Yoga News - Establishment of Department of Yoga on Pelosi's Agenda

Cal Bonair - January 6, 2007
For Yoga Quarterly

Buried deep within the Democrats 100-hour agenda is a plan to establish a U.S. Department of Om Land Yoga. With the trillion dollar Yoga economy, there are fears in financial markets that Yoga might soon begin being outsourced to India. Commenting on this issue, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said, "We feel that the establishment of a Department of Om Land Yoga will allow us to protect the economic interests of the country. In addition, we feel that this new Federal Department will create a more peaceful country, somewhat like Canada." Pelosi and the Democrats say they have the votes to make this happen. "We intent to prevent Yoga from slipping back to India and causing a recession in this country while at the same time healing the wounds that the Republicans caused in the last six years by fostering the practice of Yoga for all our citizens", she added.

When ask where she came up with the idea, Pelosi said that a small group of House and Senate Democrats began taking classes in a Yoga studio in the Adams Morgan section of Washington, DC. "We felt that a Yoga studio was the only place that we could do our strategic planning without the Republicans catching on to what we were up to. In the meantime, we all became hooked on Yoga", Pelosi explained. Asked who attended these classes, she mentioned Ted Kennedy, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama among other Democrats in both houses. Expressing surprise that Ted Kennedy would be interested in Yoga, Pelosi replied, "Even though Ted looks like a fat, drunken slob, he has become quite an adept Yogi". It is rumored that a Yoga studio has been established in the basement of Congress.

President Bush reacted to the news of this item in the Democrats agenda, by exclaiming, "Yoga?? I warned you about those psycho, whack job Democrats". Dick Chaney, upon hearing the news, said, "Where's my damn shotgun". Donald Rumsfield remarked how he was glad to get out of that "nuthouse" called Washington and was looking forward to retirement in Iraq.

Yoga News - Teacher Training in a Box

Yoga by Betty
For Yoga Education News

The new YogaDawg Teacher Training in a Box contains everything you need to become a Yoga teacher. Unlike other teacher training courses that are offered by every other Yoga studio and Yoga star in existence today, this easy, do-it-yourself, teacher training course will allow you to become a teacher in your own time or even quicker. With its collection of CDs, the easy to understand and critically acclaimed My Third Eye Itches – A Yoga Guide, the patented Yoga Student in a Box along with other learning tools, teacher training will no longer be the arduous affair that it has been in the past.

The YogaDawg Teacher Training in a Box comes with following:

- Three disk teacher training CDs:

Disk One: The audio version of My Third Eye Itches - A Yoga Guide

Disk Two: A selection of Yoga inspired howling created by Fred (YogaDawgs next door neighbor).

Disk Three: White noise CD that can be played in the car or at night with subliminal messages such as: Yoga is money; I want to be a Yoga star, etc.

- The patented Super Abridged Yoga Classics that cut to the chase of such ancient Yoga texts as the Yoga Sutras, Bhagavad-Gita and Right-On Yoga.

- Flash cards showing the 12 essential poses of the YogaDawg SuperDuperBlissInducer Super Bok Choy Method ® that includes the correct alignment and benefits of each pose.

- A candle, a stick of incense and a book of matches to help create your sacred space.

- The patented Yoga Student in a Box ® to help you practice alignment on your future students.

- A set of framed photos of currents Yoga Stars to keep you inspired.

- And last but not least, the awe inspiring, simulated Yoga mat in the form of a real dollar bill. This can be used as a Yoga mat for the Yoga Student in a Box and for that all important “first buck’ you make in your career as a yoga teacher.

The YogaDawg Teacher Training in a Box is offered for a limited time for only $59.95. A bargain over other teacher training courses which run into the thousands of dollars at your local Yoga studio. This is a golden opportunity to pursue your desire to become a Yoga Teacher and to cash in on the Yoga boom for a nominal price.

Upon completion of the Teacher Training in a Box, you will receive the coveted "Soon to be a Yoga Star" Ribbon printed with Congratulation on it from the YogaDawg College of Yoga. This will be a fine thing to pin to your Yoga mat when you actually teach students.

Praise for Teacher Training in a Box:

Damn, why didn’t I think of that…Cyndi Lee

Damn, why didn’t we think of that…David Life and Sharon Gannon

Damn, why didn’t we think of that…Rodney and Colleen

Damn, I could have been a Yoga teacher…George Bush

The YogaDawg Teacher Training in a Box with the patented Yoga Student in a Box

The coveted "Soon to be a Yoga Star" Ribbon from the YogaDawg College of Yoga

The YogaDawg Teacher Training in a Box with the patented Yoga Student in a Box along with the coveted "Soon to be a Yoga Star" Ribbon from the YogaDawg College of Yoga