Scroll Painting II

"The holy grail is to spend less time making the picture than it takes people to look at it." - Banksy

Pigment, photos on paper - 18 x 60 inch

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - New and Old

Obama won't see the Dalai Lama. Well, we'll see just what Jon Stward has to say about that!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Hell No, Dalai
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

This is kind of old and kind of funny...


From Cracked.com

"Yoga is an ancient Indian practice thought to bestow super powers on the practitioner including the ability to stay young, levitate and inspire white people to give you money."

"Yoga teaches one to unify the mind and body, while separating the self from attachments such as dignity."

"Careless practice of yoga can cause painful but diffuse injuries that can only be treated by additional yoga."

"Side effects include hums, mantras and mild chanting."

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Kenny Barron

Caught a great Kenny Barron set at the Kennedy Center. Nothing like seeing a master ply his trade with highly refined craftsmanship. Kiyoshi Kitagawa, bass and Johnathan Blake on drums joined him.






A flavor of the gig from this vid with Kenny Barron, Kiyoshi Kitagawa and Victor Lewis on drums.



Personnel: Kenny Barron (piano); Grady Tate, Gretchen Parlato, Ann Hampton Callaway (vocals); Lionel Loueke (guitar); Steve Wilson (soprano saxophone); Kiyoshi Kitagawa (upright bass); Francisco Mela (drums).

Yoga Magazine Week - Celeb Yogi

The yoga magazine that is too hot to keep exposed in full view. Keep the kiddies away from this one!

To Order:
Send a $1,000 International Money Order (per subscription) to:
YogaDawg Productions
Postal Drop 419
Ebola Okei-Dokei Street
Lagos, NIGERIA

Each subscription will also receive the exclusive "Yoga Stars Gone Wild DVD." All the best cuts of our favorite yoga stars from the their official yoga star videos. This is not your Yoga Journal collection!

Yoga Magazine Week - DOGA

The yoga magazine for your dogi. Needless to say, this is YogaDawg's favorite magazine.

Yoga Magazine Week - EBY

All yoga gossip all the time!

Yoga Magazine Week - VOGA

News Release:

Following the incredible success of the men’s yoga magazine, YQ, YogaDawg Publications announces their new sister yoga magazine, VOGA. Hailed as a "true women's yoga magazine" by critics, VOGA promises more yoga fashion, more yoga ads and less yoga then Yoga Journal.

Yoga Magazine Week - YQ

Men will be able to get a fresh perspective on the yoga world around them by reading YQ, an exciting new magazine which aims to bring the male perspective to yoga.

Covering everything from yoga fashion to yoga flirting, yoga music to yoga studios with its own unique stance, this picture-led publication will transform the way men think about yoga. Read more

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Different Stuff

Oh man, my worse nightmare!



Y'all Yoga



And speaking of Texas, what y'all think of this. Funny in a sad way...


Guns replace yoga at NH peace day protest

And if this is not crazy enough, check out the Montblanc 'Gandhi Pen'

nga

Hot session with Jeremy at the Baltimore Museum of Art









Jeremy Pelt - Trumpet
J.D. Allan - Sax
Danny Grissett - Piano
Dwayne Burno - Bass
Gerald Cleaver - Drums

Ana Brett Week - Multiple Ana

Warhol had Marilyn, YogaDawg has Ana.

Ana Brett Week - Buddha Loves Ana

Buddha takes a Yoga Class with Ana

Ana Brett Week - Not An Ordinary Girl

Indeed not!

Ana Brett Week - The Swami Loves Ana

Ana Brett Week - Everyone loves Ana

YogaDawg loves Ana and can't keep his eyes off her....boots. Them boots are made for Kundalini!

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Something else

The funniest yoga thing this week is Nikki Chau's brilliant Yoga Jargon Generator. I love this!

Of course there is always Stuff White People like. This one is about Doga. This is why you don't see anyone from India in a yoga class...

And speaking of nuts, here's what really goes on in Dahn yoga. My spoof seems tame compared to the real thing. The website doesn't have a link directly to the articles so go to the link below and scroll down about eight articles. I know it's lame, but worth the effort.

Cult? Pyramid Scam? Yoga School?
DAHN Part #2

And if that Dahn stuff doesn't scare you, this will.

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Rosslyn Jazz Festival

Spanish Harlem Orchestra


Frédéric Yonnet

Sketch V

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. ~ Victor Borge

ink on paper - 4 x 8 inch

Sketch III

"I should never have switched from scotch to martinis" - Humphrey Bogart's last words.

ink on paper - 6 x 8 inch

Sketch II

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. - Jack Handey

ink on paper - 6 x 8 inch

YogaDawg's 576th Yoga Meditation

ink on paper - 6 x 8 inch

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Seriously

Bikram continues to conquer the yoga world. Great picture of the yoga 'Don' in his Rolls, shades and Rolex.

Bikram Yoga's New Twists


The always hot Kathryn Budig doing a routine for the characters of True Blood

This is the hot topic of the week. Can You Earn a Living Teaching Yoga? Check out the comments on the YogaDawg Facebook page (you'll need to scroll down since I posted this on Tuesday and Facebook is lame because it won't reference individual posts).

And last but not least is the great recruiting picture that Ashtanga put out in the attempth to recruit male yoga teachers. From YogaDork

Nancy Pelosi Kills the Republicans

A new YogaDawg video

When I saw her reaction to Joe "You Lie" Wison, I thought if only looks could kill.

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Potpourri

CAUTION: Stinky stuff and a creepy yoga dude!



Yum, Yum...Buddha Pears


And last but not least, Katie Couric talks “State Regulation of Yoga Studios”


Watch CBS Videos Online

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Jazz Humor

Jazz Trance



A humor piece regarding jazz. Jazz musicians look to federal budget for bailout support


Horace Silver - Piano
John Webber - Bass
Jimmy Greene - Sax
Willie Jones III - Drums

Joe Wilson (R-SC) offers free t-shirts as apology to the public

Joe Willson is extending his apology for his outburst during the Obama speech to the general public. He wants to make amends by making available a free t-shirt to show that he is sincere in his apology and not just looking to keep his job. If interested in receiving this free t-shirt, send your name and address to:

Joe “Crazy Old Coot” Wilson, (not for long R-SC)
c/o Save the Grand Old Psycho Party
666 Nut Job Lane
Crack Pot, SC 00000

PS Enclose $37.00 in unmarked bills for shipping and handling for your free t-shirt.

Even an idiot can do yoga - Take II

Meet Joe Wilson (R-SC), the newest idiot. Man, just in time because Rush and Sarah were getting boring. (And I always appreciate when I can recycle my old stuff...:)

Dear Barack Obama

Dear President Obama,



When you were elected and promised universal health care, you seemed like this to me.



But you have been coming off more and more like this throughout the whole health care debate:



Mr. President, stand up the anti-health care bullies. Your moment is now and you need to kick health care ass tonight with your speech before congress. Don't mess around.

Your faithful servant,
Guru YogaDawg

PS It okay if you drop the universal yoga access clause that I suggested to you a couple of months ago.

YogaDawg's Advice to an Aspiring Satirist

Occasionally, YogaDawg gets an email from his adoring public with a request to have a piece of their satire posted on the YogaDawg website. Though few have had the talent to have their work posted, YogaDawg is nonetheless very generous in his advice to these aspiring satirical writers.

The following is an example of a piece of satire recently received. Though weak, YogaDawg nonetheless was kind enough to suggest changes to make this a satirical masterpiece.

The Original Piece sent to YogaDawg:

“You disgust me. Where's the love and caring that is is associated with Yoga? I can only believe that you are a failure and cannot stand that a beautiful, articulate, smart woman is a better person than are you. Sarah will do just fine without your garbage but can deal with it if you must belch it out. Now, go stand on your head and get some blood flowing. It may help you get centered and bring a bit of kindness to your heart.”

Advice from YogaDawg on how to write a great piece of satire:

Dear Fan, this was a good attempt at satire but here are some suggestions to help you realize your potential as writer of humor.

1. Always start your letter with a funny and hard hitting salutation. Instead of just going into the letter with something like, “You disgust me”, direct your letter to a specific person. Effective salutations I have used in the past are:
Dear Blowhard
Dear Mr. Big Mouth
Dear Ex-Governor Psycho of Alaska

See how much more funny that is already?

2. Don’t shoot your wad so quick by using an opening sentence such as. “You disgust me”. This is the funniest line in the whole piece, so your bit would benefit by moving it the end. This way you build tension in the piece until you reach this last line which will have the reader ejaculate with spasms of laughter.

3. Since no one will know who you are making reference to when you just mention Sarah, try for context by refering the reader to a relevant piece of news regarding that person. For example use her full name, Sarah Palin and a couple of references such as:

Help Save Sarah's Knees

and

Sarah Palin to Enter Yoga Ashram

4. It was really good how you brought in elements of sheer fantasy in your reference to Sarah Palin by referring to her as “a beautiful, articulate, smart woman .“ That really cracked me up. Bravo ! Good one! Ha-ha-ha…(wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes)…

5. The following lines are pretty weak, “I can only believe that you are a failure” and “Sarah will do just fine without your garbage but can deal with it if you must belch it out.” (though I did think that “belch it out” was pretty descriptive).

Here’s how you can improve this. First assume a persona like perhaps one of those crazy right wing, nut job, screw balls that have been showing up at town hall meetings. You can make believe that you belong to an evil right wing conservative organization such the “Sheridan County Wyoming Republican Women Chapter ”. Now that could be really funny! You can set up the funny bit by saying, “Me and my dang horse don’t like you tree-hugging, incense smelling, om chanting, cross leg sitting, yoga freaks making fun of my gal Sarah!” See how more powerful and funny that is then just “I can only believe that you are a failure?" For added effect you could add some funny pictures of you on your horse…uh, uh, wait, wait, I got a great idea…you could do a graphic something like this. It would be hilarious.

6. “Now, go stand on your head and get some blood flowing” This also is pretty weak and could be funnier. Try using more sarcasm. That might help.

7. Always end your piece with a kicker. Since you assumed a persona of someone clueless living in the middle of nowhere, go for the hysterical. An ending like this would be a great belly laugh:

So fuck you and the yoga mat you flew in on YogaDawg,

Calamity Jane
I Can See Alaska From Here Steet
Right Under Canada Somewhere, Wyoming

Now that’s funny. I hope this was helpful to you in your pursuit of a career as a satirist. Though the pay is low, the rewards are huge. Good luck in your future humourous writing.

Sir Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg

Happy Labor Day - YogaDawg's Garden

Relax..............................

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Fashion Yoga

On the tail (hee-hee) of Tara Stiles booty shot for American Apparel, it appears that AA has taken a nose-dive in its fortunes and had to lay off 1,500 workers (read the comments which are as usual, funny as shit). Not to imply that one lead to the other but interesting that the owner couldn't resist trashing Obama (10% of the US population unemployed and this doushbag is whining about not being able to hire undocumented workers even after getting caught for having nearly 2,000 illegal factory workers in L.A.).

In any event, I think this had more to do with losing its appeal of the hip yoga crowd who have been flocking to buy the new YogaDawg Hipster Yoga Clothing line.

From the YogaDawg Yoga Collection: The new Hipster Yoga Clothing line.

Yoga Hipster in Warrior II pose sporting the fresh new YogaDawg "Williamsburg" yoga outfit

The classic YogaDawg yoga clothing line:

Top to Bottom

Vedic Face Paint
Lotus Joy Premium Yoga Club
Mellow Yellow Chakra Yoga Shirt
Holy Moly Far Out Yoga Bead Set
Mellow Yellow Chakra Yoga Pants

Top to Bottom

Crown Chakra Turban
Vedic Face Paint
The Fall Colors Yoga Towel
The George Harrison Inspired Yoga Shirt
The Fall Colors Yoga Pants
Staff of the Himalyas

The YogaDawg Sadhu Summer Collection

Top to Bottom

Golden Heart Crown
Silver Guru Delux Power Staff
The Amazing Yogi Bead Collection
Prana Star Braclet
Pure Free and Easy Loin Cloth

Top to Bottom

Yogic Beard Extensions
Vedic Brahman Precious Beads
Super Shakti Yogi Loin Cloth
Genuine True Aged Animal Skin Yoga Mat

Note: All of the above items can be found at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore. Mention this web site and receive a 10% discount on all your Yoga purchases.

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Jazz Satire

When I ran across Bill Bill Anschell's jazz humor piece, "Jazz Jam Sessions: A First-Timer's Guide", I thought it was the funniest thing I read in a long time. With jazz having such a serious aura about it, it was great to see someone poking fun at it and breaking through the walls of all that seriousness.

This is Bill’s follow up piece titled “Careers in Jazz”. If you ever wanted to know what you are in for as a jazz musician, read this. It is one of the most brilliant pieces of satire that I have come across.


null


BILL ANSCHELL piano
JEFF JOHNSON bass (2,3,6,7,9,11)
JOHN BISHOP drums (2,3,6,7,9,11)
DOUG MILLER bass (1,4,5,8,10)
JOSE MARTINEZ drums (1,4,5,8,10)
RICHARD COLE tenor and soprano sax (5,9,10)
THOMAS MARRIOTT trumpet and flugelhorn (2,6)

Stop Yuppie Yoga Poster IV

Stop Yuppie Yoga Poster III

Stop Yuppie Yoga Poster II

Stop Yuppie Yoga Poster I

Yoga News - Group to Stop Yuppification of Yoga

For EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine

What started a couple of years ago as a rogue movement of fundamentalist yogis making a stand against the increasing bastardization of yoga, has blossomed into an organized grassroots movement against yoga’s excesses. This movement, comprised of disgruntled yoga practitioners, has solidified with the formation of a group called Stop Yuppie Yoga United Front (SYYUF).


Poster put out by the "Stop Yuppie Yoga United Front" organization

This group of self-styled yoga purists is calling for a return to yoga’s roots; to a time when before the yuppie yogis (according to the group a yuppie yogi is a highly yuppified individual whose main interest in yoga is the fabled “yoga butt”) took it for their pastime. SYYUF feels that yoga has been turned into a circus side show; having been brutalized beyond recognition and had its so-called ‘spiritual heart’ turned into a yuppie play thing. Using tactics similar to other fanatical groups, these yogis have placed manifestos, flyers and posters outside yoga studios, yoga clothing stores and yoga conferences. They also allegedly tacked a treatise written on a pink yoga mat to the doors of a leading high-end yoga studio in New York City


The NYC yoga studio which had the treatise against yuppie yoga attached to its doors recently


Their treatise read:

“The yuppie yogi is a slacker; a pretty girl/boy, shaved, sexed and clothed in high end yoga togs whose soul is void of the yogic spirit. The yuppie yogi is the devil; scrapping and bowing before the cesspool of the Industrial-Yoga-Complex while spouting regurgitated propaganda of unity, happiness and harmony that they found in pop-yoga magazines. These semi-educated yuppies, espouse the simulated experience of yoga “stuff” while their brains are filled with fluff and the repugnant rambling of the scores of clueless yuppie yoga teachers.

"The true yogi is not a nice man or women, concerned only with yoga’s popularity and trendiness. The true yogi shouts unpleasant truths from the mats of countless yoga studios and forces upon the yuppie yogi the ghastly consequences of surrounding their bodies and souls to a narrow minded and timid yoga elite who too long has perverted the concept of yoga.“

"The true yogi does not stand in tadasana in famous yoga studios; nor chant Om among the mindless yuppie yogis participating pop-kirtans, nor pranam before a pimp-celebrity, bobo yoga star. Stop Yuppie Yoga NOW!!



SYYUF feel they are stalwarts for the prevention of further atrocities against yoga perpetrated by the yuppie yoga elite and has been agitating for the disruption of what they call “the celeb-fornication of yoga.” They seem particularly disturbed with the recent trends of yoga-music festivals especially embodied in one such venue called Wanderlust. SYYUF say they want to reestablish yoga for the common yogi and is calling for direct action against mass acceptance of yoga as a false economy for the few smug manipulative yoga elite and their ensuing grip of control over yoga. SYYUF is advocating a boycott against pop-yoga studios and institutions across the land.

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Orgasm Yoga

This style of yoga has now gone mainstream. Nude yoga is so yesterday. I can't help but crack up laughing just thinking about this happening in my Saturday morning yoga class with the teacher saying, "Okay everybody, choose a partner for this next pose".

"Oh, it's the best way to start a Monday," said another woman. "I'll be so much kinder and more present with my co-workers." Now I know what all the kind women are doing before they come to work. Hilarious!!!

The action starts about 2/3 in on the video.


Here's the video link

The ABC News article

The yoga studio One Taste Yoga