Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Yoga Girl

Kim Kardashian does yoga with nude male instructor

Ha ha ha ha...I thought this was a spoof!

"In the culmination of the hour-long show, Kris is left incensed after walking in on Kim, her sister Kourtney and friends taking part in a naked yoga session.
As it turns out, it is only the male instructor who bares everything - but even though Kim keeps her clothes one, Kris is not happy about her being in the company of a naked man."






via Mail Online

Monday, November 28, 2011

Mantra for Murder

Who knew there was a genre of yoga inspired murder mysteries....




Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Black Friday Yoga Shopping

We have all your favorite yoga stuff at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore. Open all day Thanksgiving so you can get a jump on Black Friday shopping. Support the economy, buy yoga stuff!

Monday, November 21, 2011

TSA Issues New Threat Warning for Airports: Yoga

An Exclusive for GreatGreatYoga Magazine
by Hari Hari




If airline travel wasn't scary enough, the Transportation Safety Administration issued its latest alert yesterday, warning travelers about people practicing yoga in airports. In an attempt to stem the increasing public displays of yoga in airports, the TSA have begun deploying special behavior screeners, trained in various yoga styles to spot people who seem prone to acting out with yoga poses. This crackdown has been in response to numerous complaints from airline travelers.

Recently a woman who looked like any other traveler caught the attention of yoga behavior screeners as she stood in line at Kennedy Airport. “It was something about the way she was standing,” explained Ben Henry, a supervisor. She was standing on her head.


The woman was questioned, every inch of her body scanned twice with a metal-detecting wand and her carry-on bag examined. Out came a yoga block, a yoga strap, sticks of incense, a vial of lavender message oil, a collection of mala beads, a bottle of Kumbuca, several Rodney Yee DVDs, a neti pot, a Krishna Das CD, a copy of My Third Eye Itches, a bag of Goji berries and a pair of ToeSox. They had found a yogi. The screener warned the woman about practicing yoga in the airport and sent her on her way.

TSA officials refuse to say exactly what sort of behavior can make them suspicious, but part of the effort relies on watching for inappropriate smiles or grins, beatific facial expressions, closed eyes, silent chanting, quietly mouthing Om, sitting cross legged, standing on one leg or weird methods of stretching.



Many airline passengers are applauding this new crackdown on displays of yoga in airports. Virginia Randall, who was eating from a jumbo snack food bag and drinking a Big Gulp, stopped long enough to explain her irritation with these people. “Do I need to be subjected that crap. It’s bad enough that they are all thin, flexible and contorting themselves into demonic poses, but do they have to do that in the middle of the seating area? My God, enough already,” she exploded while dramatically jabbing the air with a half eaten Cheese-O. “If I did that kind of stuff, my husband would leave me…wait, now where the hell did he run off to?,” she asked as she looked around for her husband.



Another airline traveler, Carrie Woodman, remarked how aggressive these yogis seem to be. “They are just like those Hare Krishna people that used to hang out in airports years ago,” she explained. “I can deal with the inconvenience of taking my shoes off, being strip searched or even having to deal with crying babies and cell phone users on planes, but these yoga people are the worse. I’m glad the TSA is cracking down on them. Who need that show-off stuff? Next thing you know they’ll be doing yoga in the plane,” she added.



Leaving the airport waiting area, we spotted Ms. Randall’s husband having a beer in the airport bar along with a few other men. They were staring intently at a young Lululemon clad yogini going through her moves in the seating area. After each pose, the men would raise their glasses and let out a cheer. “This is hotter than the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue,” one of the men exclaimed to which Mr. Randall added wistfully, “I wish my wife could bust some moves like that…”

Sunday, November 13, 2011

It's for the Dawgs

I would have flipped out if they busted some yoga moves....

Friday, November 04, 2011

When I open a yoga studio...




...this is what I will offer because yoga by itself is so last 3,000 years:

Water divining

Molybdomancy

Aura balancing

Aeromancy

Tarot reading

Trepanation

Sanskrit translation services

Myomancy

Crop circle interpretation

Unicorn studies

Anthropomancy

Alien abductees counseling

Causimomancy

Ear candling

Speleotherapy

Renal/rectal philology

Empyromancy

Dowsing

Colonic cleansing

Scatoscopy

Craniosacral therapy

Extispicium

Tea Leaf Reading

Tring-ba

Leprechaun tossing

Uromancy

Clairvoyance

Geloscopy

Snake handling

Shamanic Journey

A Sense of Humor

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

The Emos ® - From The YogaDawg Archives


With the news that Elena Brower is no longer associating herself with Anusara, I thought it would be fun to repost this very early piece of mine. For the YogaDawg treatment of the other yoga styles go here.



The Emos run the love child school of yoga. All is well here. I'm okay; you're okay. The world is a box of chocolates, and you can expect a Valentines Day card with each visit. There will be merry, uplifting yoga music along with chanting, laughing, and joyful chatter among teachers and students. You will learn to open your heart, spiral into your Inner Being, and leave the class feeling blissfully in love with the Universe. Hugging the receptionist, teacher, and fellow students are encouraged -- before, during, and after class.

Everyone is happy here, except for the lonely man, who is here because of the Emo ® online dating service. The Emo ® online dating service, www.EmoYogicHeart.com is run by the school. You will get a 10% discount on yoga classes if you sign up for a one-year membership to its online dating service.

In addition to the online dating service, the Emo ® school has a great online store. Here you will find The Heart ® meditation mat, The Heart ® collection of Yoga towels, The Heart ® yoga tote bag, The Heart ® eye bag and the Heart ® nonslip yoga mat kissed with a scent of pomegranate (known as the love fruit). All these items come in cardiac red with a heart motif on each. You can also order The Heart ® key chain, The Heart ® Buddha, and The Heart ® Heart. These also come in cardiac red with a heart motif on them.

You will find many books published through this school from the Heart ® Press. A sampling of titles are: Unlock your Heart, The Open Heart, The Friendly Heart, Getting more out of your Heart, Pimping your Heart, A Path to the Heart, The Clogged Heart, Avoiding Heart Breaks, Don't leave your Heart in San Francisco, and No more Heartburn.

The studios of the Emo ® school have walls that are painted red with a heart motif on them. The lighting will be red and even though the appearance may look a bit like a Texas whorehouse, don't get confused by where you are. Simply look for the red heart-shaped Buddhas and the shimmering neon hearts pulsing on the ceiling.

All poses in the Emo ® school are done with partners. You will be able to choose your own or will be assigned one by the teacher if you are shy. The poses have names like the Side Angle Hug ®, Connected Dogs ®, Kissing Cobras ® and Mating Warriors ®. Expect to clap, cheer, and hug your fellow Yoga student and the teacher after every pose.

TIP: Men, sit by any pretty babes upon entering the studio. Don't take the chance of being partnered up with some other guy (unless you go in for that sort of thing).

BONUS TIP: Avoid this school if you have any aversions to touching people or if you are prone to psychotic episodes from other people touching you.

The First Time You Did Yoga

Do you remember when yoga was fresh and new???