Now that I'm visiting yoga studios again, I remembered this from the yoga guide book, My Third Eye Itches....Once you attend your first yoga class, it is advised that you figure out fairly quickly whether or not your teacher is nuts. This was not much of a concern when yoga was being practiced by hippies, retired little old ladies, weirdos and people from California, as they were easily recognizable from the general public. But now that yoga has gone mainstream, cuckoo yoga teachers are more difficult to identify. So with that in mind, here are signs that your yoga teacher might be a wackjob:
- Brings cats to class (or dogs, goldfish, or animal crackers as the case may be). This might indicate that the yoga teacher is not all there.
- Makes animal noises during poses, for example, barking during Down Dog, cawing during Crow, hissing during Cobra, or making gulping sounds during Fish Pose. These all indicate that the teacher is most likely off her rocker.
- Blasts Beethoven’s Ode to Joy during class or plays Opera and sings along. This is an indication that the yoga teacher may have a screw loose.
- Snores during Savasana (or makes any other weird sounds). This might indicate that the lights are on but no one is home.
- Reads quotes from Timothy Leary’s The Psychedelic Experience. Gives a peace sign while saying “peace” at the end of class, or says things like “groovy,” “far-out,” or “right-on.” This probably means that the yoga teacher is trippin'.
- Introduces themselves as some variant of a Sanskrit name, such as Shanti, Shakti, Om, Freddy-ji, etc., in place of their birth name, such as Sally, Betty, Kim, Fred, etc. This indicates that the yoga teacher is most likely cracked.
- Lacks a sense of humor. Run for the exits, as this teacher will also show one or more of the above signs.
