Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Beige Book - He Said, She Said #14

He said, "I do yoga." She said, “Quick, hide in the closet. My friends are here.”

watercolor, ink, photo on paper - 6 x 9 inch

Saturday, July 25, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Esperanza Spalding

NOTE 2/14/2011: Welcome to all the Esperanza fans hitting this site. This post has been up for awhile but is drawing a ton of traffic due to the Grammys. Let celebrate Esperanza together and show the world that jazz is here to stay!

The up and coming jazz bassist who is young, talented and hot, hot, hot.

Here is a link of her on Letterman where she is amazing (don't know how long it will be up)

In the meantime, here she is at the White House. This women gets around.

Esperanza Spalding - Vocals, Bass (Acoustic)
Aruan Ortiz - Piano
Francisco Mela - Drums

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Beige Book - He Said, She Said #10

He said he does yoga. She said, “I liked it better when I thought you were only a drunk.”

watercolor, ink on paper - 6 x 9 inch

Saturday, July 18, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Nicholas Payton

The great Nicholas Payton with Esperanza Spalding backing him on bass at the Duke Ellington Jazz Festival - 2009. This is a truly an amazing coupling of new jazz masters.

Nicholas Payton (trumpet), Joshua Redman (tenor sax), Anthony Wonsey (piano), Reuben Rogers (bass), Adonis Rose (drums).

Friday, July 17, 2009

Help Save Sarah's Knees

Upon seeing the photo of Sarah Palin in Runners World in a yoga Tree pose, concerned yogis raised alarms of the possible damage to her knees due to the improper understanding and execution of this most venerable of yoga asanas. These yogis know that one should never place their foot on the knee when in the pose (as Sarah is shown doing), but rather above or below it.

As this group of yogis don't know the extent of Sarah Palin’s yoga experience nor if there is a possibility that she may be jeopardizing other part of her body due to misalignment or ignorance of other poses, an organization was formed to help Sarah from causing further damage in the name of yogic bliss. With her reputation as a maverick, this group feels that only Rodney "I did it my way" Yee (Yoga Star) will be able to get through to her so the group is requesting that you donate all your old or used Rodney Yee yoga DVDs to Ms. Palin.

Below is the group’s statement on the issue of Sarah Plain’s knees.

Help Save Sarah’s Knees PAC

Dedicated to saving Sarah Palin’s knees from the sloppy execution of Tree Pose.

SarahKneePAC believes that Sarah’s knees are in serious jeopardy.

SarahKneePAC believes that Sarah Palin’s knee bone is connected her head bone.

SarahKneePAC believes that by keeping Sarah’s knees safe, she will spend her time running around Alaska instead of running for President.

Please help save Sarah’s knees by donating your used Rodney Yee yoga DVDs (or those of other yoga stars if you don’t have any Rodney Yee DVDs) to:

Ex-Governor Sarah Palin
Right Across the Street from Russia
North of Canada, Alaska

Bikram Choudhury – “Don’t fuck with the knees”

Sponsored by Concerned Yogis to Save Sarah’s Knees PAC

Thursday, July 16, 2009

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Partner Poses

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair AcroYoga - Get off that chair and let it go to the next level.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Closing Poses

>YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Get off that lawn chair so it can practice some yoga!

Wheel Pose

Staff Pose

Full Lotus

Corpse Pose

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Core Poses

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Get off your chair and let it do yoga!

Boat Pose

Plow Pose

Shoulder Stand

Supported Headstand

Fish Pose

Monday, July 13, 2009

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Opening Poses

YogaDawg's Lawn Chair Yoga - Get off your chair and let it do yoga!

"Mountain Pose"

"Plank Pose"

"Upward Facing Dog"

"Downward Facing Dog"

Sunday, July 12, 2009

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - The Baron Letters

I stumbled on these letters to Baron Baptiste while researching quotes from this famous yoga star. These are funny and insightful and proves that not everyone will drink the yoga star's kool-aid. Thanks to the Must be Motherhood blogger who goes by the name of Eve for letting me repost the letters in full text.

OCTOBER 16, 2007

Dear Mr. Baron Baptiste,

Thank you for your recent email invitation to your Personal Revolution All-Day Immersion in New York City on November 10. How did you know that I am in dire need of a Life, Body & Soul Transformation? It’s like you have superpowers. Of course you do. Who could deny it when you look so delicious sitting on a pier near your home in Hawaii (and thanks also for including this yummy photo in your invitation)?

Back in another lifetime, oh, say, a good five years ago, I practiced at least once a week at your hot yoga studio in Boston’s Back Bay, convienently located across the street from my office building. My good friend and I would dash over post-work, skipping cocktails (those were the days, weren’t they?) and submit our bodies to your 100 degree room and boot-camp instructors and bend ourselves to the physical and mental limit for NINETY minutes. When we were finished, we were drenched with sweat and dizzy and high from deydration. For days afterwards, we’d walk around like ninety-year olds. And then, we’d come back for more.
Ah, we drank your Kool-aid all right.

I still use your hour long audio class CD to practice according to your methods at home. But these days I usually poop out at the forty-five minute mark. There was also a brief period when I attempted your 40 Days to Personal Revolution guide because boy, did I need a revolution at the time. I, the woman who has been moaning for nearly a year and half about not getting enough sleep, set my alarm quite early to practice yoga for incrementally longer periods of time SIX DAYS A WEEK. But I lost you when you wanted me to go for longer than an hour first thing in the morning. I didn’t have it in me. And I’ve been disappointed in myself ever since, thankyouverymuch, because the revolution was short-lived. Oy.

Baron, if you offered your class in Boston and I still lived in Boston, I would consider your offer to enjoy INCREASED STRENGTH, VITALITY, A RENEWED MENTAL EDGE, OR A DEEPER SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE, via the Personal Revolution All-Day Immersion because, as you say, it “can take you there.” Although it has been five years since I practiced your brand of athletic, sweaty yoga with a good dose of new-agey-humor (aka “now twist! point your nipples like laserlights up towards saturn”), I yearn to become your apprentice archeologist and “excavate” my “ideal practice” alongside you. Freeing my true self and transforming my life through yoga with a constant emphasis on gentleness and acceptance sounds like the right ticket right about now. I’m hanging by a thread here, Baron. We’re always trying to get Pitter to “be gentle! gentle!” so this philosophy resounds deeply with me.

But alas, I am not independently wealthy and cannot join you for the ALMOST SOLD OUT upcoming Saturday in November in New York. Perhaps I will support your cause with the purchase of this book you wrote for your son:

But then again, such a gift could have catastrophic consequences as Pitter’s daddy, who cannot even touch his toes, would never be mistaken for a pretzal, and Pitter might conclude that you, Baron Baptiste are his real father. And we can’t have that. Unless…it would mean you would adopt us so we could live in Hawaii with you and also sit on a lovely pier, serene and ridiculously flexible.

Namaste and xox

P.s.: Keep the email invitations coming. Along with the other Boston/East-Coast mailing lists I’m on, they’re really helping me adjust to the midwest. I mean, I’m just exhausted considering all the great road races, concerts, yoga retreats and special-invitation movies I could be going to if we still lived in Boston!

DECEMBER 20, 2007

Dearest Baron Baptiste,

Hi, love.

I suspect our messages crossed in the mail, and that you didn’t read my last note before sending me your latest invitation. Because if you did, my benevolent bandanna bearing boy, you would know that my ability to just pick up and join you in a week of sweaty yoga sessions and deep thoughts has been severely compromised by motherhood.

Nevertheless, you send me an invitation to this:

Baron Baptiste’s Teacher’s Bootcamp is an exclusive hands-on opportunity for those who understand that a yoga teacher’s deepest responsibility – and ultimate reward – is the ability to transform the lives of individuals seeking physical and spiritual growth – leading them to a healthier state of existence.

Kindly, you suggest that ”This is a process of total immersion and transformation for those who want to teach and even for those who don’t.” Even for those who don’t. So, inclusive, while at the same time, being exclusive. As usual, you’ve got me all turned around and fluttery, Baron.

Honestly, you had me at exceptional standards and personal attention. Would you actually be there to assist me into a more precise crow or dancer’s bow? And, like, touch me? Squeee!

And then, you threw in Hawaii. The BIG ISLAND. How did you know that the only reason I agreed to have Pitter was so that we could guide him towards becoming a high-powered attorney/speciality surgeon/corporate bitch so that he can buy me and Sweet Cheeks a retirement home in Hawaii? That’s how much I love Hawaii, Baron.

Look at these beautiful people, mats jammed so close together, sweating together, truly, “Lives Touched in a Moment – and Transformed Forever.” Who can resist this siren call to grow more than I could ever imagine? Have you been keeping up with my blog and recent foray into therapy? I want to be more than I can imagine. It sounds marvelous.



Then there’s this stuff about those who attend this training bootcamp demanding (demanding!) more of yourselves and each other than anyone could reasonably expect. Let’s pause on this sentence, shall we?: More than anyone could reasonably expect. Combine this idea with your insistence, nay, expectation, that I show up at my best, every minute of every day, and we have a problem.

Every minute, Baron? Every single minute, even while asleep? I’ve gotta be honest. I’m a scatterbrain since becoming a mother. I can’t focus for 1440 minutes for every day I’m in Hawaii. I haven’t slept a full night in almost two years. I’m suffering from mild depression. It’s more than anyone could reasonably expect, pretzel man.

And so, yet again, I must decline your exceptional offer. May your backbends be bendy and your hands stay soft. Even when you’re practicing on rough, callousy volcano detritus.

Don’t forget about me. Somehow, someday, when the time is right, we’ll find the time to come together.



FEBRUARY 5, 2009

A Special Valentine Message for Mr. Baron Baptiste

Dear Baron,

Over the last month you have invited me to join you in Boston in March, London in April, and Montana in June for a bevvy of seminars with you and your cadre of yogi pretzels.

And you are so very excited about it. I mean, take a look at yourself.

Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care!

But at this point in our relationship I feel like you’re just not listening to me. Let’s face it: we’re just not as close as we used to be and your bandanna’d enthusiasm cannot just magically make up for it. Also? Three getaway invitations would strike any girl as a little desperate. Just sayin’.

It’s not that I’ve lost all interest in synertistically working to dissolve my energy blocks with you. I would never suggest that I am a woman without held emotions or limited perceptions. And after recently birthing a second child, I am a reasonable candidate to face these myriad of problems with bio-mechanical precision, strength and an open heart.

I wear my shoulders up by my ears and I cry regularly when watching stories about local dogs fall into frozen ponds on the news. I am by all accounts a mess.

And yet, all of your invitations promise scenes that go something like this:

I think I’m over it.

Don’t get me wrong: The idea of spending a brisk Blue Sky mornings with you this summer trying to become a Sannyasin spiritual warrior, a seeker of truth, an individual on a mission of positive change is not altogether unappealing. Surely it’s a step up from a Sesame Street warrior, a seeker of Elmo, an individual on a mission to record all of the recent Curious George episodes on PBS.

But do we have to do it in a 100 degree hothouse sticking ass to ass?

Here’s where this gets difficult for me.

Have you met Shiva Rea? She’s pretty bendy too.

I’ve been cheating on you with her.

Instead of practicing in quarters that put the crazy in close, she rides the wave of fluid power in grand, open white sandy places like this:

Be honest, Baron. What’s not to like?

Sometimes it’s like she’s convinced the cast of Lost to get hopped up on LSD to undulate about like a bunch of blissed-out patchouli-smelling Rainbow tribe people. And sometimes she gives them fire to play with. How awesome is this? This is transformational entertainment.

Look how flowly and connected to our inner water she is while she practices on that shimmery expanse of sand. Sometimes she doesn’t even confine herself to a mat.

Just imagine! Not only is she not breathing in some rank foot odor from the guy next to her who’s made the unfortunate choice to don purple spandex pants, she’s practically breathing in the mystical air of the sands of time as they sweep from the Pacific over the dunes, directly to her soul. Into her soul, Baron. Fresh air is kind of nice, isn’t it?

And, not only does she not discuss raising our nipples to mars, but she twists and twirls about in what I must admit is a very enviable yogic trance with her patented circulating wave motion.

I think it’s kind of sexy. It’s a bit like Carmen Electra’s Striptease video minus the skank.

Oh, but it’s not all about the sex. Shiva Rea is also very scientific! Did you know her undulating wave powers come from atomic and cellular levels?

Finally, do you realize that on this DVD, which includes a special Yoga Matrix, I can create my own vinyasas with over three hours of material? Well I can. And that’s true flexibility, Baron.

I know, I know. It’s mean to expect you to compete with this. So I’m not going to. I’m going to set you free.

The methods of Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga have served me well for years, but while I’ve used your patented combination of intuition, authenticity, creativity, technical knowledge in serach of total transformation, things have gotten stale, and frankly, a bit smelly.

I’ve got to turn elsewhere. Please know that I will always love you, but I’ve got a new yogi mistress.

Until we meet on the other side, Namaste.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Nicholas Payton

Nicholas Payton - Duke Ellington Jazz Festival - DC - 2009

Nicholas Payton - vocals, trumpet, synthesizer
Daniel Sadownick - percussion
Kevin Hays - piano, electric piano, Fender Rhodes piano, keyboards
Vincente Archer - acoustic bass
Marcus Gilmore - drums

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Sarah Palin To Enter Yoga Ashram

Mary Washington
For EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine

In an exclusive interview with EternallyBlissfulYoga magazine, Sarah Palin ended the speculation over why she quit her governors’ job by explaining that she plans to move to India to join a yoga ashram. Palin explained her motives by saying, “When the piece in Runners World came out, I was expecting them just to show something normal of me, like running around Alaska. Little did I know they would leak the picture of me doing yoga. I told that gossip rag, not to mention the yoga thing because you know, the people in Alaska don’t go for that kind of thing. I didn’t realize that they tricked me in doing the pose and then put it in the story. I’m going to sue those darn people.”

The comment regarding suing “those darn people” apparently stems from a tweet she sent on July 4th threatening to sue organizations of the mainstream media for malicious gossip mongering regarding a scandal that is said to be brewing when she was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Though most commentators thought that this was an example of “drunk tweeting” by Palin; Palin denies this. “Let me say right now I did not send that when I was drunk. Do they really think that I’m that stupid?” Palin did not want to talk about the letters her lawyers sent threatening to sue the organizations but she did seem particularly livid about a blog posting that implied that she was no longer in the state of Alaska but rather on the planet Zoid. “That BS about me being on the planet Zoid really got to me. That a blogger can get away with spreading such lies and equating me somehow with a weird blogger, Lip-Gloss Yoga, just gets my goat."

EternallyBlissfulYoga magazine asked Palin how she became interested in yoga and she replied that she is a regular reader of the yoga website, My Third Eye Itches. “Todd somehow stumbled on it and showed it to me because he wanted to warn me about the weirdoes out there that I would have to placate if I became president. Well, it wasn’t long after I started reading things on that site that I became interested in yoga and started to secretly practice in a closet off the kitchen.”, she explained “Man, it was hot in there”, she added. Adding that “one thing led to another”, she mentioned to this shocked reporter that in fact she is preparing to become a yoga teacher. When asked what studio she was going to be trained in, she replied, “Well, considering that there are no yoga studios in Alaska (research by this magazine in fact uncovered that there were actually two studios in Alaska, “Really Really Cold Yoga” in Anchorage and “Mooseasana Yoga” in Juneau), I decided to go live and train in an ashram in India. Nobody knows it, but I can also see India from my bedroom window and I’d wondered what all those little people in loin cloths were doing. Well, it was yoga and I decided I would train with them since it was so much closer then going to Seattle, or God forbid, Los Angeles.”

When asked if Todd and the kids would be going with her she said, “I don’t know, but if you think I'm going to stay here and work those gosh darn fishing boats again, you are sadly mistaken. It’s bad enough the Democrats make fun of me but I’ll be darned if I'll let those halibut smelling gut scrappers make fun of me when they find out that I’m a yogi.”

Though she didn’t mention when she was going to make the move to India, she did allude to the idea that she had some business to take care in Vancouver, Canada. A source close to Palin said that in fact, she was going to the Lululemon store there to get some really cool yoga togs. “She somehow heard that those clothes promised to make her butt look great in down dog”, the source concluded.

Sarah Palin out of the yoga closet

The new Sarah Palin limited edition yoga outfit from Lululemon

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - The Day After

Editors Note: Ummmm...please excuse our mess. It appears that the famous Yogini, Lip-gloss Yoga, has disappeared before our very eyes as she has entered into the transcendental void. There have been unconfirmed reports from yogis shopping at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore of seeing an apparition of her riding naked on a white horse through the aisles. Unfortunately, we are left to care for her seven cats (the Lip-Gloss 7) and need to put them up for adoption.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 11

ahhhh, zzzezze, blaba balaba bislga...bilsabub..I'm barinbujm bill the sailor...glub..OMG..WTF..wowie-zowie..simga-29 and my cat are melting into the great transcendental void...farma..yicky-samba...inot scantanba...dobbie boobie, ring-a-ring ding ding.....

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 10

Okay everyone...I'm writing you from the planet Zoid today...I don't know how I ended up here but it is really something...everything look kind of like strawberry taffy. yum! I'm like licking everything here...this pink planet is so cute girls..I'll have to post some's hard to capture with my brains strewn everywhere. OH my God, there's Sarah Palin licking a pink tree....

Sunday, July 05, 2009

YogaDawg's Yoga Fun Sundays - Ana Brett

Ana Brett - Kundalini Yogini Master and Yoga Star

I know this is not suppose to be funny (I think) but this cracks me up. I just can't keep my eyes off

Saturday, July 04, 2009

YogaDawg's Jazz Saturdays - Terence Blanchard

Terence Blanchard - Duke Ellington Jazz Festival - DC - 2009

Personnel: Terence Blanchard, trumpet; Diana Krall, Jane Monheit, Dianne Reeves, Cassandra Wilson, vocals; Brice Winston, tenor sax; Edward Simon, piano; Derek Nievergelt, bass; Eric Harland, drums

Friday, July 03, 2009

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 9

I don't know what is happening to I think I want to be a wandering naked Sadhu...I'm not even sure what that's like I'm so in the present moment. So who needs Yoga..hee hee, only kidding. Sometimes my mind is constantly planning what to do next. So girls, I made a decision today...I'm going to live in the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. This way I won't have to live in anticipation of what I will buy next. Don't you think I'm smart? Oh damn, I'm disappearing again.....Like OMG!!!! I'm becoming one with my cats..............

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 8

Yummie, this Yoga Juice is really goooooodddd...The picutes in this Kama Sutra book are getting me hhhhooooootttttt...I didn't know people could do that.....I need to take my clothes off...I'm getting rrreeeaalllyyy hhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooootttttttt...where's my viiibbbbraaaaaaaaaatoor..oohhhh...hic... .xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooooooooooooooooooooooo ..ooohhhh- yyyyeeeaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Guest Blogger, Yoga Lip-Gloss - Day 7 this is so weird... my cats are levitating...and disappearing through a hole in the ceiling....I'm not sure what this book is about that the hippy next door left off, but I like licking the pages.....the colors, the colors...I'm melting into a waxy pool...........Holy Crap, my cats are back and they are glowing like the bejeezzees.....