Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Eighth Chakra Found

Jai Ray
For Journal of Yoga Sciences

The Yoga world is buzzing today with an announcement from the Yoga Research and Development Organization (YRDO), a wing of the Ministry of Yoga under the Government of India, to officially declare and recognize the discovery of the Eighth Chakra. This discovery has propelled India's Yoga research once again to the forefront of the Yoga world. "We realize that we have been losing ground in Yoga to the United States in the last few years, but this should prove that all those American Yoga Stars are nothing but light-weights by comparison to what we are doing here in India, quipped Pasad Gurose, Director of YRDO.

Intense research work, done day and night for nearly 9 years by the senior scientist, Dr. M.A. Padma Rao, at the Yoga Laboratory in Jodhpur led to this Chakra discovery.

Long believed that there were only seven Chakras or virtual bodies as they are known in the Yoga world, reporters asked Dr. Rao how the new Chakra had been missed for so long. "Well, it's like astrophysics, we have developed tools to allow us to see deeper in the metaphysical body." When asked where this new Chakra was located Dr. Rao pointed to his foot and said, "The sole of the foot. It was literally under our feet this whole time."

The new Chakra has been named Pluto in honor of the ex-planet Pluto. "We feel that this is an appropriate name since even though we lost the planet Pluto, we have gained the Chakra Pluto," Dr. Rao added.

The Newly discovered chakra; Pluto

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Yoga News - Yoga's All-Time Record Profit Gouges US Yogis, Group Says; US Yoga Profits Up 39 Percent

Free Me
For Radical Yoga Review

SANTA MONICA, California - NirvanaPranaOneWorldYoga SuperStudio capped an orgy of Yoga studios quarterly record profits Friday with an 18 percent boost over last year to $1.4 billion, its highest one-quarter profit ever. What should really fuel the ire of U.S. Yogis, however, is its 39 percent increase in teacher training and Yoga conference profits, which come most directly out of the pockets of Yogis struggling to pay for $18.00-and-up Yoga classes nationwide, said the nonprofit, nonpartisan Yogis for Yoga Class Price Reform (YYCPR).

NirvanaPranaOneWorldYoga SuperStudio is also, to the tune of nearly $1 million so far, the lead funder of opposition to Proposition 108, the Fair Yoga Class Price Initiative on California’s November ballot. The measure would fund research and commercial development of alternative Yoga venues and diminish dependence on overpriced Yoga studios. It would be paid for by a levy on sales of Yoga props, videos and other Yoga paraphernalia sold by Yoga studios. Yoga studios are prohibited from passing the levy on to Yogis under the initiative.

"The successive record profits of the Yoga studios show that only outright greed drives their campaign against Prop 108," said Jeanie-ji, spokesperson for YYCPR. "The major Yoga studios want no interference in their ability to pick the pockets of Yogis, and no threats to their control of class prices.” “We find it odd”, she added, “that with new Yoga studios opening every day, prices should be driven down due to increased competition. Instead, there is almost collusion between them to keep them high.”

A recent poll by the organization, Yoga Alliance of Real California Yoga Stars, found that as the pain of continued high Yoga prices gnaws at Yogis, support for alternative Yoga venues and Proposition 108 in particular rises. A clear majority, 72 percent of those questioned, supported Prop 108 when its description was read to them. "The Yoga lobby has killed or stalled all attempts to rein in Yoga studios profiteering in the U.S", said Jeanie-ji.

When asked if there were other issues of concern beside high Yoga class prices, Jeanie-ji replied, “Yes, class sizes and crappy Yoga music. Not only are these studios charging outrageous prices for classes, but to add insult to injury, they cram as many students as they can into each class. We will be working on standards that will require all Yoga mats to be at least two feet away from each other in all directions”.

When asked about the issue of bad Yoga music played in the studio, Jeanie-ji replied, “This is one of the sleeper issues that many Yogis have been gripping about, like forever. It’s bad enough when they play that mind numbing stuff from famous Yoga kirtan stars, but when they start in with the temple bells and gong crap, we need to put our foot down”.

To incite change on a grass root level, YYCPR suggests that all Yogis take action in the fight against overpriced Yoga classes by filling out and sending the following form letter to any Yoga studio and their studio owners that they feel are guilty of the issues described above.

--------------Fill in the blanks then cut and paste into an email----------------

[Today's Date]

[Owner of Studio]
[Studio Address]

Dear [Owner of Studio]:

I am writing to let you know that your studio:

[check all that are appropriate]

( ) Is charging too much for Yoga classes
( ) Is too crowded
( ) Has crappy Yoga music

Until these conditions are corrected, I want to notify you that I will avoid practicing in your studio. I will either be:

a) Practicing at another studio where these conditions do not exist.
b) Practicing at home.

I encourage you to correct these conditions as soon as possible so we can continue to have a healthy Yogic relationship with your studio.

Please feel free to contact me once these conditions are corrected.

(Yoga studio guidelines can be found on the nonprofit, nonpartisan, Yogis for Yoga Class Price Reform (YYCPR) website)


[Your name]
[Your address]
[Optional: Your phone number and/or e-mail address]


Sunday, February 25, 2007

Yoga News - Early Sticky Mat Discovered

Anil Gupta
For EternallyBlissfulYoga Super Magazine

An amateur Yoga Archeologist has found, what appears to be an early Yoga sticky mat, in the Indian state of Arunachal Pradesh, bordering China.

The strikingly colored Yoga mat was identified by Ramana Athreyamana as he was hiking through a remote forest in the northeast part of the country. "Quite frankly, I was lost", said Atreyamana, age 54. "I was wandering around in circles, when at some point, I looked down and there it was! The floods in the regions must have washed it from a cave", he exclaimed.

When asked just how old this sticky mat was, Mr. Athreyamana, put an age of at least 3,000 years old. "We're talking Patanjali here, people", he excitedly added.

Measuring a mere 17 by 39 inches, Athreyamana was asked if that was bit small for a Yoga mat. He replied, "You have to remember that people were smaller back then".

Is this truly a Yoga sticky mat?

"With today's modern technology, we gathered all the information we needed to confirm it as a Yoga sticky mat", Athreyamana said. "We took samples of the core and analyzed the surface. This is definitely an early Yoga mat."

Athreyamana says detailed comparisons of modern sticky mats and this one reveled key similarities. For example, this surface of this newly discovered mat has a surface covered in pine resin and pitch, giving it a tacky grip. This has been spread over a base that appears to be of animal hide.

When ask if this was truly an early Yoga sticky mat, Mr. Athreyamana smiled, "Look here, do you see the hand and foot prints on the surface. See those chest hairs and scraps of clothes embedded in the surface? This was obviously an early model as it seems that the Yogi had not quite figured out the tackiness required in a Yoga mat. It must have been a bit of a painful experience for the Yogi using this mat".

The findings will be published in the next issue of the journal Yoga Mats.

Yoga News - Yoga Lifts Off

Mary Stavins
For Yoga WorldFlight News

In the first documented case of a Yogi levitating during a Saturday morning Yoga class, John Depakin of Dayton, Ohio, found himself airborne for several minutes.

"It kind of freaked me out to be quite honest with you", he said. "We were doing the Yoga pose, Bumblebee, while I repeated the mantra, 'Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee'. I felt like a bit of an idiot when our instructor told us to flap our arms while we repeated this mantra. But it was shortly thereafter that I lifted off the ground."

The Bumblebee is a Yoga pose that Sri Sri Swami Baba Guru YogaDawg claims he discovered written on a banana leaf manuscript in the basement of the Baltimore Public Library. He subsequently claimed that it was devoured by rats that prowl the stacks down there. When asked how such an ancient text came to be found in the Baltimore Public Library, he said that the old merchants of Baltimore City must have brought it back from India or maybe some pirates.

In another development, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (founder of TM which has it own flying Yogis) has acknowledged that students at the Maharishi University of Management in Fairfield, Iowa have been spontaneously levitating from their desks when they have been logged on to the website. "Apparently, that web site has really lightened them up", he said. "After two years of study and countless academic papers validating this phenomenon, we have decided to add the textbook, My Third Eye Itches - A Yogic Guide, to the curriculum next to the Vedas, the Bhagavad-Gita and the Yoga Sutras. It obviously contains great truths".

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Yoga News - Extraterrestrials Do Yoga

Abdul Momand
For EternallyBlissfulYoga Super Magazine

A farmer walking his wheat field found a simple word in a crop circle that might signal, for the very first time, that yoga is of interest to not only the people of Earth but also to the Extraterrestrial community at large.

This first yoga crop circle appeared in the fertile area of the Becca Valley. The image measures some 640 ft in total length, with the pictogram showing the word, YOGA. Though not perfectly aligned, the word, in the the head-high early wheat plants with its spiral lay of the plants was impressive none the less.

When presented to the founders of famous yoga schools, there seemed to be a common agreement among them, "This is obviously done by an Extraterrestrial force that is new to yoga as the alignment of the letters are a bit shaky." A leading teacher of the Iyengar School said, "If the Extraterrestrials had come to one of our classes, we feel the lettering would have been aligned more properly. We concur that, either the force was new to yoga or studied under one of the other schools of yoga, perhaps Ashtanga."

The photo below seems to indicate that yoga is even more popular then currently believed.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Yoga in a Truck

Gilley McWilliams
For Yoga Business Opportunities Magazine

A new franchise offering from YogaDawg, Yoga in a Truck ® is the nation's first residential and commercial mobile Yoga studio franchise system. The mission of the company will exceed its customer’s expectations by offering a full-range of residential and commercial mobile Yoga studio services.

Yoga in a Truck ® franchises offer Yoga students a complete Yoga Studio on wheels to allow them to take Yoga classes in the comfort of their own driveway or parking lot of a business they might own; whether it is practicing one asana, an entire Yoga class, or even a Yoga workshop, Yoga in a Truck ® allows the Yoga studio to come to the Yoga student.

YogaDawg took his inspiration to create this franchise upon seeing Cyndi Lee’s (famous American Yoga Star and Yoga Magazine Star) “Yoga in a Box”. “I just took Cyndi’s idea to the next Yoga level”, YogaDawg explained. Each Yoga in a Truck ®mobile studio is layed out in the fashion as described in the Yoga Sutras and updated for the modern Yoga student to include piped in Yoga music, candles and incense. A complete Yoga boutique is also offered in each truck.

Neither trucking nor Yoga experience is required to obtain a Yoga in a Truck ® franchise. Yoga in a Truck ® is about maintaining solid customer relations, managing people and schedules, and following common- sense business practices. Women and husband-wife teams operate more than half of the Yoga in a Truck ® franchises.

Yoga in a Truck ® training programs enables Franchisees to learn everything from A to Z about operating a Yoga in a Truck ® franchise. Phase One begins the day a franchise is awarded. Franchisees receive a comprehensive start-up kit and begin working with the training and franchise consulting staff. Phase Two takes place at YogaDawg University, located in Lansing, Mich. This phase combines comprehensive classroom and practical training. Phase Three is the opening of the franchise! As a franchise begins operations, the Home Office support team provides ongoing assistance including an on-site visit from a Yoga in a Truck ® Franchise Business Consultant.

The financial resources necessary to get started fall between $83,000 and $245,000.