Thursday, December 13, 2007

Yoga Students - The Eye

The Eye is at class not to do Yoga, but to lurk and leer. They will have read somewhere, most likely on the Internet that Yoga classes have lots of hot babes in them. In addition to that, Yoga looks kind of easy. Not like that Pilate class the Eye went to because he heard there are lots of hot babes in it. The Eye is a collector of EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine because he digs the Yoga babes on the cover and especially in the ads. He is not sure what this Yoga is about since he doesn't read the articles but he sure loves the pictures.

You will recognize the Eye by his tacky, lounge-lizard clothes; Yoga Cargo shorts with the button down, synthetic Yoga shirt from K-Mart. He will throw his mat down haphazardly and will reek of cheap cologne. The Eye will try to make small talk with the receptionist, if female; the students, if female; the teacher, if female. He will attempt to touch you if you are female. Rebuffed by all, he will lie down on his mat like he is at the beach. His water bottle will have mixture of vodka and white lightning. He will be drinking from this copiously. The Eye’s eyes will start to wander. They will check out the Yoga student babes and the Yoga teacher babe. He will think that this is even better then looking at the ads and cover of EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine. As the Eye eyes wander even more, he will become unsteady, a bit dizzy and possibly even fall over. He will be reaching for his water bottle frequently during class.

Inner Dialog: Dig this!! She's hot! Whoa, look at that one…dig those shorts… hot! Ooh no, check this one out to my left…I dig that shirt she's wearing, she's hot! Dear Lord, look at the ass on that one over there, I think I'm in love (was that a dirty look she just gave me)? Oh man, oh man, oh man, check out the knockers on that one. Damn hard to concentrate on this Yoga stuff...Wait, wait, is the teacher trying to get my attention??? Yes, yes she is, damn she's a babe…she's hot! She is saying something to me...roll up my mat?...she is asking to follow her out of the class...Damn she is so impressed with my Yogic abilities that she thinks I'm hot and wants to give me a private lesson. I love this Yoga stuff...wait, is that the door out of the studio she's showing me to??? She is opening door...wait, wait what do you mean never come back here again? Hey, do I get my money back...