For EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine
In an exclusive to EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine, a letter from President George Bush to Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg had been made public. Some believe that this is a blatant attempt to rewrite his sordid presidency in light of the incoming administration. Though some believe that nothing will redeem his place in history, others in the yoga community think his association with Guru YogaDawg will lead to, if nothing else, more men in Texas doing yoga.
Dear Mr. YogaDawg,
Now that I am leaving office I want to thank you for your dedication to this country and all that you have taught me about yoga. I was happy to have discovered your awesome newspaper in the stack of tabloids that I read each day and your provocation YQ magazine. How much more information I had gleaned from them then those left-leaning rags, The Washington Post and the New York Times.
I can’t thank you enough for setting up the yoga studio below the bunker in the sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-basement. That was the only thing that saved my sanity in the last few months of my administration. No matter how low my ratings sank or how much people hated me, I took solace there and as you could see, has mellowed me to the point of not giving a rat’s ass about any of that. By gosh, if it wasn’t for yoga, these last few years, it all would have pissed me off so much that I would be ready to invade some unsuspecting country or something. I really appreciated that you didn’t mention any of the yoga stuff to Dick. You know how he gets.
You know how excited I was to receive your It Ain’t Lavender yoga mat. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more for Earl of San Antonio but sometimes a president needs to keep a low profile in certain issues.
In ending, let me say it was my pleasure to be able to assist you in your release from hands of the evil yoga forces that caused the shutdown of your blog. I consider it my greatest achievement in the last eight years to have assisted you in the epoch battle between yoga-good and the decaying aspect of the Yoga Industrial Complex on our world. Who would have thought that members of the YLF (Yoga Liberation Front) were actually comprised of hand-picked persons of my kitchen staff and that they were so effective in getting your yoga blog back online?
In closing let me say that Barney and I will miss you greatly as we leave Washington, DC to go back to Texas. Always remember, our kennel is always open to you and a yoga mat is always rolled out.
Your President.
George W. Bush
PS I talked to Barack the other day about them adopting you for the Obama girls. He looked at me a little strange but I think you may be getting a call from them soon.
