I just hate it when I miss out on a great title for a post. In this case, This Party Took A Turn From The Douche by Garfunkle and Oates. Not sure which version I like the best but sing along with the remixed yoga lyrics below...
Fair Warning: Strong Language if you insist on clicking in...
We roll into yoga 'cause that's how we do
Shakti, Kali and the rest of the crew
Give a pass to my homegirl and watch that bitch go
She hits up the mat and puts on some flow
Teacher, can you help me with my yoga?
We're oming and groaning and the asanas are flowing
And I'm liking the direction this class is going
But then I look up and something has changed
Everyone in class looks fucking deranged
I look to my left, I look to my right
Nothing but speedos and sweat in sight
With supertight abs and a tight yoga ass
I swear this ain't the place I once took my class
Then the yoga noise starts to play
And the studio smells like x-body spray
I'm like a yogi without a care
Please tell me what the hell happened here
Yo, it ain't asana but you know it's the truth
This yoga just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche
For the motherfuckin' douche
Thought it was a perfect yoga
Now it's just a lot of boga
This yoga just took a turn for the douche
I guess I can't beat em so I'm gonna join 'em
Need some douche phrases and I'm gonna coin 'em
Put my speedo on and I'm on my way
Gonna be a motherfuckin' douchebag today
Gonna groom my beard like a banyan tree
Wax off my chest like Mr. Yogi
Get a Buddhist tat, don't know what it means
But it makes me look deep to yoginis in their teens
Don't need no shirt, even though I’m so hairy
And leave 'em exposed to make me more scary
Fake tan so brown you can call me a Hindu
Lookin good for the slim sexy 'ginis with their bendos.
Got me more props than BKS
More yoga bling than Russell Simmons
And I'm doin the goji 'til my bowels grow boozy
Like a colon cleanse that leaves me woozy
Gettin crunk on kombucha with my brogis
I'm cooler than Baron wearing his bandanis
Doin’ Anusara to a body twist horror
Jivimukti till my mind grows spooky
Yeah, I'll drop a G for that organic hooch
This yoga just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche
For the motherfuckin' douche
Thought it was a perfect yoga
Now it's just a lot of boga
This yoga just took a turn for the douche
We're an horde in the night like yuppie yogis
Movin like the yogis on yoga movies
I'm a VIP 'cause it says so on my pass
I use that class 'cause I got a yoga ass
I like my asana like I like my chai
Doing hot yoga shit like that Bikram guy
Did my last head stand like a circus clown
Feeling like a fool when my bod fell down
I ain't your student but I'll call you teach
Yeah, I get all metaphysical like sands on the beach
I'm holding up the beats like I'm Krishna Das
Girls are on the yoga floor shakin' their hotty hots
I'm cool like the Yee, fly like Patanjali
Checking out the ’gini and her naked belly
Girl's wax is Brazilian, her manicure's French
Patchouli is her signature stench
A dot on her forehead and tats on her ass
As she down dogs in the middle of class
Her ujjai as loud as my intentions to bang her
And I’m so flexible I will make her bod purr
I'm cooler than a cooly cool
That just the sight of me makes her drool
Everyone drowning in ajai juice
This yoga just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche
For the motherfuckin' douche
Thought it was a perfect yoga
Now it's just a lot of boga
This yoga just took a turn for the douche (x2)
Om you, Om you, no Om you, no om you....
The original. Can't decide if I like the original or the highly produced one...
