was doing a ‘vision quest’ in the Nevada desert. While ‘meditating’ on the vast wonder of the American desert, he was interrupted by a harmonic melody which he said sounded strangely like a Charlie Parker riff. As he opens his eye he explained, ”I noticed a strange cloud form in from of me. As there were no clouds in the sky, it caught my attention. What flipped me out was that it looked like a dog’s head. Now how weird is that? Anyway, I grabbed my camera and started taking pictures.”

YogaDawg of the Rock

According to Mr. Seer, he came to his ‘vision quest’ one day as he was driving through the desert to do some gambling in Las Vegas. Running low on gas, he stopped at the “Last Gas Before Entering This God Forsaken Desert” service station. As he filled the tank, Nagual Seer, the owner started a conversion explaining that he was a Yanqui shaman. "The dude pointed to a spot in the desert and said that I should go there and sit. Well thinking this guy was nuts or drunk, I kind of brushed him off." Mr. Seer continued, “Well, it was then that this Indian dude gave me two enormous doobies, and pointed to the desert again and said, “you go there and sit.”

“So there I am doing the doobies in the desert when things got really whacked out. All of a sudden there were all these dogs raining from the sky. I knew I must have been trippin'; man, but it looked so freaking real”, he continued. He claimed he had enough presence of mind to snap some photos of the phenomenon.

Photo taken by Nagual Seer showing YogaDawgs materializing in the desert

Another photo by Nagual Seer showing the gathering of the YogaDawgs


A History of YogaDawgs

Though some express skepticism regarding the “YogaDawg phenomenon” citing it as simply mass delusion or hypnosis, scholars of YogaDawg have another explaination. “Visons of YogaDawgs, though rare, are documented thorough out history. Though few have made the connection, this vision does translate in works of art from time to time.”, explained Kelly Spitz, PhD, a leading YogaDawg historian at Yale University. “These appearences seem to coincide in times of great earthly stress.” With the world economy teetering on the brink of a new great depression; home prices collapsing; rising energy demands with the correspondeing greenhouse gas explosion causing global warming and most distressing of all, Sarah Palin arriving on the American bid for Vice President, it is no wonder why this visitiation is happening at this time," ’Ms. Spitz commented.

A leading expert on the art of the YogaDawg, William Reganald Daggoneit, III, a curator at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC walked us through some of the rare but very real depiction of YogaDawgs through history.

Pic 1 Ancient YogaDawgs, coyotes and petroglyphs

Pic 2 The original spinx restored

Pic 3 The Parthenon freize in the British Museum

Pic 4 Gargoyles on Notre Dame

Pic 5 YogaDawg by Vincent Van Gogh

Sunday, December 27, 2009

YogaDawg's Fun Sunday - Fetish Yoga

Oh man, what is this? Between the doll and this dude...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

A Holiday Tale - The Pose

It happened in a Saturday morning yoga class. Exhausted from preparations for the holidays, the yogi was looking forward to a yoga session. During a particular pose, the yogi closed his eyes, felt a calm awareness and was surprised to find he was perfectly aligned (at least in his mind). That had never happened before as he was a novice at yoga.

As he continued to hold the pose, the students around him smiled as they admired his perfect alignment. The teacher stopped teaching the class to study the pose and called other yogis into the studio to show it to them. As word spread, yogis from other studios gathered around to admire it also. All seemed to agree that they had never seen a pose done with such poise.

Those studying the pose suddenly felt themselves became more flexible. They also felt happier; more alive. Wrinkles disappeared; digestion improved; aches and pains were relieved while glass jaws, rope burns, paper cuts, blackheads, spring fever, homesickness, halitosis, corns, bunions, warts, the heebie-jeebies, shyness, unexplained weeping, in-grown toenails and gunshot wounds were all mysteriously cured.

As word of the pose passed from yogi to yogi, it became the number one discussion on yoga blogs and websites. Photos of the pose were scanned, faxed and emailed. It was made into posters and appeared on billboards. It was featured on the six o’clock news. The pose made the cover of Yoga Journal and the magazine renamed itself, “The Pose”, shortly thereafter. Famous yoga stars started making yoga videos, writing yoga books and offering yoga workshops about the pose. The pose began to be referred to as “The Pose”.

Novelists incorporated The Pose into the plots of their books. A famous author penned a pivotal work titled “The Perfect Pose” which went on to become the best selling novel of all time. The novel was made into a movie; the movie was adapted to a one act play; the play was made into a musical which gave way to a major opera called “La Pose”. This made the Italians very happy. Consequently, ancient yoga texts were rewritten to include The Pose. Yoga scholars discussed it in new commentaries on said ancient texts and new scholarly works were written about it.

The Pose enabled people to sleep peacefully through the night (and without snoring), charm cobras, leap buildings in a single bound, acquire untold wealth and speak fluent Sanskrit and Swahili. They also gained the ability to compose complex jazz melodies while walking in the park.

The Pose went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize for physics, a Heisman Trophy, an Oscar for best supporting actress and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor by the President of the United States. A small pacific island nation changed its name to the Island of Pose, (Subsequently becoming the most prosperous nation on the face of the earth by offering workshops and conferences to teach The Pose to yogis around the world).

Endangered species began to reproduce rapidly, rescuing them from extinction. The lamb lay next to the lion and leprechauns were seen riding on unicorns. The sun always shined; the plants were always watered; the dog was always walked; the hole is the ozone was closed and global warming was stopped in it's tracks.

All creatures on the earth sang along to the Music of the Spheres; Gabriel blew his horn and the Sirens chanted Hallelujah! Energy became unlimited and non-polluting; the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse got off their horses to practice The Pose…and…

As the yogi opened his eyes and came out of the pose, he remarked to himself, “I sure wish I was better at this yoga stuff…”

Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year! This is my hope that the future will always be merry and bright!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

YogaDawg's Fun Sunday - Merry Chistmas

All the best to the beautiful yogi and yoginis in holiday cheer!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Christmas Jazz

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all you cool cats!

Man! It's Christmas

Diana Krall "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" (Live)

Milan Svoboda Contraband Jazz Orchestra

Diana Krall "Jingle Bells"

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Holiday Movie Explores Meditation

Segwan Bagg
For Yoga Entertainment Today

In the tradition of 4'33" by John Cage, Empire by Andy Warhol and the White Paintings by Robert Rauschenberg , YogaDawg's Bliss is a quirky 93 minute film that resides at the intersection of Yoga and Art. This crossover film has both yogis and artists raving while Hollywood is scratching its head over the popularity of this hybrid film that combines the yoga experience with a Minimalist art flavor.

This film is being distributed by the independent YogaDawg Productions (See YogaDawg Filmed). "I took the movie to every major studio in Hollywood and every one passed," said YogaDawg, the filmmaker behind Bliss. "Hollywood did not recognize the large size of the yoga movement and so they missed the boat”, he added.

Ms. Chasse, the spokesperson for Universal Films, is not convinced that doors are opening for this type of film. "I’m hearing that the film was a fluke", she said. "I tend to believe that it is only the genius of YogaDawg that made this film a success”.

The film drew gross revenues of more than $53 million; not bad for a film with no action, no dialog and no actors. "Looking a blank screen for an hour and a half is not my idea of entertainment", concluded Ms. Chasse.

Praise for YogaDawgs Bliss:

That film made me even more enlightened…Swami Ramdev

That film made me think. Now I think I really am kind of nuts!…Newly Reincarnated Osho

Best damn 93 minute nap I had in a long time…Earl of San Antonio

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - Prez Obama (Wake up and get us the Public Option - Ad sponsored by YogisForThePublicOption.Org)

I didn't need to think during the whole film. It was wonderful - Sarah Palin

Three scenes from the film Bliss

Monday, December 14, 2009

The YogaDawg Holiday Gift Guide 2009

It's not too late to shop for those last minute Holiday gifts. This selection of unique yoga gifts from the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore is sure to thrill your favorite yogi or enlightened being.

The GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore

The VedicYoga Enlightenator

Plot your time to enlightenment by sporting this handy Enlightenator that also tracks the amount of money you have spent in the pursuit of yoga perfection. It subtracts the cost of yoga classes, yoga clothes, yoga trips, and yoga workshops while showing you the exact year, month, day, hour, and second to enlightenment on its nifty backlit plasma screen. May also be used to track your karmic debt.

The YogaSanskrit Hand-held Translator

This cool device will assist you during those vexing times in yoga class when the teacher slips into Sanskrit babble and you don’t have a clue what she is saying. The YogaSanskrit Hand-held Translator translates Sanskrit to English, and Sanskrit to Dude/Dudette. A must-have for all aspiring yoga students.

The ThermoChakra Thermometer

This innovative device allows you to check out your chakras to see what state they are in. Coupled with the handy Chakra Healing Guide, you can now balance your own chakras, saving your time and money that you previously paid to the local yoga studio. The ThermoChakra thermometer is available in mouth, underarm, and rectal versions.

The YogicHug Video Game

Pits yoga teachers from different schools of yoga against each other as they attempt to out-pose instructors from other schools. You enter as a 200-hr-level certified teacher, and with each level, you advance to the next stage of teacher training. Bonus levels allow you to progress to Yoga Guru, Yoga Star, and even God.

The YogaEnlightenment Video Game
A cross between the ancient yogic art of spiritual discipline and the more modern art of online gaming, watch the Higher Self rack up high scores while ascending to the next level of consciousness in this transcendentally exciting contest between yogis of different schools and styles. With many real-life obstacles to throw off your yoga practice, this game guarantees hours of absorbing play.

The UtteringOm Bracelet

This bracelet will fill you with harmony, peace, and bliss by murmuring an Om every time you move your arm. A lifesaver in yoga class when you are simply too tired to chant Om.

The ShaktiYoga Forehead Thing

Crafted by a group of 50 local artisans and their families on the west coast of Paradise, this beautifully designed ShaktiYoga Forehead Thing will make you feel like a real yogi when you wear one to yoga class or while shopping at the GreatTranscendentaYoga Super Store.

The KarmaYoga Outdoor Grill

Designed to not only cook your food, this one-of-a-kind grill also burns away bad karma from several lifetimes each time you fire it up. With a 1,375,000 BTU's cooking surface, rotisserie backburners made of Buddhic stainless steel and oblong karmic vaporizer panels, this outdoor grill will dissipate any residual karmic ramifications from your cooking adventure. Its NeverFail Electronic Ignition will have you cooking and burning your karma away for lifetimes to come.

The AhimsaYoga Knives Collection

This full set of kitchen knives that don’t cut and cleavers that don’t chop will allow you to better live non-violently. Features exclusive DoNoHarm cutting surfaces that are rust free and maintains it's dull edges longer than most traditional kitchen knives.

The Yoga Partner

Never be without a yoga partner again. This blow-up, life-size yogi or yogini is the perfect yoga companion for your yoga practice. With its durable construction, it can be safely tucked inside your luggage or rolled around your yoga mat for easy transport to your next yoga class. The Yoga Partner is especially designed to lie in Corpse Pose.

The PatanjaliYoga Portable Yoga Studio
Now own your very own yoga studio. A complete collapsible yoga studio, made of 100% recycled cardboard stock with biodegradable cloth hinges that allow you to set up your very own yoga studio in a matter of seconds. The PatanjaliYoga Portable Yoga Studio is designed from the specifications as described in the Yoga Sutras. It includes a Buddha, a mandala, and an Om symbol etched in henna on the surface as well as a view of the Himalayas.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

YogaDawg's Fun Sunday - Meditation

A saint meditating

Heidi meditating

A Buddhist meditating

Three Stooges meditating

Saturday, December 12, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Ha Ha Ha Jazz

The Clever Hamsters Jazz Band

Don't miss the audition at the Clever Hamsters Jazz Band site.

Thanks to Laughing Squid

And if that isn't weird enought, though not jazz, there is this with the Dalai Lama on drums.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Sketch XV

"Great artists are a bit crack-brained" ~ Diderot

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Sketch XIII

"Don’t play everything (or every time); let some things go by. Some music is just imagined. What you don’t play can be more important that what you do." ~ Thelonius Monk

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Sketch XII

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."- Mark Twain,

Monday, December 07, 2009

Sketch XI

"The things that make us weird as kids make us interesting as least that's what I tell myself."

Sunday, December 06, 2009

YogaDawg's Fun Sunday - Cora Wen

Cora posted one of these on my Facebook wall and it cracked me up. If you don't know Cora, she's the real deal. An advanced yogi with a sense of humor. She was a assistant to Judith Hanson Lasater (who founded Yoga Journal and I guess first yoga star) for 17+ years and is a senior teacher. She is also one of the first advanced Restorative Yoga teachers certified through JHL, as well as one of the first Yoga Alliance certified ERYT500.

Enjoy her yoga skills and sense of humor. Thanks Cora for the laugh!

Saturday, December 05, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Eric Alexander

Fun but expensive gig at Smoke. Hung out with my brother here last week and was glad he joined me. This is great jazz and I had a lot of fun!

Eric Alexander on tenor sax, trumpeter Jim Rotondi, trombonist Steve Davis, pianist David Hazeltine, bassist Peter Washington & drummer Joe Farnsworth.

Eric with Harold Mabern - piano, Nat Reeves - Bass and Joe Farnsworth -Drums, recorded by Rudy Van Gelder.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Yoga Addictions Spike

What I like about this YogaDawg thing is getting ideas from other yogis. Recently two yogis wrote me with ideas that reminded me of this piece I did awhile back. Still think it's kind of funny.

Mark Bishop
For EternallyBlissfulYoga Super Magazine

In a disturbing trend, the United Council on Yoga Addictions reports seeing more yoga addictions occurring amongst the middle class. Though the UCYA is at a lose to explain this increase, the story of 38 year old Melissa Jeffers of Sunnyvale, CA, might shed some light on the problem.

Melissa explained her harrowing plunge into yoga addiction this way; "It all started when I saw Rodney Yee on Ophra", she started. "The very next day, I took my first yoga class at the YWCA and before you knew it, I was taking yoga classes in every studio that I could find between LA and San Francisco. My family started to wonder what was happening to me as I was rarely home. Those yoga classes were like crack. I drained the family bank account paying for bulk class passes in all those studios and eventually quit my job because I just wanted to do yoga day and night. Eventually, I blew through our 401k going to yoga conferences and workshops around the country. My husband finally divorced me and took the kids".

And yet Melissa had not hit bottom at that point, as she added, "I knew that I needed to get help when I found myself begging for yoga classes on the streets in Mysore, India. I had gone there because I wanted to take yoga classes with real Indian yogis".

EternallyBlissfulYoga Super Magazine is happy to report that Melissa is on the road to recovery now, staying in a half-way house for recovering yoga addicts. When asked if she has any advice for people to help them avoid the experience she had, she simply said, "Do Pilates"!

Yogi begging for Yoga classes