Occasionally, YogaDawg gets an email from his adoring public with a request to have a piece of their satire posted on the YogaDawg website. Though few have had the talent to have their work posted, YogaDawg is nonetheless very generous in his advice to these aspiring satirical writers.
The following is an example of a piece of satire recently received. Though weak, YogaDawg nonetheless was kind enough to suggest changes to make this a satirical masterpiece.
The Original Piece sent to YogaDawg:
“You disgust me. Where's the love and caring that is is associated with Yoga? I can only believe that you are a failure and cannot stand that a beautiful, articulate, smart woman is a better person than are you. Sarah will do just fine without your garbage but can deal with it if you must belch it out. Now, go stand on your head and get some blood flowing. It may help you get centered and bring a bit of kindness to your heart.”
Advice from YogaDawg on how to write a great piece of satire:
Dear Fan, this was a good attempt at satire but here are some suggestions to help you realize your potential as writer of humor.
1. Always start your letter with a funny and hard hitting salutation. Instead of just going into the letter with something like, “You disgust me”, direct your letter to a specific person. Effective salutations I have used in the past are:
Dear Blowhard
Dear Mr. Big Mouth
Dear Ex-Governor Psycho of Alaska
See how much more funny that is already?
2. Don’t shoot your wad so quick by using an opening sentence such as. “You disgust me”. This is the funniest line in the whole piece, so your bit would benefit by moving it the end. This way you build tension in the piece until you reach this last line which will have the reader ejaculate with spasms of laughter.
3. Since no one will know who you are making reference to when you just mention Sarah, try for context by refering the reader to a relevant piece of news regarding that person. For example use her full name, Sarah Palin and a couple of references such as:
and
Sarah Palin to Enter Yoga Ashram4. It was really good how you brought in elements of sheer fantasy in your reference to Sarah Palin by referring to her as “a beautiful, articulate, smart woman .“ That really cracked me up. Bravo ! Good one! Ha-ha-ha…(wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes)…
5. The following lines are pretty weak, “I can only believe that you are a failure” and “Sarah will do just fine without your garbage but can deal with it if you must belch it out.” (though I did think that “belch it out” was pretty descriptive).
Here’s how you can improve this. First assume a persona like perhaps one of those crazy right wing, nut job, screw balls that have been showing up at town hall meetings. You can make believe that you belong to an evil right wing conservative organization such the “Sheridan County Wyoming Republican Women Chapter ”. Now that could be really funny! You can set up the funny bit by saying, “Me and my dang horse don’t like you tree-hugging, incense smelling, om chanting, cross leg sitting, yoga freaks making fun of my gal Sarah!” See how more powerful and funny that is then just “I can only believe that you are a failure?" For added effect you could add some funny pictures of you on your horse…uh, uh, wait, wait, I got a great idea…you could do a graphic something like this. It would be hilarious.
6. “Now, go stand on your head and get some blood flowing” This also is pretty weak and could be funnier. Try using more sarcasm. That might help.
7. Always end your piece with a kicker. Since you assumed a persona of someone clueless living in the middle of nowhere, go for the hysterical. An ending like this would be a great belly laugh:
So fuck you and the yoga mat you flew in on YogaDawg,
Calamity Jane
I Can See Alaska From Here Steet
Right Under Canada Somewhere, Wyoming
Now that’s funny. I hope this was helpful to you in your pursuit of a career as a satirist. Though the pay is low, the rewards are huge. Good luck in your future humourous writing.
Sir Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg
