Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Yoga Teachers

YogaDawg will now introduce you to your Yoga teachers and explain their personal styles and proclivities. As you learn about Yoga teachers and what they offer, you will be able to wisely choose your classes.

Once you decide on a Yoga teacher and attend your first Yoga class, it is advised that you figure out fairly quickly whether your teacher is nuts or not. This was not much of a concern when Yoga was being practiced, as explained by John Schumacher (minor American Yoga Star) by “hippies, retired little old ladies, weirdos” and people from California as they were easily recognizable from the general public. But now that Yoga has gone mainstream, cuckoo Yoga teachers might now be more difficult to identify. So with that in mind, here are signs that your Yoga teacher might be a wack-job:

Brings their cats to class (or dogs, goldfish or animal crackers as the case may be)might indicate that the Yoga teacher is not all there.

Makes animal noises during poses (barking during Down Dog, cawing during Crow, hissing during Cobra or making gulping sounds during Fish pose) all indicate that the teacher is most likely off their rocker.

Blasts Beethoven’s Ode to Joy during class (or plays Opera and sings along) is an indication that the Yoga teacher may have a screw loose.

Tucks you in before Savasana might indicate that the lights are on but no one is home.

Reads quotes from Timothy Leary’s Psychedelic Experience (or give a peace sign while saying “Peace” at the end of class, or saying things like “groovy” or “far-out” or “right-on”) probably means that the Yoga teacher is trippin'.

Introduces themselves as some variant of a Sanskrit name such as Shanti, Shakti, Om, Freddy-ji, etc,.in place of their birth name such as Sally, Betty, Kim, Fred etc, could indicate that the Yoga teacher is most likely cracked.

Wears a Unitard (Yikes, run for the exits as this teacher will also show one or more of the above signs).

So with that out of the way, let’s examine the types of Yoga teachers that you will run into in your Yoga journey:

Yoga Teacher