Thursday, September 01, 2011

Yoga Career (continued) - The Missing Chapter from My Third Eye Itches

Previously on Yoga Career

Ascetics – These teachers have discovered that the clearest path to survival in the yoga world is to simply have no need for money. While many yogis teach yoga with little regard for paying students, those who are lucky enough to have an independent source of wealth (i.e., the trust fund yogi, the pampered mate yogi) have the luxury of disregarding students entirely. As a general rule, the wealthier the yoga teacher, the more intellectual perplexing their yoga is and the loftier their rhetoric about yoga freedom and innovation. Many of these teachers practice in their own ‘yoga spaces’ where they are the lone teacher. They are the Yoga Star in their own world. Their students consist of the same four or five people who show up for each class dressed in the same manner of the Ascetic. As the Ascetic finds the whole concept of dealing with money distasteful and unyogic they will, nonetheless, have a donation box sitting prominently in place (though this tends to piss off the “for profit” studios for undercutting their prices). It really doesn’t offend the Ascetic if you donate or not, for it is the lofty goal of ‘pure yoga’ that these teachers believe in and are motivated by.

Ascetics spend their abundant free time thinking about and writing deep philosophical essays on yoga with a special emphasis on their brand of yoga on their own yoga blogs. These writings are then adapted to serve as the dialogue to spout while leading their students in class. The students, knowing almost nothing about yoga, equate the teachers’ impressive discourse with a depth of yoga knowledge. All too frequently though, these same students are horrible confused as the teacher tends to contradicts themselves getting lost in their lofty ramblings about yoga. Uncomfortable with the perception that other less fortunate yoga teachers may view them as a ‘moneyed yogi’, the Ascetic tend to live a non-descript lifestyle that enables them to pass among their less privileged yogis unnoticed and unchallenged.

Behavioral Identifiers:

- Carefully chosen trendy second-hand yoga togs
- Yoga nickname (usually Sanskrit granted from extended trips to India spent in an ashram)
- If questioned about their crack pot views about yoga by a student, they usually say “some illusions are more illusory than others”
- Yoga conference addiction
- Yoga festival addiction
- Yoga cruise addiction
- India ashram addiction
- Multiple subscriptions to trendy yoga magazines

Virtue: Ideals

To be continued