Little did I realize when I wrote this a few years ago that a yoga festival would establish a two front row VIP section for those willing to cough up some extra cash. I am so ahead of my time...
Become Enlightened!
Buy Yoga Stuff!
Find Inner Bliss!
Attend Workshops with legendary Yogis from the Present and the Past!
Have your Photograph taken with Famous Yoga Stars!
It’s all here at the 1st Annual YogaDawg
Yoga Conference and Yoga Stuff Emporium!
The Non-Profit YogaDawg Organization, through the sponsorship of EternallyBlissfulYoga Super Magazine and the GreatTranscendentalYoga Super Store, is proud to present its 1st Annual YogaDawg Yoga Conference and Yoga Stuff Emporium. Nestled in the confines of beautiful downtown Camden, NJ, the Bates Motel and Conference Center will be the epicenter of Yoga bliss for three full days. Join us in this groundbreaking Yoga conference that promises to have something for every Yogi.
The path to Enlightenment starts as you enter the fabulous Bates hotel!
Experience Bliss as you practice in the Bates Yoga Hall!
Transcend as you meander through the great Yoga Stuff Emporium!
Special workshops include:
Finding and Wearing Cool and Ttrendy Yoga Clothes
Becoming a Yoga Star
Shopping the Yoga Stuff Emporium
Become Famous and Make Money Writing a Yoga Blog
Developing your Yogatude
How to Speak YIP (Yogic Hip)
Become a Yoga Star in your own home town studio by participating in a special Teacher Training session offering full certification for the YogaDawg SuperDuper BlissInducer Yoga Method
Also available for Yoga teachers of all levels, the ever popular, “Yoga Teacher BS Training”.
>Workshops will be led by a heady list of famous Yoga Stars:
Earl of San Antonio
(Owner of Earl's YoGuy Yoga Place and Pistol Packin' Yoga studios)
Silver Ray
(Trance Yoga based on a Western theme – Hi-Ho Silver!!!)
Lip-Gloss Yogini
(The beloved studio owner and blogger now teaching from the transcendental realm)
Rod “The Knee” G
(The ever popular Yoga video star)
MadDawg and his lovely wife HotDawg
(the only two disciples of Guru YogaDawg)
Aye-Yi-Yi Zen-Gar
(Legendary founder of the Nerd School of Yoga)
Stanley Zambowski
(Owner of the famous Stan's Polish Sausage Hut and the Hot Polish Sausage Yoga
Studio; both popular hangouts for students from the University of Pittsburgh)
Ann of the Forest
(The new age Wicca yoga sensation who promises to kick your ass)
If this lineup of Yoga Stars is not enough to entice you to attend this conference, YogaDawg Productions is proud to announce the first series of workshops led by long-gone Yoga, Mediation and Kirtan masters.
Patanjali
A workshop entitled “Yoga, the Way it Was”, demonstrating his famous seated asana as described in his best selling Yoga book, the Yoga Sutras. )
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
A workshop guarenteed to take "you higher in just twenty minutes, twice a day" for $6,584
>Sri Elvis
The highlight of the conference will be a special appearance by the most famous Kirtan performer of the astral realm, Sri Elvis in a special performance Kirtan, “Rocking the Yogic Soul”
Note the fine print : All entities will be channeled by MadDawg along with his lovely wife HotDawg, the two disciples of Guru YogaDawg! This is the opportunity of a lifetime to add these famous Yogis to your Yoga resume!
Unique to this conference is the easy to understand Chakra Pass System that will allow you to choose how close you want to be to the Yoga Stars themselves.
The Red Muladhara (root) Pass: This gets you into the conference hall to ponder what it would be like to actually take a workshop. Of course it will allow you into the Yoga Stuff Emporium. Come on, what did you expect for that money. You know you are being cheap! - $203
The Orange Svadhistana (sacral) Pass: 90th through 125th row. Binoculars available in the Yoga Stuff Emporium for extra cost. - $523
The Yellow Manipura (solar plexus) Pass: 50th to 89 th row. Binoculars provided. - $1,097
The Green Anahata (heart) Pass: 20rd to 49th row. Location where you might actually be able to see the Stars from afar. A possibility that a Yoga Star will give you a verbal instruction for adjustment. Includes an autographed photo. - $2,965
The Blue Vishuddha (throat) Pass: 3rd to 19th row. See and hear the Yoga Star. A possibility of one (1) hands-on adjustment from the Yoga Star teaching the workshop. Includes an autographed photo and DVD of the Yoga Star. - $4,678
The Indigo Ajna (third eye) Pass 2nd Row. At least one (1) guarenteed hands-on adjustment from the Yoga Star teaching the class. Includes a personally autographed photo and DVD of the Yoga Star and includes a voucher worth 10% discount off of all purchases from the Yoga Stuff Emporium. - $8,398
The Gold Sahasrara (crown): First row. At least two (2) adjustments guarenteed from the Yoga Star with a possiblitlty of more if you happen to be a Yoga Hottie! Includes a photo of you and the Yoga Star and a ‘memory relic' of the Star such as a toenail, a strand of hair, or bead of sweat in a specially designed yoga container. Perfect for adding to your yoga studio website to show how close you are to the Yoga Stars- $15,698
NOTE: Please study our handy placement guide below to see where you will be located in the class according to the pass you purchased.
To reserve you space send an international money order for the amounts above to:
YogaDawg Productions
Postal Drop 419
Ebola Okei-Dokei Street
Lagos, NIGERIA
OR
Slip a plain brown envelope containing unmarked Dollars or Euros for the amount above to our lovely registrant, Miss Clio, anytime before or during the conference. (10% discount applied for cash). Please use the back door of the Bates Hotel for this method of payment. Knock 3 times and chant Sat Nam.
Miss Clio awaiting your payment to the 1st Annual YogaDawg Yoga Conference and Yoga Stuff Emporium.
