Om Sweet Om - The Videos - Part II

If you can get through the credits, this pretty good....

Om Sweet Om - The Videos

If you can get past the credits, this is pretty good. Why does this remind me of John Friend?

What if God was one of us...

More at Shockblast

And of course the soundtrack from Joan Osborne

On Meditation And Taking A Sh*t . . . .

Meditation is like taking a sh*t; it’s personal.

Meditation is like taking a sh*t; no one else can do it for you.

Meditating is like taking a sh*t; though it’s natural, you may have to train yourself to get the urge.

Meditation is like taking a sh*t; people who like to talk about how they do it all the time are often annoying to others.

Meditation is like taking a sh*t; some people like to light incense while they do it.

Meditating is like taking a sh*t; you can do it anywhere but some places are better than others.

Meditation is like taking a sh*t; you can force it, but it’s more effective when you relax and let go.

Meditation is like taking a sh*t; no matter how much you do it, you’re never really done.

Mediation is like taking a sh*t; if you take it too seriously, you’ve missed the whole point.

~ by Nicholas Payton

Bikram Quotes - Updated

He doesn't get better than this. New quotes from his visit to Dublin. From the Mail Online

In the meantime read his older zingers below:

I drive my car down Highway 10, to Palm Springs, then I take a left turn, onto Highway 15, towards Las Vegas, and when I am past Death Valley, in sixth gear, and the engine is producing 750hp and the speed­ometer is going from 380 to 400kph, then you are driving a Lamborghini! That’s called life, you idiot!

Reagan was so stupid. It was amazing this man could ever be president. He said to me, “What’s wrong, Bikram: 33 years and she never listens to me, my Patti? She hates her father so much she doesn’t call herself Patti Reagan but Patti Davis, her mother’s name?” I said, “Mr President, you raised her a bitch. I’m a guru, I make her a human being, I make her a woman, I make her a daughter, I make her a girl, I make her a lady.”

I’m not dressed like a guru am I? I dress like a gangster. Like Robert De Niro. I am more westernised than any western man you have ever met.

Don't get married. Don’t even take a chance. If you make water like this and get married, your marriage will not last three weeks. You should not learn yoga, learn how to cook! You know why women get divorced in America? Why you guys get divorced in the western world and, in India, no divorce? From 10 years old, mothers teach their daughters how to cook. You are the lousiest cooks in the world.

Did you pay to come here and listen to me? Wow! I am lucky. I go shopping tomorrow!

An Iyengar class looks like a Santa Monica sex shop with all those props.

They make so many stupid things in America.

I'm in show biz. I entertain people. Why do you want to pay money to go to a hot room and torture yourself?

We are a totally fucked up society.

What happens when they say they will commit suicide unless you sleep with them? What am I supposed to do? Sometimes having an affair is the only way to save someone’s life.

What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter?

The whole Bikram class is one big brainwashing session.

I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each.

Nobody fucks with me.

‎Nothing bothers me,I'm bullet proof, waterproof, wind proof, money proof, sex proof, emotion proof, stress proof, strength proof.

Indian yogi's are old-fashioned, conservative, prejudicial people. You have to look like yogi, talk like yogi, have a beard like yogi.

America’s biggest problem is too much freedom.

Western people can’t meditate. In India people really can’t meditate either.

When in Rome, I must do as the Romans do. When in America, copyright and trademark.

I'm feeling sleepy, because I haven't gone shopping for a long time.... I haven't bought a car for two years—no, I bought a car last month, the fancy new Chrysler.

I should be the most honored man in your country.

Don't throw up on the carpet. It's new.

Why are your legs spread? Women should not spread their legs any time, anywhere! Only in emergencies.

Downward Facing Dog? That’s not yoga. That’s American circus.

I control my kingdom like a gangster. It’s the only way it works. In America your biggest problem is you have a second choice. So you have an abuse of choices and too much freedom. It’s like a loaded gun in a kid’s hand

How many Rolls-Royce do I own? I don’t know. 35? I give every staff member of mine a car, something like a Jeep Cherokee. I have 17 vans.

I'm a product of Beverly Hills

American Yoga teachers are clowns. Circus clowns. They completely fucked yoga. They crucified hatha yoga in America. There is no yoga called kundalini, power, vinyasa, dog yoga.

Who the fuck is this YogaDawg? He's the only guru in America besides me who is not a joke.

White Hat Don: I should be the most honored man in your country.

Black Hat Don: Nobody fucks with me.

YogaDawg Don: Hi

Hero, Villain, Yeti: Tibet in Comics - Rubin Museum of Art

The Rubin Museum of Art’s Hero, Villain, Yeti: Tibet in Comics is presenting over 50 comics related to Tibet dating back to the 1940s.








Hero, Villain, Yeti: Tibet in Comics is showing at the Rubin Museum of Art (150 West 17th Street, Chelsea, Mahattan) through June 11, 2012.


Reviewed at Hyperallergic

Color, Color Everywhere....

Indian villagers smear themselves with colours during the Lathmar Holi festival at the Nandji Temple in Nandgaon, some 120 kms from New Delhi, on March 3, 2012.







More at HuffPost

Yoga Madness - The Video

"The new owner of this studio is not a kindred spirit"!

When Miles Met YogaDawg - A Conversation

Miles Davis with Guru YogaDawg - circa 1960-61 - Found in box 365 of the Thaddeus “Dig Dat" Hornsworth Jazz Archives housed in the Smithsonian Institution.

Photograph courtesy of the Non-profit YogaDawg Foundation with research funding from the Jazz is American Kirtan Charitable Trust.

The following is a transcript of an overheard conversation between Miles Davis and YogaDawg Howls.

Miles - "Bop"
YogaDawg - "Om"

Miles - "Be bop a do"
YogaDawg - "Om man padi hum"

Miles - "Hot mama"
YogaDawg - "Jai ma"

Miles - "Cool"
YogaDawg - "Far out"

Miles - "Gotcha"
YogaDawg - "Damn, you're good!"

Miles - "Yeah, but Dawg, couldn't you have said that in 16 down dogs instead of 32?" (Note: a jazz joke....)

Music from Miles From India And yes, this is what you should be playing in American yoga classes; music by master American jazz masters and Indian master musicians.



Artists: Taufiq Qureshi, Selva Ganesh, Louiz Banks, Ron Carter, Ndugu Chancler, Sridhar Parthasarthy, Chick Corea

12 Steps to Yoga Stardom - From the YogaDawg Archives

Step 1 - Begin by seeking out trendy yoga studios in gentrified areas in either LA or NYC (sorry, but you’ll need to move if you are anywhere else. It’s just not going to happen in Iowa or Kansas). This is where all the rich and beautiful yogis are and who will become your yoga allies. They are the yogis you must befriend and socialize with as you start your ascent to yoga stardom. Of these, you’ll need to figure out who the power yogis are (look for the ones wearing high-end yoga clothes and sporting a Black Manduka yoga mat) and who are new to the game (They are the ones wearing K-Mart crap and practice on pastel colored mats). Most important though, you must figure out who the yoga nut-jobs are (ie they’re the ones spouting crackpot yoga theories and think yoga is all spiritual and everything). Unfortunately there are vast amounts of them in the yoga world. Befriend the former, unless one of the latter can get you introduced to one of the latter. Remember that nut-cases will always lead you astray in your rise to yoga fame.

Step 2 – You will now actually need to learn something about yoga. Have no fear though, as all yoga studios will have books and magazines that you can spy while waiting for a class to begin. No need to invest money for this (in fact your first few classes at most yoga studios will usually be free or nominal in their quest to ‘hook’ you on yoga). Concentrate on books and articles about Iyengar and Ashtanga yoga in particular. The reason for this will become clear in the next step.

Step 3 – With a bit of yoga knowledge under your belt it is now time to chat up the other yogis around you. Always mention Iyengar or Ashtanga to them at every chance possible. Use a nebulous and tired tone when doing so to suggest you know all about these styles and have practiced them for much longer than you care to remember. Almost all yogis you encounter can relate to one of these as they are the basis of all the other styles out there. Look for their knowing nod of acceptance.

Important Note: Don’t try and add your own opinion of which style is better at this stage; you’ll only confuse things. The important thing to remember for now is that you are trying to win friends, not influence people.

Step 4 – Now is the time to perfect your Yogatude. This is a crucial step in breaking out from the crowd of ordinary yogis. In addition, it is important that you always stay positive and smiling. Even though this yoga star stuff is hard work, it is important to remember that in the yoga world you are always yes, never no.

Step 5 - At this point you should decide what kind of yoga star path you’ll want to take. The two basic avenues are yoga studio owner player or yoga magazine/yoga video player. If you choose the studio owner path, simply go out and buy one. Don’t worry if you’re not certified to teach. You can always hire teachers who are. No one will be the wiser and the beauty is that you won’t have to pay them much anyway. If you have followed the previous steps to satisfaction thus far, you should now be able to ‘steal’ all the cool, tight and trendy yogis from the other studios you hung out with as these yogis will now follow you to your new studio. Your studio will suddenly be THE yoga studio that everyone will want to be seen in.

Note: If you have decided to take the yoga magazine/video path we trust that you have befriended the publisher or editor of a hot yoga magazine that has offered you opportunities to appear in articles and on the cover. Strive to get into as many articles and covers as possible. Don’t waste too much time actually doing yoga. There are yogis who have built their whole careers doing this. In any event save the yoga for the videos.

Step 6 – Needless to say, you will need to develop and protect your public image (this is not the time to be caught catching a smoke in the back of your studio or being drunk while checking in your marks, umm, I mean students). Always remember that your image is what you will live off of going forward. Guard it like a yoga warrior!

Step 7 – You are now at the crucial stage in your rise to yoga stardom; the picking of your brand. Bandanas, speedos and hot pants have all been successfully used in the past. A perennial favorite is to appear somewhat exotic. People in the yoga scene love things they don’t understand (keep things mysterious) and we’re not just talking Sanskrit. On the other hand, if you have great hair and/or a great body, you will stand out from the gaggle of other wanna-be yoga stars. Use this to your advantage. Most important though is to make a point of saying that you think yoga transcends the outward appearances of great hair and great bodies while driving home that in fact, you have great hair and a great body.

Step 8 - Cultivate extensive yoga buzz about yourself. It’s impossible for everyone to be everywhere at once so use yoga blogs to your advantage. Comment on those run by snarky yoga bloggers and drop hints about your connections to past yoga stars (and hopefully dead ones so it will be hard to follow up on your claims) and yoga greatness. Banter with these yoga malcontents as you watch your yoga star shoot up proportionately as each of your comments get posted from blog to blog like wildfire.

Special note: Be extremely cautious about doing this on YogaDawg’s blog. Extreme bouts of schizophrenia and uncontrolled laughter have been reported from pretentious uptight yoga stars who have visited it. There is no exit here for the cunning.

Step 9 - You are now in low yoga star orbit and need to cultivate one additional trait to solidify your yoga image of those around you. Your goal now is to learn to act spacey (giving you an air of authenticity as it will show that you are have transcended your ties to ordinary daily living). Ideally, you will act this way around yoga students, yoga magazine publishers and sport cloths manufacturers who you will be vying to get endorsements from (you are trying to get endorsements at this point, aren’t you?) Be assured that after a while you’ll become so spacey that you won’t need to act any more..

Step 10 – Create your own special “thing”. Be assured that there is always an angle to be worked, a yoga style to be invented. As much as yoga people like to think they are practicing ancient yoga methods tied to past yoga gurus, a cult of yoga newness flourishes among them (they are all suckers for the latest yoga trend). Invention counts.

Step 11 - Now is the time to take things a step further by having an impact on the yoga movement itself. Claim your yoga territory by creating a cause or a mission that can easily be used to further your brand with the right PR slant. Use your new found fame strategically. If it brings you riches, with, say, a rise in endorsements or ads in magazines, start a new trendy yoga foundation with a hip yoga sounding name.

Step 12 – That’s it! You did it!! Congrats! You are a yoga star. You can now om comfortably in your Malibu beach home or Park Avenue apartment. Om Shanti and don’t forget to send in a monthly donation to the non-profit YogaDawg Foundation.

This post is about...

Yoga Madness

Click on graphic for more detail

The Next Yoga Journal Cover Dawg

The essay: How Does yogs Inspire You?

Since practicing yoga, I found that I became more flexible, felt happier; more alive. My wrinkles disappeared and my digestion improved while all my aches and pains were relieved. Yoga cured my glass jaw, rope burns, paper cuts, blackheads, spring fever, homesickness, halitosis, corns, bunions, the heebie-jeebies, shyness, unexplained weeping, in-grown toenails, dipsomania, werewolf syndrome, Saturday night palsy and gunshot wounds. I also found that I was able to sleep peacefully through the night, without snoring, on a bed of nails.

As if that wasn't enough, yoga inspired me when I realized that it had it led me to the knowledge of how to charm cobras, leap tall buildings in a single bound, walk through walls, speak fluent Sanskrit and Swahili, cluck like a chicken and walk like an Egyptian. It also gave the ability to compose complex jazz melodies while riding on a unicorn in the park under pink rainbows while it rains glitter.

I continue to be inspired by yoga, when with complete perspicacity during a yoga class, I heard a Mariachi band playing the Music of the Spheres; Gabriel blowing his horn and the Sirens chanting hallelujah! With that, I found that I was able to get endangered species to reproduce rapidly, rescuing them from extinction; made the sun always shine; the plants were always watered; the dog was always walked (and fed and); bald head sprouting hair under tin foil hats and was able to close the hole is the ozone while making energy unlimited and non-polluting.

But perhaps the most important thing how yoga inspired me was when I got the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to get off their horses to do a few down dogs after changing into more fashionable Lululemons for a few yoga laughs.

Tantric Sex Seminar

The Life of Buddha - From the Freer and Sackler Galleries

Visit the Freer and Sackler Galleries when in DC

The Yoga Mongrel - On the path to liberation in the age of the impending Yogapocalypse

The YogaDawg Interview - The Yoga Mongrel

By MIMI ONTHEBEACH

YogaDawg seems to be living the dog’s life since shutting down his famous yoga blog. His two assistants tease him about trying to wake early one day and look for a job. That YogaDawg, the inventor of the SuperDuper Bliss Inducer Super Bok Choy™ style of yoga has only two assistants is in itself significant. There is a popular image that many yogis have; that American yoga has gone to the dogs. They cite yoga stars with their commercial endorsements and hot advertising photos; who live in swank pads in the Yogatopia strongholds of Los Angeles and New York City and who, through their vast yoga organizations and studios, employs numerous assistants, employees and teachers while paying them practically nothing. Not YogaDawg. He found that if you call your assistants, disciples, you don’t have to pay them anything.

On a recent dog day of summer, this elusive and controversial yoga guru agreed to shed some light on the working of the mysterious nature of his yoga and his popularity. He agreed to meet a reporter at his home in a city which was to remain unidentified as one of the conditions for granting the interview.

The day of the interview, the yoga guru answered the door wearing a cap worn backwards, coupled with a black shirt and pants and sporting a pair of Karachi sandals. His appearance was much different than his official photo that can be found on the internet. Though his complexion is a bit furry; his hat is cool, the black shirt loose and hip, and he spoke with a bit of a Scooby Doo lint. With his long nose and ears, he looked a bit doggish.

YogaDawg's un-guru like appearance

YogaDawg’s one room ‘home’, located in a flop house in the skid row section of the city, is crammed with boxes of YogaDawg t-shirts, samples of yoga products sent by what he calls, “the Yoga Industrial Complex” for endorsements along with numerous cans of Alpo. It felt cramped, claustrophobic and chaotic perhaps reflecting those attributes of this yoga star’s own life.

I spent several hours with YogaDawg during this interview and when YogaDawg wasn’t sitting or dosing off, he was at his computer hoping for an elusive t-shirt sale or leaving snarky comments on yoga blogs. “YogaDawg can usually stop a serious blog discussion in its track by one of his ridiculous comments or inane views on yoga” says Roseanne Harvey of the It’s All Yoga, Baby blog. “It’s gotten worse now that he has abandoned his own yoga blog”, she adds. “If you see him, tell him all the yoga bloggers want him to get a life or do Pilates or something.”

When not giving dog and pony shows of his SuperDuper BlissInducer Super Bok Choy™ method, he is at home keeping tabs on all the ancillary businesses he has created; his YogaDawg publishing ventures (he maintains an absurdly popular website as well as the ever popular My Third Eye Itches yoga guide book); his YogaDawg yoga-gear business (YogaDawg has his own line of t-shirts,) and Studio Dawggy, (a new venture he is trying to find investors cash as the only yoga-school offering his method of yoga). In his downtime, he updates his Facebook page.

YogaDawg, looking dog tired, settled himself on a chair before a rickety kitchen table to begin the interview. His assistants (disciples), a man named MadDawg along with his lovely wife HotDawg, paw around offering water and what looked like really disgusting dog biscuits. YogaDawg claimed it was “some kind of health food from India”. YogaDawg rubbed his eyes, licks his chops with his long tongue and abandoned attempts to stifle yawns. It’s tiring being a famous yogi. YogaDawg, who claims to be 100 years old according to his bio, seems like one pooped pooch. But once he starts talking about his SuperDuper BlissInducer Super Bok Choy™ yoga, his energy returns, his eyes open wide and he occasionally lets out a spirited woof. You almost expect him to fly out the window on a magic yoga mat.

HotDawg and MadDawg, the two disciples of YogaDawg

I didn’t know the extent of what others call “the cult of YogaDawg” before the interview. And was surprised to find that YogaDawg was being referred to as the George Carlin of the yoga world (though others have compared him to Stan Laurel or even Sacha Baron Cohen) by his many fans. Not all yogis, though, hold YogaDawg in such high esteem. “He’s not going make fun of my yoga video empire again, is he?” asked a famous yoga star who wished to remain anonymous“. “It kills me that Yoga Journal voted his blog one of the best yoga blogs last year. Pleeeaaaz…next thing you know they will start calling him the next yoga stud muffin,” he added.

YogaDawg’s yoga is based on ancient yoga postures he claims he discovered in an ancient and mysterious dog-eared yoga manuscript that was written on banana leaves in India. He said he found the manuscript in the basement of the main branch of the Baltimore Library but which has since been eaten by hungry water bugs. When asked how the Indian manuscript ended up in Baltimore he simply replied, “Pirates”.

YogaDawg explains his unique yoga

“It is the nature of celebrity to attract adoring crowds to a yoga star like YogaDawg,” says Stella Sloborski, the author of “The Dog’s Down Dog,” a new history of dog yoga in American. “Also, he’s kind of cute and yoga people just want to pat him.”

Certainly the fan emails I asked to see bore that idea out: “Your website is awesome, man. I don't remember ever laughing this hard with tears streaming down my cheeks and snot pouring out of my nose,” wrote one student. “You are the Joel Mchale/Soup of yoga,” wrote another. Still another wrote “You are a Satyr disguised as a dog, YogaDawg, that is. A satirist looking right and left to Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart then over his shoulders to Andy Kaufman and Lenny Bruce. Bottom line, You are genius”. (One sign that YogaDawg has reached rock-star yogi status: men and women press doggie treats into his hands at workshops.)

YogaDawg exposes his yoga ideas online via his yoga website and tells a version of his life story from which he never deviates: Born Tahyo Fideaux in New Orleans, he was abandoned to a band of roaming exiled bohemian intellectuals, opium addicts, booze hounds and harlots. His life reads like some fictional character in a canine caper, only this caper is more in the nature of who let the dogs out, yoga style.

Some examples are telling: In his search for the famous Jnana yogi, Krishnamurti, he ends up in Indiana instead of India where he works as a carnie in a circus for several years. He eventually made it to India and ran into several unnamed yoga masters and starts to pen his pivotal work, My Third Eye Itches. He abandons his tome to return to the states to study with the first American yoga star, Richard Hittleman. Subsequently, he gets involved in the New York Abstract Expression art scene and, becomes addicted to drugs and alcohol as begins work on his great conceptual art masterpiece, YogaDawg Howls.


Unfortunately, the work was too advanced for the time and was panned in the art press. YogaDawg suffered a complete mental breakdown and was hospitalized shortly thereafter. “That was some fucked up shit’, he explained.

YogaDawg distraught over the memory of his breakdown

After several years in the Bellevue hospital in New York City, he got well enough to venture back to India to hook up with the Beatles at Maharishi Mahesh Yogis’ ashram. On the way there, YogaDawg holed up in a cave “because it was raining cats and dogs and I needed some shelter”. He ended up living in that cave for 30 years. He explained that with the help of the neighboring hermits and sadhus, he perfected and advanced the method of his SuperDuper BlissInducer Super Bok Choy™ yoga. After being given the name Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru Yogadawg by these neighboring holy people, he returned to the U.S. to spread his yoga method. “Doggoneit, I miss those crazy naked sadhus,” he lamented. (Full bio here)

YogaDawg demonstrates his yoga method

As the interview wore on, the temperature became too hot to continue it in the little room (he has neither air conditioning nor even a fan), we decided to break it off and let sleeping dogs lie for the moment. Yogadawg suggested we walk to a neighborhood tavern to cool off.

While walking there, I asked YogaDawg if he had any regrets about his yoga path. He gave a surprising answer, “Just one really. I just regret that Baron Baptiste won’t befriend me on Facebook,” he reflected sadly. “God knows I reached out to him several times. He really didn’t take those cracks about being caught without his bandana and flying serious, did he?” (Our calls to Mr. Baptiste for comment were not returned). I looked over to see a sad puppy dog look on his face as he bowed his head towards the pavement ahead. YogaDawg seemed to be deeply hurt by this.

Reaching our destination with our dogs killing us from the long trek, we entered the bar (really just a dive). Seeing YogaDawg walk in, the bartender gave YogaDawg the stink eye. With a hostile vibe, the barkeep was about to say something when YogaDawg interrupted him by saying something quite yogic and profound, “Breathe, she’s paying.” It seems YogaDawg knows how to dispense his yoga wisdom even off the yoga mat. Suddenly like a vinyasa, the beer flowed and everyone was toasting YogaDawg (all on my tab)

As we left the bar I asked YogaDawg one last question whose answer I hoped might shed the most light on where YogaDawg was headed next with his yoga and consequently where the yoga scene was headed: “So what are your plans for the future”? YogaDawg, in a classic tail that wags the dog answer replied, “I’m going to check out the yoga butts and half-naked hotties in Yoga Journal.” I told him I was surprised that such an advance yogi would read Yoga Journal to which he replied, "I only study the ads and the cover, the rest of it is so much yoga drivel." He paused for a second, looked me up and down and then asked “By the way, are you into naked yoga?”

Mad TV Yoga

This should go with the Mad Yoga cover....

My Guru Makes The Cover

Go Alfred E. Yogi!

New Yoga Gossip Tabloid Hits Yoga Studios Worldwide

"All the yoga gossip that bends yogis out of shape"

(click on graphic for better detail)



Everyone loves to read Yoga Enquirer...

Yoga Man

The latest in yoga satire....great stuff!

Yoga Man from Rob Lambert on Vimeo.