MY ITCHY THIRD EYE

OM, Inc - Part 6 - 10

2012-01-29T01:13:00.000-08:00

The latest parts...so great!!!

OM, Inc - Part 1- 5

2012-01-28T01:39:00.000-08:00

This is brilliant, funny and so professionally done...I'm loving each part!

My Third Eye Itches is hiring interns

2012-01-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

My Third Eye Itches, the premiere yoga website and prime leader in online yoga consciousness and retrocognition, is looking for interns with bicoastal and bipolar tendencies, who will work in various capacities to help maintain the MTEI website and blog on it's march to Universal Yoga Dawgnation.

In this internship, you will learn how to manipulate and exploit social media as well as becoming familiar with advanced internet techniques such as blog stalking, website scrubbing, phishing, spamming, phone cramming and Nigerian 419 programs (it is useful if you are able to speak and understand Nigerian as you will be in constant contact with other hard working interns at our world headquarters in Lagos, Nigeria).

Daily duties will include: gleaning sexually themed yoga images and content from other sites and blogs to repost on the MTEI website as well as writing sarcastic and caustic replies to comments left by readers on the MTEI blog. Other duties will include packing and shipping t-shirts as well as opening Alpo cans at various times throughout the day.

A key responsibility of this internship will be to deflect calls and inquires from various law firms, law enforcement agencies and individuals regarding charges against My Third Eye Itches for plagiarism, fraud, copyright violations and questionable (and possibly illegal) content.

Though we rely primarily on the use of computers for most of our operations, any previous knowledge and use of clandestine drop points, pack-dogs, carrier pigeons, trained seals, dancing monkeys or unicorn riding leprechauns is highly desirable. Special consideration will be given to interns with generous trust funds and whose parents can contribute financially to My Third Eye Itches. Though the ability to speak and write proper English is not required for this internship, you will be given top priority if you are fluent in New Age, are able to communicate with extraterrestrials, can tame poltergeists or are clairvoyant.

By the end of this internship you will be proficient in excessive exaggerations, far-out fumblings, freaky fantasies and an extended ego. Even though our interns are unpaid, they have been known to go on to promising careers as circus performers and carnival barkers. Perks of this internship include:

1. Sampling swag from dog food companies
2. A daily séance with deceased yoga masters
3. Nude partner yoga sessions with those who have previously shown up on corporate videos for high end yoga spas

Note: An advanced degree in a martial art is helpful in navigating the neighborhood where the MTEI office is located.

Send cover letter and application with an international money order for $123.99 US (for processing) to:

YogaDawg Productions
Postal Drop 419
Ebola Okei-Dokei Street
Lagos, NIGERIA

Our beautiful offices in Camden, NJ

Find your work potential in our light and airy work spaces

You will be in constant contact with our world headquarters.

No, no, no...please don't make me do it...oh god...I think I just posted it....

2012-01-25T01:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, everyone in the yoga world has posted this, so f' it...But I did want to make you aware of Michael Stusser's previous yoga writing that I previewed before... so here it is and make sure you click on the links below to check out his yoga writing.

The yoga writing of Michael Stusser (I'm experiencing bandwidth overload on the YogaDawg site at the moment, but keep checking in)

Thanks to YogaDork for finding

It was a very good couple of days in DC if you dig jazz...

2012-01-24T01:21:00.000-08:00

First up at the Bohemian Caverns, Jimmy Cobb's birthday bash gig with pianist George Cabels, Tenor saxophonist Javon Jackson and bassist John Webber.

More about the Cobb gig from the Washington Post

And if that wasn't awesome in itself, Bradford Marsalis and Joey Calderazzo showed up in a duo at a local community college. Paul Carr also sat in for the last piece...jazz doesn't get any better then this!

Even Seagulls Love Yoga - A YogaDawg Photoshop Thing

2012-01-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

T-Rex Hates Chaturanga Meme

2012-01-21T01:05:00.000-08:00

How funny is this, that I found a funny graphic and modified the text and little did I realize that it would go somewhat viral on Facebook in the yoga community...Ha ha ha

Don't Post That Video

2012-01-20T01:51:00.000-08:00

When that, which will continue to be unnamed 'yoga' video hit recently, I refused to post it because I found it exploitative of the yoga community.

I posted this on Facebook: "Classic, textbook advertising strategy designed to get maximum eyeballs and yammering from the target audience to impress a brand name on brains. Brilliantly staged and executed by the advertising agency to get a huge ROI. They knew exactly what they were doing and how the yoga community would play into their end game to get exposure for the ad for free."

To me this had nothing to do with all the chatter about the sex and art of it, but rather the exploitation of the yoga community by an advertiser. In any event, I was glad to see a couple of other bloggers thinking along these lines.

News Flash: It's an ad people from Bending over Backward

Nude yoga advertising: breaking the cycle from It's all yoga baby

Let the advertisers pay for placement of their ads.

Feel free to download and post the graphic if you see fit.

PS Yes, I'm guilty of this in the past but one can only try to move past their viral video obsessions...:)

I Am A Yogi

2012-01-19T01:00:00.000-08:00

Click on graphic for detail (or click here for best resolution)

Thanks to Roseanne at It's All Yoga Baby for the grammar lesson and the edits

This is Art, This is an Ad, This is Satire

2012-01-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

Yogi Laser - An Entertaining Yogi

2012-01-16T01:45:00.000-08:00

A couple of short videos on this amazing yogi/contortionist.

Shit New Age Girls Say

2012-01-14T06:20:00.000-08:00

Perfect...Ha ha ha!

The Dawg Knows....Friday Class

2012-01-13T01:55:00.000-08:00

The Dawg Knows....

2012-01-12T01:10:00.000-08:00

Yoga Mean Girls

2012-01-11T09:22:00.001-08:00

Boooooo.....

The Yoga Hurt Continues

2012-01-10T01:25:00.000-08:00

The yoga community seems to have entered into a world of hurt with this New York Times article and the endless yoga blog posts regarding it so it was no surprised when I got a heads up from a PR firm regarding a new article in New York Magazine.

"David Regelin draws his dark eyebrows together into an expression of concentrated disdain. The eight students before him are obediently bent over, ankle to thigh, like a flock of Lululemon-clad flamingos, but the instructor does not like what he sees. “A lot of you think you’re good at yoga,” he proclaims. “You’ve worked hard, and you can get into cool-looking postures. But you shouldn’t be coming to yoga class to perform,” he continues, dropping to a squat before a red-faced middle-aged guy and nudging the man’s earthbound foot forward. “You shouldn’t be coming to exercise, or to get muscles like mine,” he adds, pressing his hands onto the floor to flex his tattooed and indeed impressive biceps. “If what you want is to show off, then this class is probably not for you. If what you want is a fitness class, then this class is not for you.”

Regelin isn’t a yoga purist. He’s one of a growing number of people suggesting that amateur yogis may be doing more harm to their bodies than good.

Ha ha, read on

Just some things from the Freer and Sackler Galleries

2012-01-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

It was a beautiful day in DC yesterday and had an urge to walk around the Mall. Of course since the Freer was there, I thought I'd drop in....

Go to their website

Yoga Truth In Advertising

2012-01-06T03:32:00.001-08:00

Teachers were tearing apart this infographic on Facebook, so I thought it needed the YogaDawg treatment. Here is the real low down on yoga teachers according to REAL yoga teachers.

Click on graphic for detail OR click here for best detail

The Pose

2012-01-04T01:39:00.000-08:00

Reposted as a tale of hope for 2012...

It happened in a Saturday morning yoga class. Exhausted from preparations for the holidays, the yogi was looking forward to a yoga session. During a particular pose, the yogi closed his eyes, felt a calm awareness and was surprised to find he was perfectly aligned (at least in his mind). That had never happened before as he was a novice at yoga.

As he continued to hold the pose, the students around him smiled as they admired his perfect alignment. The teacher stopped teaching the class to study the pose and called other yogis into the studio to show it to them. As word spread, yogis from other studios gathered around to admire it also. All seemed to agree that they had never seen a pose done with such poise.

Those studying the pose suddenly felt themselves became more flexible. They also felt happier; more alive. Wrinkles disappeared; digestion improved; aches and pains were relieved while glass jaws, rope burns, paper cuts, blackheads, spring fever, homesickness, halitosis, corns, bunions, warts, the heebie-jeebies, shyness, unexplained weeping, in-grown toenails and gunshot wounds were all mysteriously cured.

As word of the pose passed from yogi to yogi, it became the number one discussion on yoga blogs and websites. Photos of the pose were scanned, faxed and emailed. It was made into posters and appeared on billboards. It was featured on the six o’clock news. The pose made the cover of Yoga Journal and the magazine renamed itself, “The Pose”, shortly thereafter. Famous yoga stars started making yoga videos, writing yoga books and offering yoga workshops about the pose. The pose began to be referred to as “The Pose”.

Novelists incorporated The Pose into the plots of their books. A famous author penned a pivotal work titled “The Perfect Pose” which went on to become the best selling novel of all time. The novel was made into a movie; the movie was adapted to a one act play; the play was made into a musical which gave way to a major opera called “La Pose”. This made the Italians very happy. Consequently, ancient yoga texts were rewritten to include The Pose. Yoga scholars discussed it in new commentaries on said ancient texts and new scholarly works were written about it.

The Pose enabled people to sleep peacefully through the night (and without snoring), charm cobras, leap buildings in a single bound, acquire untold wealth and speak fluent Sanskrit and Swahili. They also gained the ability to compose complex jazz melodies while walking in the park.

The Pose went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize for physics, a Heisman Trophy, an Oscar for best supporting actress and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor by the President of the United States. A small pacific island nation changed its name to the Island of Pose, (Subsequently becoming the most prosperous nation on the face of the earth by offering workshops and conferences to teach The Pose to yogis around the world).

Endangered species began to reproduce rapidly, rescuing them from extinction. The lamb lay next to the lion and leprechauns were seen riding on unicorns. The sun always shined; the plants were always watered; the dog was always walked; the hole is the ozone was closed and global warming was stopped in it's tracks.

All creatures on the earth sang along to the Music of the Spheres; Gabriel blew his horn and the Sirens chanted Hallelujah! Energy became unlimited and non-polluting; the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse got off their horses to practice The Pose…and…

As the yogi opened his eyes and came out of the pose, he remarked to himself, “I sure wish I was better at this yoga stuff…”

Yoga Phone

2012-01-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes phones have all the fun...

Shit Yogis Say - The Video

2011-12-31T01:54:00.000-08:00

It was only a matter of time before someone put this together. Glad it is so well done...

Yoga Douche - From The YogaDawg Archives

2011-12-29T05:35:00.000-08:00

I saw this photo and thought of my old piece on students. This is a photo that should have gone with the Spoiler.

The Spoiler

You will recognize this student by their top of the line yoga mat, name brand spandex yoga shorts with matching yoga tee shirt and Om symbol purchased from the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. Though not a yoga teacher, they are, none the less, sufficiently above the level of the classes that they are taking. You will find them mostly in beginner yoga classes. The Spoiler will walk into the classroom with a swagger, pose and preen, maybe even letting out a bored sigh as they set up their mat. They will always set up in front of the class, directly in line with the teacher. This is a strategic move as it offers maximum visibility for the other students. If the Spoiler gets there too late and sees that their prime space has been taken, they will usually turn around and go home. For fun, try to get to class early where there is a known Spoiler and take their prime spot. It was been known for them to walk around in circles confused to where they will set up.

The Spoiler will begin doing yoga poses before the class even starts. This is a favorite ploy of their's as they will try to strike up a sense superiority early on. Once the class starts, the Spoiler will adapt advanced postures secure in the knowledge that the other students are mere beginners. There will be an occasional smile on their face as they think to themselves, "Damn, I'm good. Look at the rest of these losers." The Spoiler will know the Sanskrit names of the poses and may even try speaking Hindi to the teacher. The Spoiler might even continue doing poses while the teacher is explaining something to the class or while the rest of the students are resting in Child Pose. They take great pride in demoralizing the other students in the class.

Inner Dialog: Damn I'm good. Look at me go. I am the greatest. Check out all the students looking at me. They know I am the greatest. Watch me do this pose while everyone else is in Child pose. I'll get the teacher's attention now. Hot dog, she's looking at me. I'm bitchin' today. Ah, screw it that everyone else is doing a forward bend, check out my headstand everybody. Damn, I'm the greatest...

Read about the other yoga students at My Third Eye Itches - A Yoga Guide

Down Dog - The Film (funny)

2011-12-28T01:50:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha...made in 2005 according to the maker. Very well done!!!

down dog from rich roll on Vimeo.

The Yoga Night Before Christmas

2011-12-23T02:13:00.000-08:00

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the shala

No creatures were stirring, not even Dalai Lama.

The gongs were all hung by the Buddha with care,

In hopes that Patanjali soon would be there.

The yogis were nestled all snug on their mats,

While visions of bliss were dancing like brats.

And teacher in lulus, and I in my speedo (all natural, eco friendly, shade grown and totally organic),

Had just settled our breath for a long winter’s savasana.

When out of our consciousness there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my mat to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I floated like a guru,

Tore open the shutters and exclaimed WHAHOO!

For the moon on the breast looked like new-fallen karma

And gave the lustre of mid-day to an odd looking Krishna.

When, with my wondering ears, I heard wicked sitars

Played on a magic yoga mat by eight tiny yoga stars.

With a little old yogi, all smothered in ghee,

I knew in a moment it must be Pantajali.

More rapid than prana his students they came,

As he chanted, and called them each by name!

"Now John! now, Ramdev! now, Saul and Bikram!

On, Rainbeau! On, Baron! on, Tara and Kathryn!

To the top of the shala! to the top of the hall!

Now levitate! Levitate! Levitate all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

What sounded like yogis aligning each little foot.

As I drew my head in, and was turning around,

When out from the Buddha he came with a bound.

He was all naked from his foot to his head,

And his body all tarnished with the ash of the dead.

A bundle of props he had flung on his back,

And he looked so complete, just opening his pack.

His eyes-focused on dristi! his gaze inwardly found

His forehead had a image, his face was dark brown!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the hair on his head so white as it grow.

The stump of some bhang he held tight in his teeth,

The smoke encircled his head like a mala beneath.

With face painted neat, he held a trident of gold

Munched on some Gogi berries and laughed ho, ho ho!

He was slim, calm and sexy, a righteous old sadhu,

As I laughed when I thought, I’m not even Hindu!

A wink from his third eye and help from his dearies,

He soon gave me lessons how to accomplish the Ashtanga 5th series.

He spoke not a word, but went straight through vinyassa,

And rang all the gongs, as he soon left mi casa.

And laying his finger aside of his third eye,

Into the Buddha he went as he said bye bye!

He sprang up on his mat, and to his stars he said Om,

And away they all flew heading for another yoga home.

But I heard him exclaim, as they flew out in asana,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-savasana!"

How Different Age Groups Celebrate Christmas

2011-12-22T01:48:00.000-08:00

Go to Oatmeal for the complete graphics

Your Christmas Tree Is Trying To Kill You

2011-12-20T15:39:00.001-08:00

Oh wait that was the neti pot...in any event, your Christmas tree might be making you miserable. Maybe that's what makes people crazy at all those family gatherings.

"The team analysed clippings from 28 Christmas trees including needles and bark, from a range of species, and found 53 cases of mould. Of these, 70 per cent can cause symptoms including itchy noses, watery eyes, coughing, shortness of breath, chest pains, sinus congestion, feelings of fatigue and problems sleeping. Some of the mould identified can even lead to long term lung problems and conditions such as bronchitis and pneumonia."

Full article from The Telegraph

The Days of Christmas, the Lo way

2011-12-20T02:06:00.000-08:00

If you haven't checked out the lastest posts from the funniest and most creative yoga blogger out there, STOP NOW and do so immediately. This is true Christmas cheer......Y is for Yogini

Seven bendy yoginis.......

Five yoga props.....

Four singing bowls....

How much is your yoga worth

2011-12-19T16:09:00.000-08:00

Still teaching for the love of it? This is kind of a Third Eye opener for those involved.

"For salary standards, first we tapped Ava Taylor, the founder of YAMA Talent, the first-ever yoga talent agency. Taylor’s stable of super-established and highly credentialed yogis earn anywhere from $40K to $400K. While the salary range is huge, “most yoga teachers in New York can expect to make $35K or $40K,” Taylor says. “Even if you become a really popular instructor, with 50 people in your class regularly.”

From the Well and Good, NYC

Yoga Girls - The Remix

2011-12-19T04:16:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...funny and not in a funny way!

Yoga for Tomatoes

2011-12-18T03:04:00.000-08:00

Essential reading for people who care about their tomatoes.

My Foot In Your Asana

2011-12-17T13:10:00.001-08:00

WAR IS OVER - U.S. War in Iraq Declared Officially Over

2011-12-15T16:46:00.000-08:00

"BAGHDAD — Almost nine years after the first American tanks began massing on the Iraq border, the Pentagon declared an official end to its mission here, closing a troubled conflict that helped reshape American politics and left a bitter legacy of anti-American sentiment across the Muslim world."

Full report here

May the world be just a bit more peaceful this Christmas.

Welcome Home!

Be Someone Else...

2011-12-15T04:28:00.000-08:00

Yoga in Museums - Robert Sturman

2011-12-14T02:26:00.001-08:00

See more yoga photographs at his site

Dan Borden - Awesome Yoga Illustrations

2011-12-11T01:52:00.000-08:00

Full set of illustrations here

Yoga Time

2011-12-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

Click on graphic for more detail

No matter where you go...ego

2011-12-08T08:49:00.000-08:00

Yoga Undressed

2011-12-07T04:17:00.001-08:00

Now this is yoga...woof, woof!

Yoga Undressed Trailer from Gabriel Bienczycki on Vimeo.

"Kadinchey" - A Bhutan Mashup

2011-12-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Stunning!

Walk, Sex, Carrots

2011-12-03T01:32:00.000-08:00

Abbott and Costello Yoga Reboot

2011-12-02T04:13:00.001-08:00

Abbott and Costello Yoga Reboot

Laugh...It's good for you!

2011-12-01T04:34:00.002-08:00

Click on graphic for detail or here if still unable to see detail (blogger is so lame with images)

Yoga Girl

2011-11-29T04:48:00.000-08:00

Kim Kardashian does yoga with nude male instructor

2011-11-29T01:28:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha ha...I thought this was a spoof!

"In the culmination of the hour-long show, Kris is left incensed after walking in on Kim, her sister Kourtney and friends taking part in a naked yoga session.
As it turns out, it is only the male instructor who bares everything - but even though Kim keeps her clothes one, Kris is not happy about her being in the company of a naked man."

via Mail Online

Mantra for Murder

2011-11-28T01:30:00.000-08:00

Who knew there was a genre of yoga inspired murder mysteries....

Pepper Spray Yoga

2011-11-27T01:03:00.000-08:00

Everyone is doing it...

Black Friday Yoga Shopping

2011-11-23T03:52:00.000-08:00

We have all your favorite yoga stuff at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore. Open all day Thanksgiving so you can get a jump on Black Friday shopping. Support the economy, buy yoga stuff!

TSA Issues New Threat Warning for Airports: Yoga

2011-11-21T01:15:00.000-08:00

An Exclusive for GreatGreatYoga Magazine
by Hari Hari

If airline travel wasn't scary enough, the Transportation Safety Administration issued its latest alert yesterday, warning travelers about people practicing yoga in airports. In an attempt to stem the increasing public displays of yoga in airports, the TSA have begun deploying special behavior screeners, trained in various yoga styles to spot people who seem prone to acting out with yoga poses. This crackdown has been in response to numerous complaints from airline travelers.

Recently a woman who looked like any other traveler caught the attention of yoga behavior screeners as she stood in line at Kennedy Airport. “It was something about the way she was standing,” explained Ben Henry, a supervisor. She was standing on her head.

The woman was questioned, every inch of her body scanned twice with a metal-detecting wand and her carry-on bag examined. Out came a yoga block, a yoga strap, sticks of incense, a vial of lavender message oil, a collection of mala beads, a bottle of Kumbuca, several Rodney Yee DVDs, a neti pot, a Krishna Das CD, a copy of My Third Eye Itches, a bag of Goji berries and a pair of ToeSox. They had found a yogi. The screener warned the woman about practicing yoga in the airport and sent her on her way.

TSA officials refuse to say exactly what sort of behavior can make them suspicious, but part of the effort relies on watching for inappropriate smiles or grins, beatific facial expressions, closed eyes, silent chanting, quietly mouthing Om, sitting cross legged, standing on one leg or weird methods of stretching.

Many airline passengers are applauding this new crackdown on displays of yoga in airports. Virginia Randall, who was eating from a jumbo snack food bag and drinking a Big Gulp, stopped long enough to explain her irritation with these people. “Do I need to be subjected that crap. It’s bad enough that they are all thin, flexible and contorting themselves into demonic poses, but do they have to do that in the middle of the seating area? My God, enough already,” she exploded while dramatically jabbing the air with a half eaten Cheese-O. “If I did that kind of stuff, my husband would leave me…wait, now where the hell did he run off to?,” she asked as she looked around for her husband.

Another airline traveler, Carrie Woodman, remarked how aggressive these yogis seem to be. “They are just like those Hare Krishna people that used to hang out in airports years ago,” she explained. “I can deal with the inconvenience of taking my shoes off, being strip searched or even having to deal with crying babies and cell phone users on planes, but these yoga people are the worse. I’m glad the TSA is cracking down on them. Who need that show-off stuff? Next thing you know they’ll be doing yoga in the plane,” she added.

Leaving the airport waiting area, we spotted Ms. Randall’s husband having a beer in the airport bar along with a few other men. They were staring intently at a young Lululemon clad yogini going through her moves in the seating area. After each pose, the men would raise their glasses and let out a cheer. “This is hotter than the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue,” one of the men exclaimed to which Mr. Randall added wistfully, “I wish my wife could bust some moves like that…”

And the village always sat in a circle as I did yoga...

2011-11-20T01:24:00.000-08:00

I always think of my Guru...

2011-11-18T03:17:00.001-08:00

Savasana - The Movie

2011-11-15T05:59:00.001-08:00

It's for the Dawgs

2011-11-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

I would have flipped out if they busted some yoga moves....

Thinking too much....

2011-11-12T05:22:00.001-08:00

Why so serious...it's only yoga

2011-11-11T14:01:00.001-08:00

via Yoga Addicted

Your fellow yogis....

2011-11-11T01:00:00.000-08:00

I know them....this has been done before in print (including me) but think this the first time anyone did a video.

via Devil Wears Prana

Rickie Lee Jones ~ A jazz thing

2011-11-08T18:18:00.001-08:00

From her website

It's never as bleak as it seems on the Internet

2011-11-08T04:24:00.000-08:00

Black and White Kino

2011-11-08T01:14:00.000-08:00

The latest from Kino MacGregor...

via Claudia

A true yoga master

2011-11-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha...he has a point!

Mind Full or Mindful

2011-11-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Ashtangi Mysore Morning Infographic

2011-11-05T03:20:00.000-07:00

Click on graphic for better resolution

via alliscoming

When I open a yoga studio...

2011-11-04T01:36:00.000-07:00

...this is what I will offer because yoga by itself is so last 3,000 years:

Water divining

Molybdomancy

Aura balancing

Aeromancy

Tarot reading

Trepanation

Sanskrit translation services

Myomancy

Crop circle interpretation

Unicorn studies

Anthropomancy

Alien abductees counseling

Causimomancy

Ear candling

Speleotherapy

Renal/rectal philology

Empyromancy

Dowsing

Colonic cleansing

Scatoscopy

Craniosacral therapy

Extispicium

Tea Leaf Reading

Tring-ba

Leprechaun tossing

Uromancy

Clairvoyance

Geloscopy

Snake handling

Shamanic Journey

A Sense of Humor

The Emos ® - From The YogaDawg Archives

2011-11-02T04:36:00.000-07:00

With the news that Elena Brower is no longer associating herself with Anusara, I thought it would be fun to repost this very early piece of mine. For the YogaDawg treatment of the other yoga styles go here.

The Emos run the love child school of yoga. All is well here. I'm okay; you're okay. The world is a box of chocolates, and you can expect a Valentines Day card with each visit. There will be merry, uplifting yoga music along with chanting, laughing, and joyful chatter among teachers and students. You will learn to open your heart, spiral into your Inner Being, and leave the class feeling blissfully in love with the Universe. Hugging the receptionist, teacher, and fellow students are encouraged -- before, during, and after class.

Everyone is happy here, except for the lonely man, who is here because of the Emo ® online dating service. The Emo ® online dating service, www.EmoYogicHeart.com is run by the school. You will get a 10% discount on yoga classes if you sign up for a one-year membership to its online dating service.

In addition to the online dating service, the Emo ® school has a great online store. Here you will find The Heart ® meditation mat, The Heart ® collection of Yoga towels, The Heart ® yoga tote bag, The Heart ® eye bag and the Heart ® nonslip yoga mat kissed with a scent of pomegranate (known as the love fruit). All these items come in cardiac red with a heart motif on each. You can also order The Heart ® key chain, The Heart ® Buddha, and The Heart ® Heart. These also come in cardiac red with a heart motif on them.

You will find many books published through this school from the Heart ® Press. A sampling of titles are: Unlock your Heart, The Open Heart, The Friendly Heart, Getting more out of your Heart, Pimping your Heart, A Path to the Heart, The Clogged Heart, Avoiding Heart Breaks, Don't leave your Heart in San Francisco, and No more Heartburn.

The studios of the Emo ® school have walls that are painted red with a heart motif on them. The lighting will be red and even though the appearance may look a bit like a Texas whorehouse, don't get confused by where you are. Simply look for the red heart-shaped Buddhas and the shimmering neon hearts pulsing on the ceiling.

All poses in the Emo ® school are done with partners. You will be able to choose your own or will be assigned one by the teacher if you are shy. The poses have names like the Side Angle Hug ®, Connected Dogs ®, Kissing Cobras ® and Mating Warriors ®. Expect to clap, cheer, and hug your fellow Yoga student and the teacher after every pose.

TIP: Men, sit by any pretty babes upon entering the studio. Don't take the chance of being partnered up with some other guy (unless you go in for that sort of thing).

BONUS TIP: Avoid this school if you have any aversions to touching people or if you are prone to psychotic episodes from other people touching you.

The First Time You Did Yoga

2011-11-02T01:19:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when yoga was fresh and new???

Yoga Hurts, Meditation is Boring ~Yoga graffiti from around the web

2011-11-01T01:59:00.000-07:00

Of course the last two are the best!

Happy Yoga Halloween

2011-10-31T01:49:00.000-07:00

A great set of yoga skeletons from the Heavy Metal Yogi blog

Yoga Mat Aggression

2011-10-30T01:09:00.000-07:00

Let the Mat Wars (and jokes) begin. With six inches wider than a normal mat, I wonder how many people are going to be unyogic (pissed off) as their precious space between yoga mats is being gobbled up by the John Friend Phat Mat. In some studios in the Federal City, there are taped spaces where you are suppose to put your mat so they can cram, ahumm, I mean maximize the available space for as many students as possible. I don’t see this as an issue in your own space or sparsely populated studios but I can already see the stink eyes starting as a someone rolls this out. So why stop at 30 inches?

Some great comments are already rolling in (come on, some of this shit is pretty funny):

"...are you going to be the one who shows up for a packed class with a gigantic mat, bigger than everyone else's? Who wants that reputation?"

"I'm going to take all 5 of my Manduaka Mats and roll them over your mats. And I'm going to swipe your water bottle."

"Size matters!"

But heck with that mat, I'm bringing one of these babies with me to my next class...

360° Round Yoga Mat
1/4 inch thick for that extra cushion
6 feet diameter

Better yet, look for the YogaDawg Double-Wide Yoga Mat tm (at twice the size of the normal mat) ...

Be Here NOW

2011-10-29T03:58:00.000-07:00

Tara Brach Tells a Joke

2011-10-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

I used to go to Tara Brach's lectures since she lives in the area. She liked to tell jokes at her sittings...here is one of them.

Not only is she a hippie, but she also does yoga

2011-10-28T08:54:00.001-07:00

The Real Cost of Taking Up Yoga

2011-10-28T01:15:00.000-07:00

This can almost be a satirical piece in itself. Granted you can do yoga for free but how much have you spent in a year on yoga??

via Bloomburg with links galore for those yogis that need to spend some money...ahum, I mean, support the economy....

Strike a Pose

$90: Learn the fundamentals for Yoga postures. Five-class introductory series at Iyengar Yoga Association of Greater New York. (A four-class introductory series at Iyengar Yoga Institute of San Francisco costs $50.)

$1,150: Group classes at a yoga studio to release neck pain from computer usage and neutralize stress. One-year price is for unlimited classes at Yogaworks. (Monthly rate: $115/month for unlimited classes)

$1,800: To enhance poses learned in group classes, take private lessons, which average $150 per class in pricey New York

Running tally: $3,040

Yoga Clothes
A t-shirt and shorts work well, but specialized gear is available.

$216: Women's pants, 2 pairs, groove pant -- brushed

$156: Three Dash Tank II women's tank tops designed to fit over support bra

$40: No-slip yoga socks with individual toe covering, two pairs

$68: Women's Cabin Long Sleeve Tee II T shirt, a breathable, long-sleeve T-shirt

$126: Three sports bras, Flow Y Bra IV for yoga, $42 each

$70: YogaToes and YogaHands with gel support relieve stress and tension, soothe sore muscles, increase circulation and relieve pain

Running tally: $3,716

Yoga Basics
To practice postures, you can buy the basics with a little pizazz added.

$89: YogaMatic custom-designed paisley yoga mat

$23: Eco-friendly Hemp Yoga Mat Bag, an extra-large bag to hold mats, towel, block and water bottle

$40: Lululemon's Manduka Equa absorbent yoga towel

$10: The bobble, an 18.5 oz. eco-friendly water bottle, has a built-in carbon filter that's good for 300 refills

Running tally: $3,878

Meditation
Practicing meditation helps to achieve inner peace.

$86: Zafu-zabuton Meditation Cushion set -- a round meditation cushion stuffed with buckwheat hulls or natural kapok, so it remains firm during sittings

$66: Meditation course to nurture the mind and spirit -- three weekly sessions at Integral Yoga Institute

Running tally: $4,030

Props for Poses
$19: Two D Buckle 8-foot straps for extra support and proper alignment

$50: Yoga bolster to support the neck, knees or other areas during some poses and to put under the knees during savasana (final relaxation)

$40: Two bamboo yoga blocks -- eco-friendly and lightweight ($20 each)

$25: Mexican-style yoga blankets for comfort, warmth and support for knees and joints during poses

Running tally: $4,164

Yoga Workshops (4 per year)
Once you've learned the basics, fine-tune your skills -- prices at Integral Yoga.

$24: The yoga of breath, Pranayama for beginners -- fundamentals of yogic breathing techniques

$34: Mudras for a healthy heart -- hand gestures to strengthen the heart

$30: Toning and strengthening digestion

$30: Shoulders, arms, wrists and hands -- yoga for upper extremities

Running tally: $4,282

Yoga Enrichment
Refine your asanas (your poses) with DVDs, apps, magazines and books.

$14: Yoga Journal magazine, one-year subscription

$17: The Golden Present: Daily Inspirational Readings by Sri Swami Satchidananda

$16: Yoga: Mastering the Basics by Rolf Slovik and Sandra Anderson

$14: Meditation for the Love of It, Enjoying Your Own Deepest Experience by Sally Kempton

$25: Beginner's DVD: Complete Beginner's Guide by Jason Crandell

$4: Pocket Yoga HD for iPad App from Rainfrog LLC

Running tally: $4,372

Soothing Mind and Body
After yoga, promote relaxation with eye pillows and tea.

$152: Adagio Organic Teas in four 16-oz. packages

$34: Glass teapot with infuser for the richest flavor

$7: Lavender scented cotton or silk eye pillow filled with natural flaxseed

Running tally: $4,565

Conferences and Luxury Escapes
Extend the peace, serenity and well-being you feel after attending yoga class.

$860: Yoga Journal New York Conference, five days, Hilton Hotel, April 12-16

$1,795: Bali Holistic Yoga Retreats provide classes, nutrition options and cultural experiences -- five star accommodations (six-night, seven-day package)

$1,792: Airfare, New York-Bali, via Cathay Pacific

Running tally: $9,012

Yoga Music and Concerts
Songs of celebration may help you find your inner path.

$100: Kirtans, four per year from Integral Yoga -- an evening of chanting in a concert hall setting. Suggested donations on day of concert, $25

$30: Krishna Das Concert: Upcoming performance on Nov. 19 in New York and Jan. 13, 2012 in San Francisco among others.

$36: Two CDs of Krishna Das music -- Heart Full of Soul and Heart as Wide as the World

Running tally: $9,178

Beyond Yoga
Apart from the many poses of yoga, there are treatments that incorporate its principles.

$392: Thai Massage incorporates yoga-like stretches, four sessions

$1,200: Acupuncture to support muscle health and energy flow, one-hour monthly sessions for a year

$9: Arnica Cream made from Arnica montana, a mountain plant, 2.5 oz.

Running tally: $10,779

Also check out the post by Lucy Edge, Yoga School Dropout, for her breakdown of what yoga cost her.

And here is Claudia weighing in on her breakdown

And the The Reluctant Ashtangi

And Serene Flavorful

I myself spent about $4,000 the first year of yoga (classes, workshops, books, dvds, a yoga mat and some shorts from Target...I'm down to less than a $1,000 for classes a year (and well worth it for my sanity and sense of humor :)

Research center says pre-sleep activities influenced 'E.T.'-like encounters

2011-10-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know what would flip me out more, real aliens or finding aliens walking around in my house during lucid dreaming.

"One participant, identified as Alexander N., recalled making a successful attempt to separate from his body: "I [then] tried to find aliens. Three of them materialized right before my eyes. They seemed more like creatures from the movie 'The Thing' than tadpoles with eyes like Princess Jasmine. They wanted to scare me, not to 'make contact.' As a result, I was extremely frightened and regained awareness in my own body."

Full article Alien abductions may be vivid dreams

Of course there is always the Extraterrestrials That Do Yoga

Don't Diss The Drum Circles

2011-10-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

I was joking around how the drum circles are going to kill Occupy Wall Street because they are so annoying, as least to me. Lo and behold, I appear not to be the only one...

"Progressives and mainstream Democratic pundits disagree with each other about many issues at the heart of the Occupy Wall Street protests, but with few exceptions they are joined in their contempt for drum circles, free hugs, and other behavior in Zuccotti Park that smacks of hippie culture."

"In a post for the Daily Beast Michelle Goldberg lamented, “Drum circles and clusters of earnest incense-burning meditators ensure that stereotypes about the hippie left remain alive.” AtEsquire, Charles Pierce worried that few could “see past all the dreadlocks and hear…over the drum circles.” Michael Smerconish asked on the MSNBC show Hardball if middle Americans “in their Barcalounger” could relate to drum circles. The New Republic’s Alex Klein chimed in, “In the course of my Friday afternoon occupation, I saw two drum circles, four dogs, two saxophones, three babies....Wall Street survived.” And the host of MSNBC’s Up, Chris Hayes (editor at large of the Nation), recently reassured his guests Naomi Klein and Van Jones that although he supported the political agenda of the protest he wasn’t going to “beat the drum” or “give you a free hug,” to knowing laughter."

Full article at AlterNet

Putting the Garden to Bed

2011-10-27T01:27:00.000-07:00

Boo hoo hoo, the end of the tomatoes for the year...

Nighty night garden...

The last tomatoes...

I never know what to do with green tomatoes (please, no fried green tomatoes) so I thought I would try to pickle them...

A huge marigold that I saved and replanted...

The other side of the garden with the peppers stay...

...they are still thick with peppers!

Yoga: A Spiritually Transmitted Disease

2011-10-26T14:08:00.001-07:00

So You Think You Can Meditate

2011-10-26T10:19:00.001-07:00

Meditation in a Pill

2011-10-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

Soon available for YogaDawg Pharmaceuticals, Ltd. - Kundalini in a Pill

via Toni Bologna

Robert Charles Sturman - Yoga Photographer

2011-10-25T01:37:00.000-07:00

Some fun yoga images. The photographer also has a Van Gogh thing going on...check out all his work at his site.

Here's a fun video of the making of some yoga photos.

Find the Yogis

2011-10-24T01:23:00.000-07:00

This is pretty cool; A 360 degree view of the Occupy Wall Street encampment at Zuccotti Park. I was surprised to see a couple of yogis in the crowd...scroll around to find the yogis...#OCCUPYYOGA...Right OM!!

Click here to Find the Yogis

The Greatest Video That Was Ever Produced In the History Of Civilization

2011-10-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

P.S. That's my daughter twirling the hat in the beginning...

Tree Pittsburgh is an environmental non-profit organization dedicated to enhancing the City's vitality by restoring and protecting City trees.

The Yogic Evolution of a Yogini - From The YogaDawg Archives

2011-10-22T01:52:00.000-07:00

The original trip down the yoga rabbit hole....

Subject before taking up the practice of yoga

Life is good, but boring.

Discovers yoga on a Saturday morning yoga TV show on cable.

Thinks this is worth looking into further.

Buys a yoga DVD by a hot new yoga star.

Takes a yoga class at a local yoga studio.

Buys a pair of yoga pants from Target.

Attends a yoga workshop by a hot new yoga star at a local yoga studio.

Discovers yoga blogs and begin to leaves comments on them.

Discovers goji berries.

Attends a yoga conference in another city that hosts workshops by several hot new yoga stars.

Buys a pair of $100 Lululemons yoga pants (and several tops).

Attends a yoga festival in another city that hosts workshops by several hot new yoga stars and entertainment by hot new kirtan bands.

Discovers kombucha.

Buys a Black Manduka.

Start own yoga blog named, The Self-Centered Yogini.

Begins a yoga teacher training course in a trendy new yoga studio across town.

Goes vegan.

Completes yoga teacher training course.

Buys a harmonium.

After spending $9,000 on yoga teacher training, looks for a yoga job, but can only find non-paying teaching gigs, euphemistically called community classes, in third tier yoga studios.

Gets first yoga tattoo; an OM symbol.

Continues to teach non-paying teaching gigs in third tier yoga studios and sometimes in the local park.

Gets first Buddhist tattoo; a wheel of dharma.

Continues to teach non-paying teaching gigs in third tier yoga studios, in the local park and local community senior citizen centers.

Gets first Taoist tattoo; a Yin Yang symbol

Fuck it… gets full body spiritual tattoo that depicts the complete Bhagavad Gita.

Loses job because the boss thinks all those tats are too freakish for customers.

Continues to teach non-paying teaching gigs in third tier yoga studios, the local park, community senior citizens center, and the local prison.

Learns about a hot new yoga guru living in an ashram in India who teaches the One True Yoga.

Sells all possessions to travel to India to study with the hot new yoga guru.

Discovers that the hot new yoga Guru, who goes by the name Vivakanandashidisivamuktiparama-ji, is really a person named Barry from Boulder.

Begins having sex with Guru Barry and becomes his main, ahum…, disciple.

Is given the name Mamakanandatripleshivashakti-ji by Guru Barry but goes by the name of Jenni-ji because no one can pronounce that name anyway.

Gets first red forehead dot.

Gets nose rings.

Gets so many bangles that makes a holy sound in the key of Om that everyone in the ashram calls her, “The One Women American Kirtan Band”.

Wears saris and get henna tats on face and any remaining un-tattooed area of body.

Scores ganja from the local sadhus.

Grows hair into dreadlocks.

No longer wears clothes but smears body with cow dung and the ashes of the dead.

Guru Barry chooses a hot new yogini that just arrived in ashram to be his new main disciple.

Guru Barry sends Jenni-ji to LA to start a store-front branch of the One True Yoga.

Works for free teaching the One True Yoga, passing out leaflets on the street and cleaning the toilet.

Develops full-blown yogachosis and yogarexia.

Reduced to living in a back of the store-front of the One True Yoga under a cardboard squat when found by parents.

Locked in a room by them to get deprogrammed while having tattoos surgically removed.

Begins to use birth name, Betty Sue.

Renames blog, The Self-Deluded Yogini, and attempt to write satirical exposes of the yoga scene but only ends up sounding bitter, cynical and sarcastic.

Finally free of yoga forever after months of deprogramming, shuts down blog, gives away the Lulus, Black Manduka and devotes new found time learning ping pong.

Gets a job in a hot new ad agency.

Makes lots of money.

Become bored.

One Saturday, discovers Pilates on a TV show on cable.

Thinks this is worth looking into further.

Buys a Pilates DVD by a hot new Pilates star………

Subject after taking up the practice of yoga

From Hipster to Hippie - An Infographic

2011-10-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

Click on graphic for details

Stress Less - An Infographic

2011-10-20T01:26:00.000-07:00

See the entry for yoga...

Click here for detail (blogger is worthless with showing large detailed graphics)

The Ass Family

2011-10-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yep, know them...;)

Source unknown

What Enlightenment Looks Like

2011-10-19T01:14:00.000-07:00

Bend That Back

2011-10-18T01:46:00.000-07:00

Just a collection of back bends....

Evolution of a Coffee Addict - An Infographic

2011-10-17T01:54:00.000-07:00

click on graphic for detail

via Loldwell

The Sunday Yoga Funnies - YogaBoy by Chris Panico

2011-10-16T01:24:00.000-07:00

The latest Chris Panico toon

Click on toon for detail

YogaDawg's Yoga Week in Review

2011-10-15T01:46:00.000-07:00

Yoga with Animals - And no dawgs....

Yoga with Balls - A great name for a yoga studio

Herbie Hancock - Buddhist Jazz Musician

Are you experienced? - In support of Occupy Wall Street

Are You Happy? - From the YogaDawg archives

A yoga inspired music video - So crazy

Remember, cows not only love yoga but cows also love Dixieland.... - Moooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

The Sunday Yoga Funnies - YogaBoy by Chris Panico - A relevant cartoon for today's economic limited

#OCCUPYDC - Ralph Nader shows up and gives a stirring speech

Other stuff whirling around the yoga interscene

‘Enlightened’: Portrait of a crazy lady - A depiction of a woman far past the edge of a nervous breakdown. It also sublimely lampoons office life, Los Angeles and the touchy-feely panacea of 21st-century yoga culture.

Seane Corn Joins Russell Simmons, Protesters To Bring Yoga To Occupy Wall Street - With some photos

How Garbo Learned to Stand on Her Head - Read the comments for some good laughs.

Yoga image of the week

Yoga with Animals

2011-10-14T01:16:00.001-07:00

Yoga with Balls

2011-10-13T01:36:00.000-07:00

Herbie Hancock - Buddhist Jazz Musician

2011-10-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

This is an awesome interview. I didn't know that Herbie was Buddhist.

MR: It seems like that's where growth comes from. If you get out of your habits, it seems like that's the only potential for growth.

HH: Right, absolutely, and Miles encouraged that. He would always say things like, "I pay you to practice on the bandstand," and he would say things about getting out of the comfort zone. That's what we talked about back in the day, and that's one of the reasons that I first started practicing Buddhism, the musical reason--it was very much compatible with my training with Miles and others. Of course, that was the tip of the iceberg. Music is not the only reason that I practice Buddhism anymore because it has affected my whole life. As a matter of fact, the way I view myself is different now than it was for the vast majority of my life. I don't view myself as a musician anymore--I view myself as a human being that functions as a musician when I'm functioning as a musician, but that's not 24 hours a day. That's really opened me up to even more perspectives because now I look at music, not from the standpoint of being a musician, but from the standpoint of being a human being.

MR: I get that, totally. When you think of it as a form of communication, what you've done is evolved your particular form because it's growing at the same level as your spirituality and being a human.

HH: Exactly. Buddhism has turned me on to my humanness, and is challenging my humanness so that I can become more human. What I'm talking about is the best of what the human spirit has to offer. So, we're talking about things like courage, wisdom, compassion, and those kinds of things.

MR: Higher purpose and higher senses.

HH: Exactly.

The complete interview here

More here

Are you experienced?

2011-10-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

Ha! If you don't know, you don't know...

Are You Happy? - From the YogaDawg Archives

2011-10-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

Saw this posted on another site today and thought I would post again since it's that good (from September 2011).

A yoga inspired music video

2011-10-11T01:49:00.000-07:00

The Beatsteaks

Remember, cows not only love yoga but cows also love Dixieland....

2011-10-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha...this reminds me so much of my satirical piece, Cow Yoga.

The Sunday Yoga Funnies - YogaBoy by Chris Panico

2011-10-09T01:47:00.000-07:00

Click on toon for detail

The complete set of Toons here

#OCCUPYDC - Ralph Nader

2011-10-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

"There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear." ~ Buffalo Springfield

Ralph gets the crowd going...very powerful speech...Check out the video clip below to get the flavor of his speech and the crowd.

In sight of the Capitol.

Ralph Nader speaking as Casimir Pulaski (umm, the guy on the left on the horse. Look him up if you don't know your American history) looks on.

Next...#OCCUPYUNAFFORDABLEYOGA (you know I had to work the yoga angle in here somehow...;)

Ralph Nader speaking. I wish I videoed the whole thing...powerful!!!

YogaDawg's Yoga Week in Review

2011-10-08T01:59:00.000-07:00

Ryan Gosling brought his bad dog to yoga class, where it peed in the corner - Now that's a YogaDawg!

The protest gets serious - #occupysesemestreet - A little non-yoga humor

Old yoga clips from British Pathe - Check out the nail sitting meditative babe

YogaDawg Supports Occupy Wall Street - What George Carlin said

Latest David Adams Yoga Collages - A yoga collage master

How to Fart in Yoga Class - Who said YogaDawg doesn't give you pertinent yoga information

A Yoga Party Trick - Try this at your next party.

The latest YogaBoy Toon - Another misadventure.

Other Yoga Stuff floating around the interwebs

Ryan Gosling brought his bad dog to yoga class, where it peed in the corner - Now that's a YogaDawg!!

Why I Hate Yoga - Some great yoga zingers.

An awesome set of yoga photos - These are some of the most creative I've seen

Getting a job at Lululemons - Oh man, this is worse than any job I applied for. But the author handled it with humor and wit. Part I, Part II

When Spirituality Becomes a Mask - This is a pretty good list of signs.

Portland's storefront yoga studios offer affordable, accessible practice for all styles - Has a list of studios in Portland that has yoga for $8 or less. I've always questioned the high prices of yoga because the money is not getting to the teachers.

Brother can you spare a dime for yoga - I think the recession is bringing articles about affordable yoga popular.

How Yoga Won the West - In 1945, Henry Miller, famous for his sex-drizzled novels, reported that his most important discovery of recent years was “two volumes on Ramakrishna and Vivekananda.”

Yoga Image of the Week

via Ca photo

Ryan Gosling brought his bad dog to yoga class, where it peed in the corner

2011-10-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha, that dog must be a YogaDawg

"Ryan Gosling has been causing a ruckus in his West Hollywood yoga class by bringing along his beloved pooch George - who interrupts workouts by pestering people, barking and even marking his territory!"

“Ryan is a great guy and everyone in class loves him, but they find it very disrespectful that he brings his dog,” revealed a gym insider. “Ryan put a mat next to him and attempted to get George to stay on it. But it only took about 30 seconds before George began walking around and disturbing people who were trying to concentrate on their workouts.

“The instructor finally asked Ryan to remove George from the room after the dog began relieving himself in the corner!”…

The worst part about the yoga fiasco, said the insider, is that…

“He actually tried to bring him to class again,” added the insider. “The instructor immediately told him George was not allowed back in class!”

From The National Enquirer, print edition, October 7, 2011