When in course of a yoga class it becomes necessary for yogis to dissolve the yoga style which have connected them with another and to assume among the yogis, the separate and equal asana to which the Laws of Yoga and Yoga Oms entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of all yogis requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation and independence from former Yoga Styles.
We hold these Yoga Truths to be self-evident, that all yogis are created equal, that they are endowed by God with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Yoga Freedom, Laughter and the pursuit of Yoga Humor. — That to secure these rights, Yoga Styles are instituted among yogis, deriving their just siddhis from the practice of Yoga, — That whenever any Style of Yoga becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Yogis to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Yoga Styles or declare independence from Yoga Styles altogether, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its asanas in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their correct alignment and resulting transcendence. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Yoga Styles long established should not be changed for fame, fortune or photo shots in Yoga Magazines; and accordingly all experience hath shown that yogis are more disposed to suffer declaring it quite unyogic to complain, while evil teachers are sufferable than to align themselves by abolishing the Yoga Styles to which they are accustomed. But when a long history of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Yoga Workshop evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Yoga Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Yoga Styles, and to provide new yogas for their future sanity and bliss. — Such has been the patient and yogic sufferance of too many yogis; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Style of Yoga. The history of yoga is a history of repeated injuries, ego manipulation and power tripping, all having in direct relationship to the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these yoga styles.
We, therefore, the representatives of the United Yoga States of Transcendence post this appeal to the Supreme Liberator of Yoga for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good yogis of all the Yogas, solemnly publish and declare, that these United Yoga States of Transcendence are, and of right ought to be free and independent yogis; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the Tired Old Yogas and their Yoga Stars, and that all economic connection between them and those Yogas, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent yogis, they have full power to laugh while chanting, contemplate peace, contact bliss, establish transcendence, and to do all other asanas and pranayamas which independent Yogic Transcendental States may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Yoga, we mutually pledge to each other our Oms, our mats and our Down Dogs.
Signed,
The Independent Patriots of Yoga Freedom (you know who you are)
