Nothair Not-There
For Yoga Siddhi Today
A small Yoga studio in Seattle was shaken when during a Saturday morning Yoga class, a Yoga teacher her students at the studio discovered that a bronze Buddha statue looked as if it had been crying. The statue, bought from Pier 1 Imports and placed on a window sill of the Yoga studio, sheds drops of moisture from its eyes that puddles in a pool of liquid at the base of the statue.
"At first, I thought there was a hole in the roof and rain was dripping on the statue”, explained Jenny Satcrest, "but the more I looked, the more it appeared like the Buddha was truly crying. What’s really crazy about this is that it only happens during Yoga classes!" Confirmed by several Yoga students at the studio, the statue "cries" faster or slower depending on what postures the class is doing. "The harder the pose, the more it seems to weep and it stops completely when either we sit in silence or are in Corpse pose", explained Ms. Satcreat "I’ve experimented with that statue and can really get it weeping if I announce to the class that we are going to do partner poses or do some chanting. Then I notice that there is a torrent of tears coming from the statue. It’s almost as if the statue has taken on a personality of likes and dislikes of certain poses and wonder if it is channeling the chi of my students."
This story gets even stranger as to the explanation of what the tears are made of. Ms. Satcreat swears it is the sweetened green chai that’s sold in Starbucks. When asked how she came to conclude that the tears were composed of this, she said, "Well, after mopping up time after time, I finally had the nerve to dip my finger in the liquid, smell and taste it. It blew my mind what it turned out to be!" When asked how she could be so sure that it is green chai, Ms. Satcreat said she stops by the local Starbucks everyday for her green tea fix and said she can identify the taste anywhere.
Others aren’t so taken with the crying Buddha though. When a rival Yoga studio was asked about this, the owner replied, "Well, I won’t be impressed until that Buddha starts dispensing Frozen Orange Crème, Triple Shot Espresso, soy blended Frappuccinos with whipped cream on the top."
Meanwhile, Starbucks is losing no time with a new marketing campaign incorporating Buddha with the slogans, "Forget non-attachment. I want my Starbuck Chai!" and "What would Buddha drink?"