Twisted Tridents of Truth - How Yoga Journal Helped Turn American Yoga Into A Yoga Circus – The Last Ten Years Of Yoga in America
This new book traces the recent history of yoga in America. While other books have explored yoga from its humble beginnings in India (Yoga Body, Singleton) to the beginning of yoga in America (The Subtle Body, Syman), “Twisted Tridents of Truths” recounts the most significant period in yoga history; the period from 2001 to the present. This period coincides with Yoga Journal’s purchase by a media company resulting in the complete hegemony of the contemporary yoga imagery by the magazine and the resulting clownification of the ancient practice. This book explores the real history of contemporary yoga.
From the opening chapter, “Damn Hippies”, this book describes the true birth of popular American postural yoga one rainy morning at Woodstock, NY. The chapter, “La La Yogaland” finds the mass migration of yoga hipsters (yogsters) from across the country to LA where they begin to cash in on the yoga boom. This results in the epic struggle between hippie yoga and hipster yoga as described in the chapter “Yoga Wars”. While the yoga war rages on in yoga blogs, pop yoga magazines and with b-list yoga stars leading the charge against the stalwarts of “that good ole’ time yoga”, the warring factions of yoga unite to fight a common enemy that appeared from the heavens one clear fall morning to threaten all earth bound yogas. With the invasion of yoga practicing aliens and the hybrid yogas that they spawned, the chapter, “Extraterrestrial Yoga”, describes this invasion and the ultimate survival of earth yoga with the mass mutation between alien and earthling yoga. This is the yoga we see being practiced today in hip, new and expensive yoga studios described in the chapter, “American Yoga Circus”.
In this book, you will learn about:
Evil yoga studios
Brain washed yoga zombies
Tantric voodoo sex
Sumo wrestlers in bakasana
Horny guru lovers and the horny gurus who love them
Burned out yoga bloggers and b-list yoga stars who hate them
Tattooed hipster yoga freaks
Reincarnated harpies
Bengal tiger blood
Kombucha
Psychedelic hippie yoga chicks on acid
Origin and short history of the bed of nails
Angry white yuppie yoga hordes
Hippie gods
Sanskrit
Angelic yoga teachers practicing demonic yoga
Alien abducted sacred cows
Toesox
Laughing YogaDawgs
Indian leprechauns
Naked yoginis in partner poses (in artful black and white)
Spontaneous levitations in Saturday morning yoga classes
Deviant yoga gurus
Hot pants wearing guruettes
1969
Yoga gangsters eating sushi off of topless yoginis
The GreatTrancendentalYoga SuperStore
Goji berries
Outsourced Indian holy men
Black market mala beads
Ninja yogis riding unicorns
Yoga douche bags
Koka-Kula
Yoga conference whores
Disappearing elephants
Crying Buddhas
Fake birth certificates by orange men
Mysterious visitors dressed in black speaking Yoglish
Tainted yoga mats from China
Failed rockers finding new careers as kirtan singers (and their loyal yoga groupies)
Smokable cannabis yoga mats
Hairless, yoga studio, pretty boys
Transcended slime mold consciousness
Shitty siddhis
Saint that produces yoga blocks out of thin air (in Baltimore)
Yoga practicing extraterrestrials
American three ring yoga circus
World’s largest chapatti
The truth of the ultimate yogic colon cleanse
and more….
Available NOW in a yoga studio near you and soon to be a major yoga film starring Charlie Sheen, the Two Goddesses and all the Yoga Stars on the planet.
