MY ITCHY THIRD EYE
"Laugh and all is coming" ~ Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg
Sunday, September 09, 2012
Bye Bye Bloggie - Join me on Facebook
It's time to abandon this blog as there is no compelling reason to continue it. I noticed a drop off of comments and traffic awhile ago and just turned off comments completely a couple of months ago because all the comments were going on my Facebook page. Blogger feels kind of old and rickety and so much like yesterdays news. And all the action these days is on Facebook anyway and with their timeline, it's really more blog like these days.
So visit (and friend) me on Facebook on my YogaDawg Howls page. Also the official YogaDawg website, My Third Eye Itches is still alive for all the archived yoga satire. Most importantly, if you want to add a little bit of class to your home, yoga studio or life, you could always buy a YogaDawg painting...
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Them that's got shall get...Inside and outside the Oasis at the DNC
I can't help but to contrast these two videos that showed up the same day...makes you wonder who needs yoga more. (Seems to take the first video forever to load but well worth the wait for a look into the Arianna Huffingtion/Seane Corn Oasis at the DNC)
Contrast that with this video "Charlotte Homeless Outside DNC Cling To Motels"
And then I think of the Billy Holiday song, "God Bless the Child"
Contrast that with this video "Charlotte Homeless Outside DNC Cling To Motels"
And then I think of the Billy Holiday song, "God Bless the Child"
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
The Emos ® School of Yoga
The Emos run the love child school of yoga. All is well here. I'm okay; you're okay. The world is a box of chocolates, and you can expect a Valentines Day card with each visit. There will be merry, uplifting yoga music along with chanting, laughing, and joyful chatter among teachers and students. You will learn to open your heart, spiral into your Inner Being, and leave the class feeling blissfully in love with the Universe. Hugging the receptionist, teacher, and fellow students are encouraged -- before, during, and after class.
Everyone is happy here, except for the lonely man, who is here because of the Emo ® online dating service. The Emo ® online dating service, www.EmoYogicHeart.com is run by the school. You will get a 10% discount on yoga classes if you sign up for a one-year membership to its online dating service.
In addition to the online dating service, the Emo ® school has a great online store. Here you will find The Heart ® meditation mat, The Heart ® collection of Yoga towels, The Heart ® yoga tote bag, The Heart ® eye bag and the Heart ® nonslip yoga mat kissed with a scent of pomegranate (known as the love fruit). All these items come in cardiac red with a heart motif on each. You can also order The Heart ® key chain, The Heart ® Buddha, and The Heart ® Heart. These also come in cardiac red with a heart motif on them.
You will find many books published through this school from the Heart ® Press. A sampling of titles are: Unlock your Heart, The Open Heart, The Friendly Heart, Getting more out of your Heart, Pimping your Heart, A Path to the Heart, The Clogged Heart, Avoiding Heart Breaks, Don't leave your Heart in San Francisco, and No more Heartburn.
The studios of the Emo ® school have walls that are painted red with a heart motif on them. The lighting will be red and even though the appearance may look a bit like a Texas whorehouse, don't get confused by where you are. Simply look for the red heart-shaped Buddhas and the shimmering neon hearts pulsing on the ceiling.
All poses in the Emo ® school are done with partners. You will be able to choose your own or will be assigned one by the teacher if you are shy. The poses have names like the Side Angle Hug ®, Connected Dogs ®, Kissing Cobras ® and Mating Warriors ®. Expect to clap, cheer, and hug your fellow Yoga student and the teacher after every pose.
TIP: Men, sit by any pretty babes upon entering the studio so you will be partnered up with them when the class begins.
BONUS TIP: Avoid this school if you have any aversions to touching people or if you are prone to psychotic episodes from other people touching you.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The Ultimate Yoga Studio
The ultimate in services await you at the YogaDawg Yoga Studios.
Water divining
Molybdomancy
Aura balancing
Aeromancy
Tarot reading
Trepanation
Sanskrit translation services
Myomancy
Crop circle interpretation
Anthropomancy
Alien abductees counseling
Causimomancy
Ear candling
Speleotherapy
Renal/rectal philology
Empyromancy
Dowsing
Colonic cleansing
Scatoscopy
Craniosacral therapy
Extispicium
Reading Tea Leaves
Tring-ba
Vedic Astrology
Uromancy
Clairvoyance
Geloscopy
Snake handling
Oh, and yoga, but never pranayama, Sanskrit or that pesky meditation stuff
Monday, August 13, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
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