Wednesday, August 31, 2011

YogaDawg meets YogaBitch

Actually it's true. I went to Suzanne Morrison's reading at Boundless Yoga this Sunday and even thought it was just a quick hello as there were too many people around to really chat, it was still fun to meet her and hear her read. Here is a schedule of her readings. Try to get to see her because she is a lot of fun and will make you laugh...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Extraterrestrials Do Yoga - From the YogaDawg Archives

They'er back!!!

Abdul Momand
For EternallyBlissfulYoga Super Magazine

A farmer walking his wheat field found a simple word in a crop circle that might signal, for the very first time, that yoga is of interest to not only the people of Earth but also to the Extraterrestrial community at large.

This first yoga crop circle appeared in the fertile area of the Becca Valley. The image measures some 640 ft in total length, with the pictogram showing the word, YOGA. Though not perfectly aligned, the word, in the the head-high early wheat plants with its spiral lay of the plants was impressive none the less.

When presented to the founders of famous yoga schools, there seemed to be a common agreement among them, "This is obviously done by an Extraterrestrial force that is new to yoga as the alignment of the letters are a bit shaky." A leading teacher of the Iyengar School said, "If the Extraterrestrials had come to one of our classes, we feel the lettering would have been aligned more properly. We concur that, either the force was new to yoga or studied under one of the other schools of yoga, perhaps Ashtanga."

The photo below seems to indicate that yoga is even more popular then currently believed.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Yoga Morons Pose All Over NYC Subway Car, Make Homeless ‘Joke’

Oh man, I saw this a couple of days ago and wanted to like it. I think if it was just a few yoga poses, it would have been awesome but this comes off kind of douchy...

From Gawker

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Sunday Yoga Funnies - YogaBoy by Chris Panico

An ongoing series of toons by the mighty Chris Panico, an awesome cartoonist and yogi.

Click on toon for detail

more toons can be found here

Friday, August 26, 2011

The Yoga Bitch in DC

The awesome and funny Suzanne Morrison will be at Boundless Yoga in DC on Sunday giving a reading from her new book "Yoga Bitch" (if the hurricane doesn't wash her out to the Potomac). In any event drop by for a few yoga laughs. You may even see a YogaDawg sniffing around.

Fishing with Olga

There is just something about Olga...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Yoga Career (continued) - The Missing Chapter from My Third Eye Itches

Previously on Yoga Career

Stage 2 - Novice – Novices are the hip yoga teacher in the yoga community, both admired and emulated by their students. Their classes are heavily peppered with yoga-speak and Sanskrit while they spout spiritually uplifting but somewhat incomprehensible or confusing theories about yoga. This is understandable as they are drunk with yoga shakti. Novices thrive in second tier yoga studios where they receive a pittance to teach an ever growing following of adoring students. They move frequently from yoga studio to yoga studio endlessly substituting for more established teachers in the hope that they too, one day, will land well paying yoga classes in a top end studio.

Although they are working yogis (though quite removed from the Yoga Stars who live in a separate alternate yogic universe), they fund their yoga passion by living a simple and streamlined lifestyle out of economic necessity. Novices tend to live their lives as modern-day hippies, free spirits dancing to tunes of the transcendental yoga that only they seem to hear clearly. The Novice will eat only out of necessity (but always local, sustainable, eco friendly, free range and shade grown) seemingly nourished by the yoga they love. They literally seem to live on the very prana they breathe. Though always on the edge of financial desolation, the Novice mindfully begins to stake their place in the hierarchical yoga world. Though they know that there is no perfect solution to the economic ‘Yoga Problem’, they will nonetheless manage to manifest enough resources to seek more yoga knowledge by attending advanced yoga workshops and trips to India in search for perfection of the ultimate advanced yoga asana. They have a guarded hope that by doing so; it will bring them closer to the yoga career and ultimate abundance they desire.

Behavioral Identifiers:

- Displays Buddhist sensibility
- Low body mass
- Self-cut hair
- Likes to apply aromatic oils on the feet and forehead of students during Corpse pose
- Silence questions from annoying yoga students by telling them "Everything is illusion”
- Able to make a substandard income from teaching yoga
- Migratory movement among local studios to teach endless substitute classes
- Supplementary income earned from blood banks and drug studies
- Hidden Om tattoo

Virtue: Will

To be continued

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I love the backgrounds on these...

More here

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Saturday, August 20, 2011

I'm with the Bandha

These are some of the funniest yoga t-shirts I've come across. Head over to Yoga Geek to get one and have them laughing in your yoga studio.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The funniest yoga satire ever....really

Oh man, wish I wrote this is satire!

Is Yoga and Tantric Sex Safe for Christians?

"Yoga initially began in ancient India as a way to tenderize barbeque. It is still used by Japanese monks for Kobe beef. It quickly became a religious practice for Buddhists and Hindus as a way of uniting the body and spirit and promoting vegetarianism. Many of the diagrams for the chakra or points of light for the soul use diagrams similar to those used for the butchering of meat from vegetarian animals. This should set off alarms of concern for most Christians considering adding these stretching exercises to their workouts. For those still curious and bent on trying this form, study of the asanas or positions may help avoid the mistake of yoga."

Read the whole thing here

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Yoga Career (continued) - The Missing Chapter from My Third Eye Itches

Previously on Yoga Career

Stage 1 – The Initiate – This is the largest class of teachers within the yoga community and the ones you most likely will run into and befriend at first. They ply their yoga in church basements, local parks, their own apartments or anywhere else where yoga has been reduced to a payless commodity which is euphuistically being sold as “community yoga”. The Initiates do this knowingly and mindfully as they are comforted by the awareness that they are working the age old path of all the yoga teachers that came before them; that as an unpaid yoga instructor. While an Initiate may claim to be working for the soul of yoga itself by taking the practice ‘to the people’, other slightly more financially successful yoga teachers know that they are really pecking for dropping that fall from the ample underbelly of the economic yoga beast.

You will also find the Initiate outside the studio in yoga’s peripheral world: teaching in gyms, in underfunded and rundown community centers for seniors and the indigent or sitting in booths at street fairs and yoga festivals representing high-end yoga studios in exchange for free yoga classes.

While yoga passion motivates the Initiates’ yogic lifestyle, lack of a regular, steady yoga job propels them to engage in extreme networking in the search of a paying yoga student. Meanwhile, as the bills roll in, they can be found practicing deep pranayama as they focus their dristhi on their next visit to another studio in town to beg the owner for a chance to teach a paying class (albeit, a deeply discounted one).

Yet the Initiate is heroic. These impecunious yoga teachers are the ghee that glides the mighty yoga machine along. They are the ones who inspire countless students to realize that there is more to yoga then just a tight yoga butt, a trendy new workout routine or making a fashion statement decked out in high-end yoga outfits. And ironically enough, it is the Initiate that will inspire said yogis to get their teacher training and begin the endless cycle all over again.

Behavioral Identifiers:
- Communicates with students and other Initiate teachers about lofty yoga ideals
- Overzealous smiles and too intimate hugs to students that show up for their classes
- Will be seen tacking leaflet for free classes on telephone poles
- Dreams about hitting the big time by teaching in a high-end spa or famous yoga studios
- Sports well worn yoga clothes
- Will only eat vegetables and gluten-free foods
- Calloused feet

Virtue: Hope

To be continued

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Damn, I forgot to pack something for my yoga vacation...

When I saw this photo I remembered that I forgot to pack something...

photo via RebelPixel

...what was it...I can't seem to remember...hummm...ah yes, now I blowup Yoga Travel Partner from the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore!

"Never be without a yoga partner again. This blow-up, life-size yogi or yogini is the perfect yoga companion for your yoga practice. With its durable construction, it can be safely tucked inside your luggage or rolled around your yoga mat for easy transport to your next yoga class. The Yoga Partner is especially designed to lie in Corpse Pose."
Available only at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore

Monday, August 15, 2011

Even signs do yoga...

via Flickr

And a funny bit from fuckyeahyoga...

Hatha yoga includes meditation and exercises to help you improve flexibility and breathing, decrease stress, and maintain health. Now, let me show you the possible way to yoga for beginners.

Things you’ll need:

1.Yoga Mat


3.relaxation and peace

Step 1: Try to warm up yourself

Step 2: After you warm up, try to relax your feet.

Step 3: Put your feet behind your neck

Step 4: Shout for help

Thank you for practicing with us. Have a yogatastic day!

I think you missed “tight yoga pants” in things you’ll need.

I’m here to help.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Sunday Yoga Funnies - YogaBoy by Chris Panico

An ongoing series of toons by the mighty Chris Panico, an awesome cartoonist and yogi.

Click on toon for detail

For more of YogaBoy toons, go here

Saturday, August 13, 2011

How your cat sees you...

I'm not a cat person by any stretch of the imagination, but this is pretty funny since I once had a girlfriend who took in a feral cat and the cat almost ripped off her face as she was coo-cooing it with her long blond hair which I guess the cat saw as awesome strings....

via cat versus human

Friday, August 12, 2011

There is just something about her...

...that leads me to believe she is ready to become a yoga teacher (see yesterday's post).

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Yoga Career - The Missing Chapter from My Third Eye Itches

If there are heroes in the yoga world, they are the unknown yoga teachers working in small local yoga studios in hometown America. These are the true yoga warriors who work for next to nothing and still manage to spread a smile and a helping hand to yoga students everywhere. This is dedicated to those teachers who show up for class everyday without glitz or pimping for fame to simply teach yoga.

Now that you have gained an awesome amount of yoga knowledge from studying the famous yoga guide, My Third Eye Itches, you are perhaps wondering how you can make a career from your new yoga passion. A quick look at any yoga studio web site will reveal teacher training programs geared towards aspiring yoga careerists such as you. These teacher training programs, known as TTPs, churns out thousands of yoga teachers every month earning 200 hr certificates, 500 watt yoga smiles and high hopes for a yoga career. After spending thousands of dollars for such training and cocooned in the nurturing kula of ambitious, like-minded yogis such as yourself, things could not look brighter as you salivate on the endless possibilities of cashing in on the yoga boom. Unfortunately, it is only after completing your training and having entered the yoga work world for the first time, are you quickly confronted with the ‘yogic wall of truth’; that there are few paying jobs teaching yoga. It is during this time of futile searching that you find yourself teaching for free in donation classes (also known as community classes) in hole-in-the-wall yoga studios (for experience) and church basements (for Seva). It is only after months of payless teaching and the endless quest for that elusive paying yoga job do you realize that the true monetary value of your teaching certificate ain’t worth bupkis.

By entering a TTP, you knew your yoga aspirations and intentions were pure; to teach the One True Yoga to adoring students in various upscale yoga venues and in return, to forge a yoga career and make enough money to support yourself and your fourteen feral cats. Unfortunately, once you are no longer tucked serenely in the protective womb of your yoga teacher training mother-ship (the trendy and expensive yoga studio where you took your training and where you hoped to work one day) at the completion of your TTP are you confronted by the presence of a totally new reality; that yoga is financially indifferent to new yoga teachers. What seemed to have been missing from the training material is the fact that only .00000011% of TTP graduates will manage to make a living from yoga and only after years of bottom feeding in the seemingly bountiful yoga ocean as viewed from the self-serving summit of Yoga Journal.

With yoga studios pumping out more people who teach yoga then people willing to pay to learn yoga, the economic pie begins to look very small indeed. There are simply not enough Yogos (international yoga currency) to go around. As a result, the competition for yoga economic crumbs is brutal and is the unspoken 500 lb Hanuman lurking in the yoga studio system. With studio politics, mindful maneuvering and sheer luck (and often good looks, good hair and youth), those that do manage to survive the relentless competition to rise to top of the yoga teacher food chain will only then get a rare chance for a try at grabbing the golden ring of the Yoga-Industrial-Complex; that of becoming a Yoga Star (those purveyors of endless yoga DVDs, books, workshops, clothing endorsements and the coveted new yoga style named after themselves).

But don’t lose hope at the seemingly impossible task of making a yoga living. Remember, when faced with complete defeat of ever finding a paying yoga teaching position with the resulting deflation of your self-esteem and self-worth, be aware and rest assured that you can always sign up for the 500 hr teacher training program at the hot, new studio down the block. Sometimes, delusions are your best defense.

Now we will examine the stages you will pass through on your journey as a yoga teacher once you get your awesome new teacher training certificate...

To be continued

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

F#@k Yoga

There is so much yoga ranting going on of late and not much of it offering any insight. But this yoga rant is awesome!

"Fuck dogma. Fuck control. Fuck hypocrisy. Fuck confusion. Fuck stupid rules and concepts. Fuck paradox."

"Yoga is about being the essence of an authentic you even just for a few moments. It’s not about the teacher you pay or the clothes you buy, it’s not about the length of your breath or the postures you can “do”. It’s not about what you eat or who you shag (or how skilfully you do that). It’s not about love and light and peace and fucking happiness, at least not the way you think it is."

Read the full rant here

Monday, August 08, 2011

Lady Gaga Loves YogaDawg

Not really, but cracked up to see this in my email...Gaga added me to her Google+ circle...though the real question is if this the real Lady Gaga since there are 4 on Google+

Sunday, August 07, 2011

The Sunday Yoga Funnies - YogaBoy by Chris Panico

An ongoing series of toons by the mighty Chris Panico, an awesome cartoonist and yogi.

Click on toon for detail

For more of YogaBoy toons, go here

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Yoga Sirens on the Beach

Ha ha, my first thought were the Greek mythological sirens luring sailors to their death.

Good article on Sirens

Friday, August 05, 2011

Buddhists liberate lobsters

Now if someone can just teach them lobsters some yoga...

Full story here

...wait, what, is that Bikram trying to teach them lobsters yoga????

Thursday, August 04, 2011

YogaDawg on the Prowl - Thrive Yoga

About a year and a half ago I stopped going to yoga classes due to variety of issues. I recently decided that I needed to get back among the yoga living again (those DVD were just not cutting it anymore). So I’m on the prowl again, dropping into yoga studios with the hope of finding the transcendental truth, blissful humor (and hopefully find the one person who can help my knee). “YogaDawg on the Prowl” is a semi-regular photo record of my yoga wanderings.

Alberto Giacometti. Dog. 1951 (cast 1957) MoMA

Well, it seems I'm up to two days a week now with yoga classes. I can see three days a week, but can't imagine I would ever get to the craziness of my first couple of years of yoga doing classes 5-6 days a week and attending yoga workshops. Where did I find the time...oh yeah, I wasn't doing yoga satire (or painting)...

In any event, the classes here seem YogaDawg partner poses, excessive chanting nor yoga (trance) dancing.

Yoga crazed back in yoga class schedule...the seeds of my yoga satire were planted on a schedule like this!

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Armadebton - House Passes Debt Ceiling Deal...

..and yet this feels very, very bad. At least we didn't default which would have been worse... So Yoga On, Yogis!!!!!

I would have titled this "Atomic Tea Party" myself...

"There is deep disappointment by the American people that at time when the rich are becoming much richer and there are corporations making billions in profits and not paying a nickel in taxes that deficit reduction is taking place on the backs of children and the elderly, the sick and the poor," said Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders.